333. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How Long Gone is here? Oh, I'm still hungover from China. It's been the most activated weekend of my entire adult life. Thank you guys for your prayers during this time. I didn't post the hospital photo, but I was suffering from some dehydration. Exhaustion issues in the desert. It was 60 degrees at night, maybe. 50 with windchill. It was 50 with windchill, and I was only being kept warm by a pair of Patagonia shorts. No socks, of course, so it was a little, you know, my whole body. Oh, yeah, you had a shoeless penny loafer for 12 hours of Coachella. That's not the most Chris Black shit I ever heard. I don't know what it is. Look, if Harry Styles can wear, you know, Gucci-heeled silver boots for a two-hour performance, I can rough it in my J.M. Westons. They are a little dusty. It's no problem. You can clean them off. Yeah, I mean, not worse than the Kendrick Lamar silver boots with the L.A. Dodgers logo. Kendrick Lamar is one of the worst-dressed people on the planet, and I don't know why we pretend that he isn't. I mean, I don't think he's that bad, but I think the whole outfit was fine except for the boots. Yeah, that's a good point. I guess I don't understand. He got swept up by the majesty of Coachella. I get it. Yeah, no, it's an exciting time for everybody. I just don't understand why. I guess everyone thinks they need to get fits off where it's like, bro, you could just wear a T-shirt and jeans and some sneakers and you would look cool. You don't have to go absolutely bananas. You have to be very secure with yourself.

to just pull up the way that you did or the way that I did to Coachella. I see. Jason was actually debuting a new collaboration we have coming. It was exclusive. Luckily, the paparazzi didn't catch him in that. Week two. What are you going to do? Well, I did cover it up with some gaff tape when we were on the golf cart because I did see some guys lurking. But we were able to keep the logo covered, and we made it out. Business of Fashion wanted a quote on them, and I said, Not until May. Yeah, we were able to escape Coachella unscathed. But the full, I mean, you know, look, we pick up a friend of the show, Twin Coleman, and I pick up Jason and KK at 10 a.m. over here in Glendale. Jason's carrying a Montbell purse. It's called a pouchette. It's a pouchette, which is a Louis Vuitton term for a purse. But you were also, you came packing those energy drinks that are unable to be consumed by those under 18. Yeah, I think it's called AdShock. Yeah. Is that what it is? A-D-S-H-O-K or something? What a strange name. I don't know who said the can feels like grip tape, but that's very accurate. It has a nice toothiness to it. Because it's such a powerful beverage that you can't have something slippery going on. Yeah, it could be. Red Bull can slide right of your hand, hit you in the eye. It's like when you're, it's like. It's like when you're looking at your phone in bed. We've all dropped in our face. We've all been there. You're not going to drop this high-octane energy drink. No, but we started our journey to the desert and made great time, but we had to stop. I had 105 on the dash. Honestly, Jason's a great distance driver because he's not scared of the popo. What seems to be the problem, officer? Excuse me. I'm not on the Green Bay Packers, but I get that a lot. I'll sign something for your kids if you want. If we can take a picture, no problem. My man here, he has a camera. If you like film. So we did make it to Raising Cane's in the Inland Empire. You can turn the chest cam off. Officer, no, no, no. I stumbled. I wasn't pushing you. You know I wasn't pushing you. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't attack an officer.

Yes, we went and had a great pit stop at Raising Cane's. What a fine establishment. Confusing chicken place. It's honestly disgusting to watch you guys eat that stuff, but luckily you got a kid's meal, so I kind of... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like chicken fingers are like ice cream, unless you get the kid-sized cone. You have to control yourself. Otherwise, you're going to go hog wild. If you put a banana split in front of me or a huge Cheesecake Factory Sunday in front of me, you're going to take a bite. You're going to take a bite. The bites will keep taking. As Louis C.K. says, I don't stop eating when I'm full. I stop eating when I hate myself. Same thing with the ice cream. And the canes, if I got chicken tendies in front of me and a limited cane sauce. Oh, not a limited sauce. They're going to have to strap me up. Wow. Cuff me to the bench. I hope Rick and Morty weren't involved. But I was able to go to Whole Foods for poor people's sprouts and get some day-old vegetarian sushi to also enjoy. So I was kind of living. I had my gallon and my Inari tofu pockets. Sprouts is definitely the fashion nova of Whole Foods. Yeah, I mean, they had some cheap knockoffs. But it's also – I like to make fun of Sprouts, but then I've gone there in a pinch in a flyover city or even in, like, Atlanta because there's only so many Whole Foods. And it's pretty good. Like, it's better than Trader Joe's. Honestly, it's inspiring. It makes me feel happy about the future where somebody is like, we need to bring – healthier food healthy food at an affordable price so everyone can afford it air one is obviously you know yeah you know i agree i agree there's no like status attached to it it's just the same thing as trader joe's but all i want to do it's like i just want to go in it like you have you created this thing and like the plane is up and it's moving and it's fine but it's bumpy it's it's looking a little wonky i actually i want to go in with some edits like i could know i understand that but i actually i like the layout The wayfinding is nice. Oh, stellar wayfinding. They have some great signage that allows you to navigate the store in a kind of seamless way. I obviously didn't have much time because we were looking to get to Coachella early AF just to kind of soak it all in. We were, of course, able to secure our artist passes and, most importantly, our parking passes.

I've never seen Chris more happy than he was holding three separate parking passes. Because a VIP parking experience in situations like this is vital. You can't put a price on it. No, that goes underappreciated. I think it goes underappreciated. And it's such a strange difference from the olden days of Coachella. We were in the Rose Garden VIP area, and Carolyn was like, oh, I... When I would come here, that's the bush that I would sneak in through, and then that water tent is where I would pretend I was an employee, and I'd jump over the fence there. And now they literally scan the parking placard, like the thing that you hang from your rearview mirror. They hand it to a person. They scan it to make sure that you haven't produced that. The amount of times that we were scanned before even entering the event, honestly, 10, 12? Yeah, 10 or 12. Probably before we actually had boots on the ground at our hairy zone. It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. But we made it, and we got our credentials, of course. And then we were able to wander the grounds and just kind of soak it all in. And I was thinking to myself, this is kind of small. This don't feel like shit at 3.30 in the afternoon. I'm like, what the fuck? On a Friday. People are still at their work. That's what I didn't understand. And then as soon as we, you know, as soon as the sun fell, and I don't mean to skip ahead in the story. As soon as the sun fell, I was like, oh my God, this is huge. Look at all these fucking people. It's crazy. And there was an, obviously there was an increase in size of venue, uh, since the sun went down, but the increase in people does, I don't know. The whole thing felt crazier. Yeah. Sun went down. Um, I didn't see enough people fishing out. I didn't see enough people slumped. Like everybody seemed kind of sober and annoying, which is like, why are, I mean, I know why I'm here. To talk about it right now. I don't know why you guys are here, because you paid for this. Yeah, I think what you have to do in those situations where it starts at noon and it ends at 1 a.m., you really have to pace yourself. Of course. And you have to obviously get your drug on at the nighttime time. Of course. So you're not on display at 2.15. We've all done drugs in the sunlight, and it doesn't feel great. But in this...

