455. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? It's Chris Black coming to you live from a sunny but chilly lower manhattan dj them jeans how are you feeling oh who me i'm feeling i i went to see rick our our body work specialist a couple days ago and i just finally am back to normal he really he put his foot in it you know you know when you when you see those videos of those guys who are like in the swamp and then they dive into the murky waters and pull out a catfish from a hole and it's all struggling and writhing around it's slippery of course stinging them I feel like that's what Rick did with the inside of my body. Were you having some specific problems or just the wear and tear of travel, performing, limited exercise, eating terribly, did that kind of just take its toll on you? No, it was just a regular preventative checkup. Basically, I've been doing a lot of rehabilitation stuff, making a lot of progress with my functional movements and functional... patterns of course it's i don't know it's kind of hard to explain but i felt some weird thing where i was like all right i did a lot of stuff and now i'm gonna

hand the keys off to Rick, and maybe he can move the ball across the line, you know? Of course. Not to use a Super Bowl metaphor on Super Bowl weekend. Shout out to Diplo. I know it's tough over there in Scottsdale right now, but just pace yourself, all right? I mean, I saw that Bia took the OVO plane to Arizona, and I was kind of looking for my invite, but it never arrived. So, hold on. Pickle Rick is known for his extremely long sessions. He can go rounds on your body. You would think that he invented sex. I mean, massage. Pickle Rick goes Trey Songz mode on you. He's toxic, but his hands aren't. How long this particular session in that dark apartment in Burbank lasted? Well, when you're dealing with somebody like that. The massage is done when the work is done. You know what I mean? No, of course. I understand that. So this clocked in a little, just a hair over two hours, I would say. That's pretty good because I feel like I've had a hair under three hours, and I was like, all right, let's wrap this up, bro. You had no more tears left to cry, finally, at that three-hour mark. Note to self, that's the song on the episode. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm glad to hear that you've reconnected with Pickle because I found... I told you this. I found a pickle-esque style Chinatown place here in New York where a man named Charlie kind of would laugh at me when my pain was so severe that I had to make a noise. And I kind of liked that. It was a combination of... pain release and negging that was kind of, you know, I hope he didn't see my erection is what I'm saying. Don't let him hear about this over at sniffies.co.uk. That's going to send Ripple. It could shut down the server. Shut down. But yeah, so I'm glad to hear that. So you're feeling rough and ready now? Yeah. Yesterday I was like nauseous. I was like so out of it. Like if you really.

reorganize the organs in my body um okay and and now it's kind of now the i can see clearly now and i'm finally coming out of that haze but yeah i feel good now i'm ready to do a nice weekend pod we're potting on a saturday not a sunday because of uh of super bowl tomorrow i won't have time i'm gonna be so busy in the kitchen Getting supper started for you boys for the big game. Jason's seven-layer dip is a 24-hour process, so he's set back. He also has to hit BevMo to get 165 Coronas to put in the backyard. So I know it's going to be a lot for you. And I hate to be missing a Super Bowl soiree because as a person who obviously... doesn't really care about football. I do like any event, appointment event that brings us together as a society. And I think that this game will do that because this is often the case, I think, with the halftime performance. It brings the gay element to the Super Bowl beyond looking at all those beautiful butts. There is now a 20-minute performance of greatest hits from one of the shining stars of the last, you know, decades of pop music the dolls get 15 at halftime do you think do you think she is going to play your favorite do you think the calvin harris collab will make the cut of course of course i mean that will be that will be you know i don't want to do a drake style prop bet but i think smart money is that will be the finale well that'll be the second song that'll be the second song before the final song i think the final song will end on a little bit more of a quieter note and then We found love will be the kind of, what is the word? Penultimate. Well, what about Throw It Up, Throw It Up? Do you think she'll play that? Yeah, of course. Of course. But that's a mid-tempo banger. No, look, I'm not trying to debate. And then someone's going to come out. There's going to be like...