situation i thought that was par for the course and i'm sure it was happening i'm just saying i think back in the day it happened a lot more now that everyone's a pussy then that's a good point yeah i didn't i didn't we didn't we weren't able to make it to the sky ting tent uh for the yoga but i heard it was popping yeah man i heard it was popping i didn't get a chance to go into the spiraled kaleidoscope instagram yeah i will say that the art the art installations are like perfectly bad like so bad it's it's exactly what it has to be and it's almost like i feel like the festival themselves like in on it like they're they're parodying themselves at this point because they know how what the people want and they just give it to them with absolutely no restraint and i really appreciate that okay okay it's like when you when you have the flaming hot cheeto chicken fingers exactly give them what they want disgusting and they're like These fucking fatties like it, though. Yeah, you've got to give people what they want. If I stop giving this to them, then they're going to start complaining. No, exactly, exactly. But we did see... They'll interfere with my money counting. We did see some music. We did see some live music. And I guess we didn't see anything. We started with Spiritualize? Really? I started with Princess Nokia. Oh, yeah. Princess Nokia was one of the worst things I've ever seen. I liked it. It was terrible. Then we went to Spiritualize, had a nice little nap. spiritualized inside and like a fake rock club built out of a tent. But honestly, I liked the vibe. They were good. They sounded great. And I liked that. It was just an hour. Cause that's the kind of band that can go for two and a half hours. And I just don't need anybody to go for two and a half hours. No, you know? Um, but I, I, I just found that you're blowing that back up. Of course. Then, then you're going rounds, you know? But when you were talking about the scanning thing, there's like a good scanning spectrum. Like when you walk in anywhere in the artist area, like, oh, we want to go see Harry. And they're like a guy with like a SWAT team or like a Navy SEAL guy is like stages on lockdown. The whole perimeter needs to be cleared. Yeah. And when Harry's going on and then we're like, let's go see, maybe we can like watch from the side stage when Spiritualized is playing. We just opened a chain link fence and I was backstage.

And then we just walked literally on stage, and I sat crisscross applesauce two feet away from the keyboard player, and we were just chilling on stage. So they're like, if you guys want to sneak in backstage here, you can, but I don't know why. It wasn't even a sneak in. There was a guy being like, yeah, cool, bro, come on, which is even more weird. Some places you have to scan it, and then some places are like... Just go through the motion of showing me that you have an arm that could have a wristband on it, and that's good enough for me. Yeah, no, you're right. I think that the biggest thing for me was I was hoping you guys were going to get fucked up, and because of the alcohol distribution and consumption arrangements, I felt like you never got there. I spent... Over $200 on Red Bull and vodka, just for myself alone, and my life partner did as well. So you're $400 deep on Red Bull and vodka. Combined household income expenditures of this weekend on our Amex bill will be over $400 only on Red Bull and vodka. Well, thank God I sprang for the gas, because that could have put this over the edge for you, budgetary. Budget-wise, that could have been bad. I wouldn't be able to round up to donate to charity or anything like that. If you're not able to round up to donate to charity, that would kind of nullify all of your donations for the year. But I want to know how I spent $200 on vodka and did not get drunk, did not get hungover. I don't know. What's up with that golden voice? I'm not a scientist or a member of the golden voice mafia. We love you, golden voice. But I'm guessing the extreme amount of Red Bull has something to do with that? Well, I only had one Red Bull and vodka. The other ones were... I was doing double tequila sodas. Splash of OJ. It's a nice little summertime drink. Just a whisper of a splash. Yeah, the Eagles weren't playing, unfortunately. I had four double tequilas and then one Red Bull vodka, and I had like five or six edibles. And you felt good. You could have driven us home. I was never fucked up a single time. You could have driven us home. I mean, maybe it's the desert heat. I think it could be just the raw excitement.

I was levitating. That's something. I had 20,000 steps in. Wow. I must have had two. My dogs were barking on the way home, but it was worth it. But I think that the consumption, luckily they were able to give us water free of charge. That's kind of one of the bonuses. Week one I heard we had a bottomless pit of 805 beer, which. Would have saved me a fucking car note. I would have been... We were talking to Yayo, and he's like, I had seven in the first hour. I was like, yeah, that's what I want. I believe that Yayo... I believe that that was in, like, an off-site... I don't think... Oh, it was? Because back in the day, they would have... It was literally... You know, you see those videos where they feed pigs in a factory farm? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just, like, a truck comes over, and then they... They just drop off 805? They start congregating to the trough, and it's literally a trough. Like when you rent a house in Joshua Tree, and it says it has a pool, but it's just one of those silver things that they bought at Lowe's. I think of that more as like a strip club pisser, but I know exactly what you mean. Strip club pisser, Joshua Tree, quote-unquote swimming pool, but it's filled with ice. And then back in the day, they would just dump like seven cases of Bud Light. And then all the fucking Coke dealers would just run over and just quadruple fisting their Bud Lights just because, you know, free alcohol. No, of course. No. I mean, it's – I think that the – I mean, the fashion was so exciting that that could have maybe also kind of had you on Chubb and it wasn't – the alcohol wasn't going where it should. Well, the fashion is a whole episode. But speaking of Coke dealers, it reminded me when we were watching Harry where I was right on the – The rail, as they say at the front, separating the losers from the people who own record labels and stuff like that. That distinction is a very thin line, and this time it was actually a barricade. I saw so many people who are in their late 40s who have to take their child to go see Harry. They're like, yeah, this is awesome. I used to come here and...

Got my dick sucked by someone there. I did coke off of that guy's dick here. And then now it's like, now my blue-haired child wants, I have to sit here with them for 11 hours. My they-them 11-year-old wants to camp out until Billy, which is tomorrow night. So it's going to be a long weekend. I love being right on that wall, though, the separation, because you need to have real fans who are showing real, pure excitement. Agreed. Versus all of us kind of... I mean, look, I thought I was showing real excitement, but I can't be in the level of like a 17-year-old from Riverside. I mean, when we were waiting for Harry, like a short girl, there was like a very short girl who could barely see over the rail, and there was like tall people, and the tall people were like, hey, do you want to like switch, and you can go in the front, and I can see over you, it's fine. And she basically like started crying. Like she moved. Two feet, you know? She was so happy. And she was like, oh my. And then she was so happy she couldn't stop talking. She would just ask a question to nobody like, I wonder what he's going to wear. It's so sick. And they're like, he's going to be wearing really cool clothes. It's going to be awesome. And they're like, I wonder what song he's going to sing. It's so good. Like they're just like so excited. And then I look in front of me and it's like a British guy who works at like Crush Management who's like, oh, like my friend Steve over there, I need to give him this eight ball really quick. No, that is absolutely the vibe. I saw so many drug deals happening at Harry. It was crazy. Really? Yeah. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools.

So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. upgrade that look starting at just $34 you know if you get a nice linen suit a little t-shirt underneath it some chill shoes you're looking good but you're staying cool the inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties so elevate that summer wardrobe go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns even on a nice holiday now available in canada That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking...

Something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled. Over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code HOWLONG with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. I didn't see anything. I was too excited. I was locked. My eyes were locked on the stage. I was kind of trying to understand the layout. I saw a good system. There was a guy who was – there was two guys. So let me tell you about drug deals, Chris. There's two guys. It starts with two guys. Well, there was three. There was the queen bee. Someone was holding the pack. Obviously, the weed holder, whoever is going to take the charge if someone gets popped. That's you. I am not the weed holder. No, no, no, honey. No, no, no, honey. I'm the one. I'll hold a gun, but not the bag. That's smart. That's smart. And then he distributes to the person. And then so there's a guy in the artist area, and he will take the drugs. And then there'll be a guy in the general edition area who's like, hey, man, you guys need anything. And he'll be like, oh, I got one. And he'll do a little. And then his friend will do and then come do a handover over the rail.

It was a smooth vibe, but it happened in front of me every single time. By the third one, I was like, bro, the next one, I'm going to have to tax you a little bit. You might need a freebie on this one. This is kind of my block. Jason said, I see you under the lamppost, and I ain't standing for this. It was like a British guy wearing all birds and jogger pants and a fedora. blood this is my corner like yeah we ain't really doing this anymore unless you give me a little bit of that i'm gonna have to i'm gonna have to have a little bit that's funny i didn't see anything cool like that at all all i saw was like like flared pants like those ugly printed flared pants it was crazy man i mean the looks the 70s inspiration which i guess apparently is obviously like a through line to the festival but i felt like it was overwhelmingly clear Yeah, I mean, when did we see Casey Musgraves of the Greek? That was like two years ago, three years ago? Yeah, she was good two, three years ago. It was like three years ago. Yeah. And that's when the kind of space cowboy look happened. And then like the Kylie, I think Kendall had a birthday party. That theme. That was themed space cowboy. And then it's interesting to see the trickle down of like it took three years. from that, like the most famous person in the world, to then have that look be completely mainstream at Coachella. But it's not cool gay space cowboy. It's like these clothes are so synthetic that it's dangerous to be in the heat vibe. Yeah, like this rayon blouse will just spontaneously combust. Yeah, if you start sweating because you're so excited about Harry. Some of those bigger gals too. Oh, no, no, no. There's some, the chafing post-Coachella. Yeah, it started to fire the old-fashioned way. It's like we're lost in the woods. That was the vibe. But yeah, the looks were... Big Mama, come over here real quick! I guess maybe Weekend 1, there would have been more hotties. I only saw, of course, Fi, you know what I mean, in a full fit. He was the only micro-celeb I fucking saw. I only saw artists. I didn't see a single micro-celeb. I didn't even see a CW actress.

But that fashion look was really, you know, everyone used to make fun of the boho 70s shit back, you know, 10 years ago. I was being lame, but I would, I mean, that's like high couture compared to what we were, like, every outfit was like Party City $10 costume. Yeah. No, you're right. It wasn't real clothes. You could see that the fabric was made to be worn once to go to a party. And that's it. Let me tell you about these people. They've never heard of sustainability. And that's offensive to me. Well, I think that I might argue that this clothing is so cheap that it's actually the most sustainable. It's kind of like, you know, like edible underwear. Yeah. Oh, I see. So it's that. Where it's kind of like you have one. It's like a time release capsule, like on your Oxycontin, for example. It's like you put this on. and the clock starts ticking to where this garment will just kind of turn into paper towel. It just turns into nothing after a while. If it gets wet, it could dissolve. Don't get it wet. That's maybe not the plan, but that will happen. Yeah, the looks are crazy, and no one's really that good looking. This is why God invented Revolve. Thank God. Unfortunately, we were not invited to Weekend One at the Revolve. I could have got us in if we really wanted to. At the Revolve Fest, where Kim Kardashian was paid $2 million to appear, and Jason and I were offered zero. That's why we weren't there, obviously. They said we could pay $2 million to come in. Oh, I understand. They wanted us to download the AXS.com app for our tickets, and it was a little too complicated. I was like... Can we just buy a bottle and get in? They're like, you have to buy the whole winery, actually, if you want to come in. That's how old and male you are. Do you like white, red? I mean, we have different producers and purveyors. I don't know if you can do Napa. Maybe there's a lot of great Tijuana wineries that maybe we could check you out. I think there's some new kind of different wineries that maybe you would be interested in. They're a little more progressive, I guess, is what I would say. Over in Downey?

Revolve Winery Downey. Damn it. Yeah, the fashion was the saddest part to me, I would say. Yeah, the fashion was the saddest part. I think that the saddest part for me was having to go into the dance tent. Well, you said you wanted to see people fucked up. fishing out that's the only place it's gonna no i know i just didn't realize that the dance tent is literally a line to do drugs in the dark yeah that goes the length of the festival and it doesn't matter who's playing it's the best place to be booked yeah well i i think that they created that tent as a solution to the problem of bro edm taking over coachella and festivals in general like the hara tent used to just be like Dylan Francis, like frat guy, like chest pumping shit. And I think there's that kind of, that clock kind of ran out a little bit and it was replaced by hip hop and fake gay TikTok musicians. Yeah. So now like that tent is like, here's just people playing regular old house music. It doesn't have to be like. stage diving shit, you know? No, I know what you mean. I mean, I will say it was the most... But it was cool to see that area. Everyone wanted to be in that area. It was the most exciting. I mean, we tried to... I did my first attempt of trying to understand Peggy Goo. Well, first we got to see Purple Disco Machine. Yeah, which I don't... Which is a guy wearing a rayon tie-dye t-shirt. He was wearing a wedding music. But he was with St. Laurent. That's the difference. Was it St. Laurent? I mean... God damn it. No, he's rich. But it was just like... He's definitely rich. It's just like the guy is like... I didn't know that his music was that cheesy. He's got four CDJs. He's playing like garbage disco. And he's just kind of like... He's playing Sephora disco. Yeah, the way he was moving his body made me mad. Me too. It was too like, I'm making fun of you. His vibe was like, I'm getting paid so much to do this. I'm barely trying. This is Sephora music, and you guys are eating it up, and I just got paid. What do you think he got paid? I mean, he wasn't that high on the bill. He probably got like 20. It wasn't that high. Look, 20 for doing an hour in the dark and being able to go back home? I think a lot of those people...

who are like European, like real DJ DJs. Yeah. Who are like, I'm playing, you know, real shit. And they come to Coachella and they kind of treat it as like, this is like, LOL. This is like, I'm playing for retards kind of vibe. Yeah. Like I'm not, this isn't a, none of these people understand what I actually do. Yeah. And they don't understand how deep my techno is. My techno weighs a ton. But then, but like him and like a Peggy Goo, they're all kind of like the commercial versions of. of the underground anyway i will say my favorite part about watching dance music with you is i ask you a lot of questions and you answer them in a respectful way that makes me feel seen because i'm literally just like jason what is this i i honestly it's something that i really don't understand and i've learned about it basically strictly from you but like the peggy goo thing i'm like i don't understand this isn't good And I'm like, oh, this is techno, right? And you're like, yes. And I'm like, is this what she's always sounded like? You're like, no. And I'm like, is this original music? You're like, that one's not. This one is. It's a nice explainer for a dum-dum. But I will say that it's just like that was the best-looking people the whole festival was the VIP at Peggy Goo. Yeah, which is something to be said, which is why she makes millions of dollars. That's the thing. I was like, I get it. I'm asking all my questions because I'm trying to understand on a different level. Is this fun and cool? It absolutely is. Yeah, that's what's interesting about this. Any of that stuff is like if you're really good at what you do, then you'll be very successful. But if you just remotely are attractive, your income and success. Well, because backstage at that tent or whatever, you know, I saw a lot of big DJs coming out of their trailers, and I got to say, they weren't, you know. The Martinez brothers look like they're the stock boys at Maxfield. You know what I'm saying? 95% of DJs and, I guess, any musicians are, like, pretty ugly, you know? No, I mean. Because if you look good, you're so busy getting your dick sucked like an Abercrombie guy. You ain't got time to be creative or whatever. You ain't got time to practice your trumpet. Yeah, but I enjoyed the EDM. I think that it was a little tough for Jason because I did point out to him that his abuser was there. After a successful show in Los Angeles, Chinatown. We swept that under the...