Some type of troubled youth dance squad is going to come out and do a lit routine choreo for that. And then it will end on a triumphant song. I mean, I don't want to do... It could be Shine Bright Like a Diamond. But that's a little slow. The last time she put out a record, George Bush was in office, so who even knows what it was. I don't want to get into BPM talk with you because obviously I haven't – I mean my knowledge is so limited compared to an expert like you. It's like feeding caviar to a child. What's the point? But it seems like – So you're saying it's going to end on triumphant and somewhere in the middle it'll slow down and we'll maybe get a little ballad, but not stay level ballad. We'll do stay, but not the whole song. It'll be one verse of the melody, but it's such a powerful song to all the survivors out there. It's like a DJ Them Jeans set where you only hear just enough to wet your whistle and then it's on to the next chorus. It's sort of like, now that you say that, it's like the reverse of just the tip. It's like just the... You know, my low-key sleeper Rihanna favorite is Four or Five Seconds featuring Sir Paul McCartney and unfortunately canceled Kanye West. He likes the one Rihanna song for white people. No, it's the one Rihanna song that has a good guitar part. No Rihanna song should have any guitar. I disagree, Jason. We won't get into it. It's a good song. But I'm hoping that she'll put on kind of a denim outfit and give us a couple bars. But I'm thinking because of the situation with... Kanye is probably not going to make the set list. Right, right. She could bring out Paul, but when it's time for Kanye's verse, we'll just... It's a medley, guys. We had to zip in and zip out. It's a perfect crime, if you ask me. She has to bring out someone, right? That's kind of the Super Bowl way, if I remember correctly. She'll bring out multiple people. Hopefully, it is not DJ Khaled.

But because of the blood oath that she has signed, it might be unavoidable. Okay, because I mean... I'm trying to think of the, I mean, I think the great Super Bowl performances, I think we think of Whitney Houston, we think of Prince and the Rain, of course, and Prince would never bring anyone out because he doesn't think anyone is good enough. The only person he brings out is his other ego. Yes, he's got his other ego playing every backup instrument. RIP to the God, the purple one. But I think that in past years, you know, I mean, obviously, I think last year was J-Lo and Shakira Shakira, which was considered a little bit of a flop. You have one person who's an actress. And then you have Shakira, who's great, but she doesn't really have a Shakespearean... level back catalog of bangers she's got three no her catalog slaps yeah her catalog is not deep and that's why they had to share it and j-lo i think j-lo has more slaps than we might realize because i feel like her music is so innocuous that i don't even know it's her yeah but then i'll know the words you know what i mean because it was it was a big radio thing at the time but look i'll be tuning in i'll be tuning in live from new york it might be a cheat day you know what i mean we might order a little pizza or something get get al get al a dozen Get Al a dozen wings. You know what I mean? Extra spicy. I don't know what I'm capable of when it comes to pigskin. I know you live in the East Village of New York City. What's the local wing depot that you normally stop by? You're local. Don't worry. They opened a wing stop in the Lower East Side in a new development. So I could go there. Just for some reason. Get dependable. You know what I mean? It's a New York style. Wing stop wing. Yeah, exactly. New York stop. We do things differently around here. As you know, I haven't had a hot wing since George Bush was in office. So I can't. George Bush Sr. was in office, so I don't really know the local spots. Maybe you can get a Chick-fil-A cauliflower buffalo sandwich. Yeah, I want to talk about this because I know you're a known Chick-fil-A hater. What's to like? Well, their Christian beliefs obviously align with mine. Unfortunately, they are anti-gay marriage, which is something I have to disagree with. The food is mid, and they've donated hundreds of millions of dollars to right-wing anti-gay people.

If the food was good, that'd be one thing. You eat it and it ain't got no seasoning. It's fried chicken for white people. Yeah, but your In-N-Out has Bible verses on the cup, so I'm wondering where their money is getting donated. Just a thought. Oh, I know exactly where it's being donated. It's being donated to their payroll team because some of the highest paid, happiest employees over there at In-N-Out. How much are they making over at Chick-fil-A for that white people wings? Fuck that shit. They don't even have wings. You just got an innocuous... chunk of white flesh this episode of how long gone is brought to you by a new podcast from the guardian stateside with kai and carter this is covering a lot of our bases jason it's a it's trying to slow down The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated.

but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking... Something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled. Over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money.