Under the oriental rug. Beautiful woman, Alexander Wang, had entered the VIP at Peggy Goo. I noticed him. I had to let Jason know, but I was able to shield him from any attacks. I alerted the security guard next to me that we may be dealing with issue. He said, bitch, I don't work for you. And I said, I understand that, but I'm just saying if I need to use your weapon. to protect my friend, that's kind of a contract you and I are entering into while this Peggy Goo plays. I was considering taking a selfie with him, but I was like, I don't know. What am I going to do with that? The whole thing is just kind of dark. Yeah, the whole thing is dark. He did leave before we had a chance to confront him and beat him down. I'm not willing to go to jail for you in this case, but I could see that you were kind of like, You're getting emotionally charged. I need backup. Well, you were emotionally charged. I couldn't tell if that was when Peggy Goo played an original or if that was because you could see Wang combing his hair in your peripheral. You know what I mean? It was weird seeing that and then after watching that Abercrombie doc about Bruce. Yeah. It's such an interesting... I mean, we're not going to get into it now on this episode because it's very convoluted and confusing, but like... 300-pound buff football player-looking guys complaining about a guy wanting to have sex with them. Or me making light of a five-foot-pound beautiful woman twink trying to pull my dick out in a public space. It's kind of like... you know i don't know what do you even do about i believe the only phrase you can apply to that is there are levels to this shit you know and i think that's that's the situation but it didn't it's kind of like the like the comedy rule of punching up he's groping up yeah he's groping up all of all the great male all the the the great gay male sexual sex pests

They grope up, and that's why they're able to still not be – they don't have to go live upstate and open a country store. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Only when the wing closes you have to do that. Yeah, I'm glad that the Wang sighting didn't ruin your Coachella. Tim said he was there again yesterday. Oh, he's a party animal. He's a party animal. He used to be. I mean, I'm sure he's partying even more now because he's got to drown his sorrows in the Mali. Yeah, Mali. There's Mali in my water. There's definitely Mali in his Dasani. Well, I hope his show went well in Chinatown. I think it was open to the public, which to me, if you've got to open it to the public, just based on the gatekeeping of the fashion community, it's not a great sign. Objects aren't super. I'm not sure what choice. I don't think the Jacquemus Kawaii show was open to the public. They're literally like, it's only available on private plane, and we have to put you on that plane. But we were able to see Peggy Goo, Jason, mansplain Techno to me, much to my excitement. And then we had to rush over. We heard a rumor that... And Drizzy Drake was coming out with Little Baby. That didn't happen. That was a Molly-filled gossip game of telephone rumor. That was a telephone rumor. You know who you are who told me that. Yeah, and if you lie to us again, there's going to be problems for you. But we were able to make it to see Phoebe, and we were able to stand on the side of the stage and get killed with smoke from a smoke machine that sounded like a choo-choo train. During the quiet moments, when she's playing Scott Street, I don't want to hear machines. I did complain to some of the union guys, and they called me names that I can't kind of repeat here. Their hands were tied. Their hands were tied. So we watched the whole show from the side of the stage. It was beautiful. The crowd's loving her. It's a lot of people. A lot of people. Shout out to Phoebe's TM tiger mom who kept kicking us out of different areas. Her entire job.

Was to make us move to a different area. Yeah, we moved a couple times. You know who didn't have to move? Maude Apatow wasn't. I don't know why Maude didn't have to move. What's she been in? I haven't seen Euphoria. I'm saying no. You know what I'm saying? Oh, your dad made a couple movies? That's cool. You're not a star if the word rising is in front of star. You know what I'm saying? Deadass. This is normal procedure, but before the last song, they usually clear the stage because the... the superstar wants to we don't want any friction we don't want any friction while they're leaving the stage and uh so we went down to the very front you know in front of the barrier again like we're talking about but it was very close and there was no one there except us and which was so odd because like the artist air like the the front row it's like the photography pit yeah artist area pit like for harry there was like 3 000 people and even for spiritualize there was you know yeah yeah a couple dozen people by the end it was us man for phoebe bridges is you me tim carolyn and like a photographer there's a couple photographers but she it was honestly like pretty amazing it was like yeah it was so cool it was pretty it was pretty sick and she was that i mean i that i've seen that that thing before like on you know like on youtube or whatever but like her finale it rips and it was good and it was cool to see it from that that angle you know what i mean it's cool to see the trumpet player oh he was the trumpet player is living his best life I know, because there's so many people out there watching it on the YouTube stream who practice the trumpet and be like, one day I'll be making $75 a night playing trumpet on stage to 20,000 people. No, I think the thing is, this is what I said to you, I think trumpet players, I think he truly gives them hope, and he's definitely making more money than he would be in a local orchestra somewhere. Absolutely. So it's like, you can join the band, but yeah, I mean, it was cool, and I think that the... I unfortunately did sit on a little water during that. Oh, I didn't know that. My shorts were a little wet, and I had to – So we're going to go with I sat on water? Yeah. I just want to make that clear if you saw any – because we didn't talk about it, so I just want to make it clear that that's what happened. Okay. I just want to make it clear that's what happened. I did see a lot of –

people back from back in the day like dj people i saw that every time jason talks to someone i'm like damn who is this loser and what's the story when i talk to someone it's like oh look at this cool young person this is interesting jason let me introduce you no i'm kidding i'm kidding but but it was it was we like i've talked about this before and i don't know if it's some type of dysmorphia thing or like you know you're unable to see the forest for the trees or whatever type shit but like every person like if I consider myself to be like an old person who's you know old just I'm just an old person whatever and I'm not necessarily I'm a pretty chill casual guy I don't I don't really prioritize my looks as much as the average you know most people I'm no I'm no slob but You've gotten better. And I see so many people from back in the day who were younger than me, maybe like five years younger than me. And you see them now, and they just look run down. They look older than I do. They let themselves go. I don't know what it is. I'll tell you what it is. It's kids. Yeah. It's procreating or it's holding on to a lifestyle that you should let go. I think that's a big part of it. There's two ways it can go. If you still go to bars on weeknights, that's what you're gonna look like when i go to atlanta it's the same thing i'll see somebody i'm like damn bro used to be the stick man at the club you put on 40 and look gray yeah yeah yeah and you just see it in their eyes yeah they're dead their their life is over you know it sucks it's like it doesn't have to be like this it sucks but it makes me wonder like have what have i done to not have that happen to me i mean other than the kids part but like no you stopped djing You didn't take it further than it needed to go. When you were like, you know what? This is kind of petering out a little bit. I could keep pushing, but I don't want to. Right. Catch me at the Golden Voice. We'll be DJing in a few weeks at the Just Like Heaven Festival. Still a few tickets left. There's some tickets available. We'll see you guys out there. No, but you know what I mean. Of course, I DJed at the Goldstein House last night for the Sporty and Rich activation. That's nothing. Actually, it's crazy that Emily let you smoke a cigarette inside. I hope she doesn't have to pay extra for that.