When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code HOWLONG with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. I don't care about Chick-fil-A at all. I don't care about any of this. The fact that fast food and eating fast food and fast food releases is part of hype beast culture, you know this bothers me deeply because it's disgusting and bad for us as a society, but we just can't help but get excited about a new stuffed crust you eat in reverse from Domino's or, in this case... Well, the problem is food used to be stuff that you eat. to stay alive and to enjoy and now food is a product and now sure just like how long gone everyone wants to talk about products only because that's the only thing we have in this terrible existence that's all we have that's what it is it's either that or we have to talk about like chat gpt so i'm but i'd rather talk about chicken sandwiches i'm gonna do that it's actually doing some pretty crazy stuff have you tried it though dude because it's like accurate So Chick-fil-A, something that obviously I grew up with as a former Atlanta resident. It's part of our culture. I've been to the original location. As a husky, huh? The original? The original, which is called the Dwarf House because it has a small door. It's not called Graceland. It's called Greaseland. Yeah, and you're able to go there. Greasy ass. I've never built with Truett Cathy himself because I don't go to church, but I think that's where you can kind of find him. The owner of Chick-fil-A's name is Truett Cathy. Kathy? Yeah, yeah. Speechless. Also, the fact that I just know this off the dome is dark. It's dark. But they've released, they're finally getting into a vegetarian offering with a cauliflower.

chicken sandwich is that correct that's that is correct and it does sound interesting i'll try it i mean it's not as interesting as when popeyes dropped the sandwich but you know okay but is it spicy is it regular like what is the is there any is it is it just meant to be the vegetarian kind of option that they offer or is there anything special about it i mean does chick-fil-a have anything spicy on the menu You know what I mean? Metaphorically speaking. No, I don't think I don't actually know because I haven't been inside one in 25 years. But I feel like they probably have had some advancements in the menu. But the reason they just have toxic Polynesian sauce, whatever that the reason to go to Chick-fil-A is for the waffle fry. And I think that is really – this is going to get vegetarians through the door because they're going to be able – you can't – because going somewhere and getting fries and a milkshake is obviously disgusting stoner behavior. But if you're able to get a sandwich and your peach milkshake, then it's a little bit more of a coup. I mean it's just – it's making me feel like a vegan old head where it's like back in my day. I used to eat french fries for dinner because that's all we had at Wendy's. No, no. And now you pussy motherfuckers have some things called nuggets with like a trademark symbol on it. It's called nugs. It's called nugs. Yeah, I mean, I don't. But I wonder if this worked for Burger King when they released their Beyond Whopper. Because the Whopper and the level of char and the style of cookery that goes into it. I do, like, remember that. Like, I have a nice sense memory of a Whopper, weirdly, even though I didn't eat them that often. Interesting. So the Beyond Whopper appeals to me more than the cauliflower chicken. Yeah, I agree with that. Real heads know about Chick-fil-A that the best, it's breakfast. Yeah, sure. Of course. Breakfast at Chick-fil-A. They have a beautiful... medallion-style hash browns that are the best thing there. And then, of course, the classic Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit. which is superior to the sandwich because a biscuit, obviously Southern Delicacy, that's something they can specialize in. Sounds like we're both a couple of little hungry boys today on How Long Gone I Like It. Well, you know, I think I can't wait to sit in your brand new certified pre-owned Mercedes for [redacted address] waiting to try a cauliflower chicken sandwich. Nothing says...