She sent me a Venmo request for $7,500. Unfortunately, it's not the Marriott. You can't really just get away with it. There was some lymphatic drainage and some checking account drainage. The Wells Fargo feels like my liver. But no, I think honestly though, I think that like if you choose to, I don't know. Is it because I drink water and get eight hours of sleep? Yeah, no, for sure. It's also like you just prioritize those things and a lot of people don't as they get older. Which is crazy because that's the number one time you should start priority. Well, something interesting for you because of your exact age right now, but there's this guy, Scott Galloway, a podcaster I listen to, business dude, whatever. But he says that... Yeah, I know you like Gary Vee. Continue. He's like if you and Gary Vee combined, actually. So check him out. I'm familiar with Scott Galloway and I couldn't be less interested, but tell me about him. He's bald, he's rich, and he works out. He has a few issues. What are his issues besides like being... You know, he tells it like it is. He might spit some real shit. Like he would say like a woman's place is the kitchen? In a joking manner. Sure. He's not afraid to ruffle some feathers. I understand. So there are... The spectrum of feather ruffling is different on his like billionaire VC level versus what you might be doing, you know? And that's no shots to you. You're still killing it. You're beasting in the underground. Look, bro, you're not a billionaire yet, but you've got to start with an M before you get to a B. You know what I'm saying? And that is Cap. That's right. So he was talking about, it's like a scientific study that the average, I don't know if it's male or just human in general, at the age of 39 is when they, that's kind of when they cement how they consider the way that they look. Interesting. So like when they look at themselves in the mirror. That's what you're going to see. the 39 year old version of yourself in your mind, even when you're 60 or 50, whatever. So I can live with that. As you age, you sort of always are chasing that unattainable dragon. Like you're just always trying to consider yourself to be [redacted address] you do. And you never want to admit to yourself that you actually do look 59. Oh yeah. I'll never admit that to myself. That sounds great to me. I can live with that happily. I'm feeling a little tan right now. My lips are a little chat, but otherwise I'm good.

And I think a lot of it is also keeping up with just like culture and trends and the world. If you don't do that, it manifests physically to me. Like you can just tell by looking in someone's eyes if they have given up on caring about new things. Yeah, it manifests physically and also manifests in streetwear. Those are the two ways I can kind of see it as well. I mean, I would rather be homeless than have that happen. I would rather, I mean, I just don't. No, it's a fate worse than death. Unhoused. Of all the people that we saw, that was all good, but I am now a believer of Brazil's Anita. Yeah, we listened to Anita in the car last night after you were ranting and raving about it. I mean. I like that kind of music. I just do not have any interest in, especially in a set. I mean, you are far too straight and white. But, yeah, okay, yeah. Coming from you, that's a bit rich. Come on, bro. I'm a member of the Latin community. It's a new one I learned. You add an E like a saltine. Shout out to whoever told me that one. That's cool. I think that... Her being able to only shake one cheek is very cool. It is. It's a shame she's built like a WWF type chick, but it's not my flavor. But do you think she's going to cross over to the American market successfully? After this week's performance, because I remember like last week I was making fun of her. I was like some person named Anita, like the most boring name. And I just kind of. brush her under brush her aside as just a industry plant like dumb you know useless pop artists and that you know that's is that is what she is but after seeing her live and after seeing harry live and all these people who i consider to not really be real actual musicians more of a product to be consumed by people much like this podcast when you see him live you're like hmm

Anita. I think I get it. When I was in Miami, Dizza was talking about Anita, of course. Yeah, sure, sure. And I was kind of like, yeah, man, that's cool. I'm good. Her ass isn't big enough for him to be talking about it that much, but good for him. But she's still growing. She knows how to move it. As an artist and as a shaker. Yeah, it's not an F-350. It's not a dually. It's not a dually. It's not a diesel. But, you know, it's not the base model one. It's not a ranger. I know. I'm glad that you discovered a new artist at Coachella, and that's kind of what me. I mean, it stopped us in our tracks. Carolyn and I were walking from one tent to the other side of the thing, and we were like, oh, I think that Anita person's on. I think a friend of the show, Wes, DJ Diplo, came out last week, and I think Snoop and Megan V came out. Now, does Wes have a kid with her, or he just came out to perform? Probably. Both. Probably. I think they used a... He had to have sex with a different person to host because she wasn't able to... Because the abs are too good? The pregnancy didn't fit in with her album cycle, so she had to find a surrogate mother for that. Look, these labels, they got plans. If I have to fuck her, I'll fuck her. It's fine. You got a sister or something? So we were walking by, and we kind of did like, oh, this is funny. There's a big spectacle happening over here. And then we're like, oh, I think that's Anita person. We're kind of walking, walking. And then eventually both of us just stopped walking. Yeah. And we're just staring at her show for like 20 minutes. That's good. We watched the whole thing. That's the power of music, Jason. The music discovery. The power of ass. Well, there's two things in this world that matter. It's music and ass. And so when they combine, those powers are magnetic. But I liked it because you have like K-pop and you have all this other music. like industry kind of product music and it feels so unmusical it's just like such a formulaic whatever thing but she she was doing that of course because she's you know a super successful pop star but the the root of the music that she was playing was like real kind of ballet funk like favela shit yeah yeah like if you listen to k-pop or j-pop no shade to

My BTS Army, I stan. Don't Joe Budden yourself right now. Be careful. I stan Blackpink, of course. Of course. As well as Twice. But that music is just like some. No, it's computer music. Some guy with his laptop is using algorithms to make this music. So you're saying that Anita has more texture and flavor for you? Yeah, it's like. Much like the food of her country. She took this music that Diplo first. took 10 years ago and brought it to the masses. But it's like this gritty, underground, like, you know, people are making it on these very rudimentary instruments and computers and, like, someone has, like, a $75 laptop that they found and it's, like, running on, like, solar power in a village and they're making just this very unique special music and she didn't, like, synthesize that into some mainstream bullshit. It still sounded dirty and raw, and hats off to her for that. And she can, as you said earlier, isolate and move each cheek whenever she wants to. That's the real talent here. I mean, most people cannot do that. Megan Thee Stallion, maybe. Oh, of course she can. Okay, I'm sorry. I know you're a hottie. I just wasn't sure. But she's a known ass person. That's a good point. Anita can move. No, I understand. She's like a little chihuahua had ass. We were walking, when we were on that same journey walking, through Gen Pop, as I would say, to put it in Riker's terms. Yeah, some people are like, you were walking. I'm like, yeah, bro. Why? I'm going to sit backstage and look at Omar Apollo drinking a bottle of water? I'm going to go see what's going on, man. Sometimes the Hadids will go out into the public. Yeah, you have to. I mean, when I was rubbing shoulders with Fi and... Kevin the Abstract, they were waiting for a golf cart just like us. You know? Theirs was a private contracted golf cart. It was a little different. Their clothes were a lot baggier and a lot more expensive. Phi was wearing his signature Oliver Peoples sunglasses, which is a nice touch. As was I. Oh, you were. Oh, I'm sorry. Not Phi's. You were wearing a different Oliver Peoples style.

You're wearing Black People's, which are the Black Fly's Oliver People's combo, is what it looked like. The collab that nobody asked for. The collab that only I asked for. Yeah, no, they made a one-of-one for you. They're like, we made this thing nobody wants, so I'll be like, I'll pay double. Yeah, let me get those. But we were walking, and we were talking about how kind of the screening process was a little on the chill side. I was like, oh, do I bring my edibles in? Do I bring my drugs in? And I could have brought... You could have fit a brick in the pouchette. And my pouchette could have been a half a brick, quarter brick, whole brick. If I really wanted to bring a whole entire brick. No, it's true. Tim brought in his sack. There could have been 11 guns in there. Thank God. Tim, having your shooter on you with the nice bum bag, like with the Japanese bum bag that's a little bigger. Anyone need gum? Candy? He had gum. Sparkling or flat? He had my contacts. He had all my stuff in there. It was nice. Contact lenses or contacts T2? The T2, of course. All right. The Kylie edition? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. But we were walking through and I saw, so there's a girl. and she pulled out a bottle, like a sunscreen, like a copper-tone sunscreen bottle, 10 inches. What you need out here in the desert. It's something you must have in your bum bag. I, too, wore sunscreen as well. Protect the face. That's how I look young. She opened the cap and began chugging the contents of the sunscreen bottle. So I'm starting to think, Jason, I'm starting to think there might have been some booze in there. Well, that was the thing. It was like she was doing it, but. It was kind of like a squeeze bottle. It was kind of hard. She didn't just remove the whole cap. She just did flip the top lid so it had the tiny hole where you would just squeeze a little bit of sunscreen in. So she just flipped the cap and was squeezing. It was like somebody milking a cow. Don't make this sexual. I don't want to see this. It's a little bit like it reminds me of the classic high school field trip alcohol and shampoo bottle.

Yeah, that's exactly what it was. I'm glad to see that that's still alive with the younger generation. But to me, it's like, okay, you have a sunscreen bottle. I don't know how much alcohol you fit in there, but it can't be a ton. It's not like a 32-ounce sunscreen bottle. But it's still, it's like, who cares? I mean, it's better to have some than none. That's true. If you're 17. I guess it's an underage thing. Underage and also like, again, the whole process for drinking sucks. It's like I'm going to miss my favorite band because I'm in line for a – Golden Voice, let's get a bar in the artist area. Oh, we need a bar. I don't have to walk out and do a stop and shout with a bunch of old guys. I only want to do gin pop stuff for anthropological reasons, not actual – I do my walkthrough and that's it. But I want to – how do you wash out the sunscreen bottle to the point where – Overnight soap. Oh. Overnight soak. Overnight soak in what? Soapy water? I would say overnight soak in water, then a nice rinse in the morning. Maybe an air dry. I worry that you can't get that. You'll always have a little bit of sunscreen flavor. Maybe she filled it up with a coconut Ciroc, so the flavors are complimentary. I don't want to blow your mind. She was doing a mixology type of flavor combination. Did she have a mustache? I didn't catch the mustache. Maybe, I mean, mixology I think is strong, but I think she's smarter than she looks. Yeah, she opened the Coppertone. She snapped her suspender and started. She weirdly had one of those really long spoons. Stirred. Yeah, I think the biggest takeaway was like remembering live music and how you don't need to love a band or an artist. Yeah. You can just be impressed by the showmanship and the work that went into putting on a good show. And when you see somebody like a Harry, leave it all on the stage. The Harry one-two punch opener was about as good as it gets. Like the first two songs, like that shit, I was like, this man is fucking good. And I mean, obviously I had more faith than you, but I was like.

that i was excited i didn't i mean i was more excited to see harry than drake let's put it that way yeah the back-to-back of those two songs and of course his custom gucci outfit with the hs on the pocket and also his band these guys get the bands are so crazy like people are so good like they're monsters like even when they're doing the stuff that like a casual fan probably doesn't want to see when they all five come up and they're all playing acoustics like harmonizing that shit sounded perfect Like, it's kind of insane. Yeah, it's interesting to me. I mean, we were talking about, like, most people are kind of not that attractive. But then if you're hot, then you get the looks. But there's a certain level of musician, like a session band player, where, like, if you're just that good, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. And it kind of makes you hotter in a weird way. Yeah, it's cooler. But, like, I want to know how you get to that level of, like, oh, I'm, like, a studio person. You know, I'm playing in this person's band. We're doing blah, blah, blah. But, like, how do you get that I'm in this person's band? Yeah, I'm in Harry's band, and he, like, features me. Like, I come up, and it's me and him, like, harmonizing. I'm not, like, hidden in the back. I think it's, like, I think it's honestly, like, intentions are pure. It's, like, this person is just too good. I need them. They make me better. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. three rocker bros and some backing tracks. He has six people. You need that to fill out the stage too, I think, and make it feel real. When you're playing music like that, it's basically like a band. There's no secret that it's guitars, bass, and drums. You kind of have to. It's just such a high level because when we were picking up our dogs from the dog sitter... She lives in our neighborhood. She's an older woman, maybe like 50 or so. And she was like, oh, I went to the first Coachella. And she was like, yeah, I went and saw, you know, Moby and Chemical Bros, you know, all this shit. And she was talking about like music in the 90s back then, like late 90s or whatever. Like there was some imperfections to it. There was some real rawness to it. And that like kind of really. Damn, she likes helmet. That's cool.

Really cool. But there's an unpolished quality to it where you're a loser, you're a dork, you're not cool. Slacker lifestyle. Slacker grunge lifestyle. Yeah. If you're a tryhard, that's one of the worst things you could be. And it was sellable. That's the thing. That was like an attractive, which is now we live in a culture where it's either I'm a hustler or... I'm taking some time for myself. There's no in-between where it's like, I just want to have a cool time and get by, man. I think the people like Harry's band is able to transcend that. If you have, oh, I'm in Sonic Youth or Nirvana, and we're going to play the song, and it's going to be all atonal. I'm going to fuck it up. We're going to make a bunch of noise for five minutes after the song. In between tracks, you're like... like you're tuning your instrument you didn't even turn it on the drummer is just like fucking around feedback from the air and you're like this is normal and if you try not to do any of that so hard it just looks dorky and it just looks too polished and it's like you you aren't having fun this is a job for you but on that hairy level like not a single thing was imperfect but it doesn't feel but it doesn't have the bad but it's kind of like we're so good that we're able to achieve perfection without trying hard yeah and i think once you're able to do that then it unlocks this new area where it's like you're you're in this rarefied air where everyone has to just give it up no for sure no it's i mean that's you're just like fuck it's just too good i've watched that band i mean it's in the drummer who's like crazy has been in it the whole time but like He's switched out a few people for sure, but it's just like shredders, man. And they look like they're having fun. That's the other thing is they're like, this is sick. Also, it's like, what gig is bigger than that? You know what I mean? There's not really anything bigger that you could be doing. And you'll see a lot of other people who are playing, and you're like, oh, backing track. You can see the Ableton laptop on the side stage for the TV track vocals.

You can see where they're fudging it, and you'll hear vocals, but the mic won't be up to the person's face. You're like, okay, it's kind of whatever. And with Harry's show, you're like, they're just playing the music. That guitar sound is just this girl's guitar. It sounds good because they're pros. He probably has a little auto-tune on his voice, just kind of a tasteful amount, tucking it under. But everything else is just like the drums that you hear that sound exactly like on the album, just as perfect. in these terrible conditions, outdoor, windy, all fucked up. It's just like I'm just hitting this drum that much better than everyone else. And that's why I'm here and you're not. It was very impressive, and luckily we were able to leave before Lizzo came out, which is convenient. But as much as I love Harry, I equally hate traffic. It was cold. We'd been there for 12 hours. It was time to get out. Look, Tim drove home. Two hours flat. Oh, yeah. No, it was under two hours. That's amazing. You know, I would have done that as well if we didn't have traffic on the way there. Yeah. But to me, that's kind of like there's – I don't know. We were talking earlier about the age 39 is when you stopped thinking about that. But like at what age do you stop – we're leaving – we're beating traffic. is better than seeing the last encore? That's a great question. Unfortunately, I've always been like that. Always. I'm just wired different, bro. I'm a pretty efficient cat, so I want to make it out. Actually, because when I used to go to a lot of big shows because of friends, like Dad gave us access, I always noticed that the celebrities... Someone would come tell them to go get in the car. I'm like, I'm leaving when they're leaving. Somebody who has had eyes on the set list. What happens is if you're a VIP at those big, big shows, you get the set list. They'll email you the set list. If you're going to the police's last show at the Garden, you have the set list or somebody you're with has it. Stallone's going to see the stones. Yeah, they're like, all right, you can bounce.

The Escalade's out back. You go backstage and walk straight out like you're Timberlake with a towel after you finish the set. You know what I mean? And it's like, so that's where I learned it. And I was like, oh, this may, in New York it's different because you're just like walking out and getting on the train. It's not as big of a deal. But like if you left Coachella after Harry's like third encore, it's going to take you two hours to get out of the parking lot. Even the VIP parking lot was probably a shit show. And I think everyone knows that, but they're like – Can't help themselves. I want to see this so bad. I love and care about this so much that I'm willing to wait. And that used to be me. Yeah. I don't love anything or care anything enough to sit in traffic. Yeah. It's bad. But it is the perfect – it's like I just – like the show is the perfect meal. And then leaving before the crowd is the perfect espresso and biscotti. They have a great affogato program at Coachella. Yes, it's the perfect affogato at the end. It's not enough to beat you at a game of billiards, but when I hit the eight ball in, it has to do a dung, dung, dung. Has to hit all four sides. Do some little shit where you're like, yes, I completed this. And I did it with a little style. I did it with some panache. I mean, I think, honestly, we did it as perfectly as we could. There were some things that would change, but overall, I had a great time, and I saw who I wanted to see. Some things you would change. Yeah. Golden Voice on the horn. Well, yeah. I mean, I can talk to Golden Voice privately. I wouldn't want to air them out, because they were so kind to give us those artist passes. So kind. But no, it was honestly fun. I'm glad we went, and I felt like shit all day yesterday, but that didn't stop us from hitting the... Sporty and rich tennis activation. I want one note before we get into that. If you're going to have an omakase sushi meal for $350, hire some Japanese people to do it instead of some white people from the valley. Okay. That's good advice. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Speaking as a white person from the valley. I was able to go to sleep by 3 a.m., which is...

The latest have been up since New Year's when you smoked a full cigar and woke up four hours. I hit the gym. God, I wish I brought a cigar to Coachella. That would have been nice. When we were walking into the hockey game last night, there was a Louis Vuitton Armenian bro who had an unlit cigar in his mouth walking around Staples Center for a hockey game. That's great. What a fucking jackass. That's very cool. Sorry. Sorry for interrupting. We made it to the Sporting Ridge Activation at the famous Goldstein House in Beverly Hills. What an activation it was. I was able to do a workout. It was a dry activation? It was a dry activation, and I was able to do a workout with Trainer to the Stars, Kirstie Godso. And my, my man, Roy, where I was, um, I'm not going to say I was the best athlete in the workout, but I was the one most focused. And I think that counts for something because the 28 other influencers that were trying to capture content by balancing their phone on their sporty rich water bottle, um, weren't concentrating on the donkey kicks quite as much as I was. And I'm paying for it saying my left glute. Yeah, I think the problem is when you have an influencer party that is fitness-based, everyone, not everyone, but most people kind of assume that this is going to be a photo shoot workout, not a workout. Yeah, we're not actually going to do anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is a fair thing to consider. Yeah, totally. We were able to enjoy some juicetic catering. Yeah, while you were working on that fat little ass of yours. Jason was wearing jorts and enjoying some carrots. Did I pull off the palace jorts? I have to say you did. And I'm proud of you. I love it. I will at once make fun of you and also give you props. Thank you for that. As I said, I come down from my workout. I'm sweating. I got my sunglasses on top of my head because I needed to really see what's going on. And I see Jortsman over here. Honking down on a plate full of salmon. He said, let me get a plate. He said, let me get a plate. And then he had a big-ass plate because Juista is one of the most torch scenes in the entire world. But the food is delicious.

I have heard, though, dogs not allowed. So now I'm going to start donating. I'm going to start donating to them monthly if I can't make it down there. Chris is going to start buying $100 gift cards every month and cutting them up on Instagram Live. It's the new support your restaurants thing. Any restaurant that bans dogs, I'm buying gift certificates and giving them out for free. The few, the proud. Exactly. To quote David Bowie, bring a few more people on, put the fear in a whole lot more. Same kind of logic going on. Maybe I'll have quicksand. by David Bowie on today's episode. That's a great idea. But, yeah, so Jason was enjoying his lunch, and then there was some, because of our Kings game. The baguette, a little chewy juicester. Yeah, the baguette was a little chewy, but that's going to help give me my kind of jawline I'm looking for. Actually, speaking of that, I posted a video of you on the back of the golf cart, hashtag golf cart life, and somebody was like, is Chris eating the incel gum in this video? Because you were chewing on a fresh. No, the incel gum, I'm more of a juice to baguette, is my incel gum. That's kind of what the bank account is looking like these days. But don't swallow it. Oh, I would never swallow it. I spit out the entire veggie sandwich. You just saw me chew it. But then there was also some tennis, and because of our Kings game schedule, I had to do the beginner set. But there was a ringer in there. Which one? The guy that had the sleeveless shirt on was hitting the one-handed backhand. He was my bro. Out of all the people playing, he was the one person that could beat me. He could really play. No, he was good. I know, but he was kind of weird about it. No, he was a freak. Yeah, he was a real freak. But he was chatty. Was his girlfriend the one that looked like a Victoria's Secret model? Yes. She kind of looked like, you know, on the Abercrombie thing, the CEO where his face was a little... Yeah, she looked funny. Too much. She was like if that guy was a really, really hot 19-year-old girl. She probably looked bad as hell on the gram, but on the court, eh. Hopefully she's not listening. She definitely isn't listening. What is podcast? Oh, audio-based medium? Very for fun. But yeah, we...

So we played. We hit some balls with. Don't worry. I played in the beginner and the advanced class wearing jorts and a sweatshirt. Jason made it look easy, of course. He had a stunt on all these hoes. But luckily, we knew the instructors. We did a king of the court game. And me and my long-haired bro, JB, we held the court for the longest, of course. Who's JB? I don't know if you saw him. He was kind of shorter. He had long hair. He was wearing a black shirt tucked into his workout shorts. And he was the guy who was slicing. Oh, yes, yes, yes. So he would do drop shots as his first return back on a friendly game. So he's a dickhead. So I was like, stop doing that bullshit. You're a dickhead. I'm friends with him, so we're joking. And then when I got paired with his team, I was like, okay. Let's run it back. Let's get the slice going. And we probably ran through 11, 12. Influencer house. Not in the good way. Oh, I'm sorry. You're saying on the court. I just wanted to make sure. I didn't know what kind of party this was because Oberg's kind of a pure chick. After you left, things changed. The dog was involved. Cashmere was kind of getting in there. Once Olivia Lopez shows up, it's game over. You know what I'm saying? It's game over. Press juice all on the titties. You know what I'm saying? At the Goldstein house, you know, Matt's a mouth. I got press juice on my titties. I got to do a great fake DJ photo. Yeah, people were like, where is this party? I'm like, guys, Jason, do you not notice he's smoking a cigarette indoors and he's making a stupid face? I apologize to the sound guy. I was like, sorry, I'm going to do a photo. That sound guy was very concerned. Well, he was concerned and I found out why. He's like a sound rental guy and he's like, all my setups were rented out. So I had to use my own personal mixer for this thing. But his personal mixer was a... This is going to be DJ talk. It was like a six-channel Function 1 kind of like rotary fader mixer. Like a cool vintage thing? There's two of them made. Oh, shit. Okay, okay. And I was like, yo, what's up with this mixer? There's a Function 1 mixer I've never seen before. He's like, yeah, you know. And he told me the story. I was like, oh, can I take a picture of it? He's like, well, it's kind of not mine. It's Grimes' and I'm like holding it for her. So like if you post it.

And she sees it, then, like, it's my ass. And I was like, all right, I'm going to take a picture of it. But it was a sick-looking message. I like that guy's whole extremely nervous vibe at a party that is so mellow. Like, he looked like he was going to explode from anxiety. He got paid two grand to play Pandora Playlist on his laptop. He's fine. It was a great party. I had a great time. I hit some tennis balls, had a good workout. Food was good. Everybody's nice. It was a great – There was a big golden retriever named Kashmir that would chase the balls around. It was idyllic. It was an idyllic event. I did not have a cigarette or alcohol, and I still enjoyed myself in a social setting. And that's tough for you with the way you operate. And then, I mean – straight from there to the crypto.com arena for the freeway series, the Kings versus the Anaheim Ducks. And I tell you what, thank you to Jordan Berry for setting us up in the box where Jason was able to make some nachos from kind of the catering situation, which I just want to compliment your creativity as well as your palate. So if you could explain what you did for the listeners, I think this would be inspiring. I made a nacho plate, and the base was a rare Cool Ranch Dorito. Now, normally I would never do that. Of course, no, it's crazy. But this was the only chip option I had, so black paper. Plastic plate, of course. Crypto.com arena, they're not sustainable, and that's what I like about them. Plastic plate. Much like Bitcoin, they're using a lot of energy. We're still trying to figure that out. You know, some nacho cheese from the hotel pan chafing dish. Of course. There's obviously a nice skin on top. This was to be used on the hot diggity dogs, but you were... No, I don't know. I mean, there was sour cream as well. So I was led to believe that this was a nacho situation. Oh, I understand. I thought you pulled this out of your little butt. But you're saying to me that maybe they were encouraging this, but no one was willing to take this risk except you. My only question, who puts sour cream on a hot dog? I'm a nasty motherfucker. Yeah, that's a good point. I heard the hot dogs were good. The hot dog was delicious. The bun, it was stale and a little hard. So let's get those buns in the steamer, get a little life into them. After having the juice to baguette, it's tough.

I know. To go to a regular bread. The dog was so good you could hit raw. I know. No bun necessary. I know. Of course, I ate half a bun. I kind of ate around it. Of course. So you made these twisted nachos. Were they good? It was okay. All the food, it's kind of weird because you're in the luxury box at the Staples Center. It's like the most fancy schmancy stadium in America probably. Yeah, but it's still going to be stadium food, baby. They got government contracts. And it felt like this is like. Kind of cafeteria food. Yeah. But, you know, that's what you want in a sports game. What I liked was that Jordan was drinking Kahlua hard coffee all night. Kahlua hard cold brew. And it smelled good as hell. Kahlua's delicious. In the cup. Like, I was like, damn, that smells good. I was able to have two Dasanis and a little bit of a Perrier. I had two Tallboy Stellas, the official lads beer. Mate. For a proper pub piss up. It was like we were on the pitch, but it was cold. But, yeah, I mean, we did leave at the beginning of the third period. I'm not sure who won. No idea. When we left, it was 2-2. When we left, the woman in the VIP elevator was like, we still tied up, and Carolyn and I looked at each other like, yeah? Yeah, yeah. I was going to purchase a jersey for Al. They were $175. I kind of backed off on that. That's tough. That's a little expensive. But, overall, I had a great – that's the – Fun to watch hockey. No, it was really fun. I agree. It was really fun. It moves enough, and the box was in the dead-on middle. It was perfect. You can actually see everything, and it wasn't perched too high, because sometimes that happens. Yeah, I agree. It was a great experience. How much did you pay for parking there? $30. Yeah, me too. I spent a little $30 on parking. But I saw the valet right out front of the VIP entrance, and I was like, if the broke hoe across the street parking is $30, What's that valet hitting for? It's got to be 50 plus. About a certain point, there's a cap on the valet, right? 100 is the cap. 100 is the cap. I don't think that they could charge 100 because I feel like that's official. That's actually crypto.com arena. And they don't want to gouge the locals like that. I'm just saying I was surprised that you didn't valet. I didn't see it. I would have. I mean, look, you valet at Linux and ACL, I think it might be 50 to keep the hellcat up front. Real shit? Real shit.

At least 30, and then you've got to tip 20, I mean, or cheap. You look like a broke hoe. Yeah. You don't want rich homie Quan to out-tip you. Damn. I forgot about Quan. I could never. All right. Well, I think that's it, Chris. The weekend of activation. What a dreamy weekend. It was a great weekend. And luckily for us, there's just more live music to come. You know, I can't. Live music saves lives. Jason and I are on our A&R guy swag, except we dress better and are a lot cooler. But yeah, we're going to see Snail Mail on Wednesday, friend of the show. Let me see. Former guest. People were actually, you know, it's nice to see artists you're actually a fan of. Yeah. As musicians and as actual human being people. Well, that's rare when that combo happens. Yeah. How long gone? Back with more podcasts this week. And that's really it. Yeah, the new merch is in the pipeline. We got a really special shirt for the Toronto show. A couple other things to keep you guys satiated out there in the streets because I know you're thirsty. All right, guys. Thank you very much for listening. I hope you have a beautiful week. Stay blessed. Drink lots of water. Be nice to meet you. It's a truthful vengeance.