Welcome back to L.A. like that, Jason. And I'll make sure to get you a large Dr. Pepper because I know you're feeling like a real bad boy. That sounds good, but you must have me fucked up if you think I'm going to wait in line at Chick-fil-A. I'm going to hire my assistant to go do that or something. Well, you can't be seen. If PETA caught you there, it would be kind of a bad look for you. Well, don't worry. There's one in Burbank, too. So after Pickle Rick beats you up, you could kind of get some sustenance. That one's really popping. I can't even find parking for the coffee shop because there's too many people getting chicken. Yeah, you also, speaking of food, Chris sent me an article. from from eater.com you should be saving your rice water yeah like the rice that you use to wash the water you use to wash your rice with and i was like damn is this article from the year 532 like who's really it does feel like a bc type beat um i have not um i don't even understand what that means obviously so i'm a little confused okay so basically when you when you get rice before you cook it it's it's customary to to wash it Because it'll have some kind of dirt and impurities and just kind of like general random shit on there that will sort of make the rice a little muddled and not perfectly clean or whatever. So you kind of give it a few rinses. If you watch Jiro Dreams of Sushi, there's like guys that train for like years or like maybe 10 years just learning how to wash the rice perfectly before they're even allowed to make sushi. Like it's a very serious process for a lot of people. and they're saying that one should save the rice water because you can use it sort of in the way that pasta water is used when you're finishing a pasta. Is this something you will try, or do you think this is one of the stupidest things you've ever heard? It's one of those things like when you're straining something or whatever. You have a thing of water that you need to dump out, and if you're feeling... guilty or i don't know like if you if you have like a david chang level guilt inside of you then you might take that thing of water and go out to the backyard and dump it on the on the plants or something instead of just pouring it down the sink you know what i mean oh i see okay so i think if you have this spent rice water then if you go and dump it on your plants in the backyard it might you know give some micronutrients or something like that that

Help it grow better. Help it grow good. I don't know. I'm waiting. Okay. Okay. Cut through some of the fluoride that Joe Biden's been putting in our water. I'm waiting for rice water to make an appearance in a cool, well-designed bottle. And then I'm able to drink that for $7. It'll be WTR. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I mean, R-C-E-W-T-R. Oh, you don't drink rice water? I mean, when Blackwater dropped... How are you literally standing? When Blackwater dropped, I was skeptical, but rice water... I forgot about Blackwater. Rice water has legs, I think. This goes with our Palm Wonderful discussion. It's the fallen... We must fly our flag at half-mast for all the fallen DTC beverages that we've lost along the way. And I think that rice water could kind of get that flag up the pole. You know, if we really kind of thought through this one. Rice water is my seed oil antidote. I think that anything we can do to combat the seed oil takeover of our cursed country and oat milk becoming the default, not a choice, but merely the only choice. It's disturbing where this country is going. In many ways. Hold the line, brothers. In many ways. Yeah, in many ways. This is disgusting. When I tried to talk to that barista in Stockholm about seed oils, and she looked at me like I was a fucking maniac. I knew that we had... I think I said this, though. Stockholm is the home of Oatly. That's where Oatly was invented. So that's like going down to your mama's house and talking mess on Chick-fil-A. Yeah, it's like telling my mom that Coca-Cola doesn't taste good. Um, it's not, it's not, it's not acceptable. So in Stockholm, they said you could take your little ass on. They did. And even though the girl, this barista that was acting like I was insane, interestingly from California. So I was a little bit like, I don't, you know, I don't. You said, I just think it's fear. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what I said to her. Um, that's exactly what I said. Uh, well, I had a, I had a kind of a, a big night on the town.

Last night, Jason. I don't know. Did you go out last night? Actually, no. I went out the night before, but last night was just a rest and recharge night. You know what I mean? Get my beauty sleep. Okay. Okay, I'm glad to hear that. I'll tell you all about it in a little bit. But I want to hear about your big night out on the town. What gala was it? It wasn't. Colleen Estrada after a party? What was happening? No, I didn't go to the animals parade. But a friend of the show, Nicolo, had an art opening. So I went to that and linked up with some friends there. And then Jacob and his buddy. took us to Odeon. Who's Jacob? Jacob's my friend that I work with. You know him. You've met him before. Very good looking. Jacob Price. I didn't know if you were talking about Gallagher or who knows. I know a lot of Jacobs. I know a lot of Jacobs. It's actually interesting because this Jacob, Jacob Price is the only one I refer to by Jacob because he didn't try to switch it up later in life. He didn't do the thing where he goes by Jake and then switches it up to Jacob when he wants to be taken seriously. Can you guys call me Steven now? Yeah. No, I mean, honestly, though, it gets like that. It gets like that. It does. Okay, so you went to Odeon with Sexy Jacob. With Sexy Jacob, and Alex met us, and it was just a heavy room last night. Okay. It was a heavy room last night. When you say heavy, you mean in terms of... Star power or BMI or just the barometric pressure? What's going on? I did have some fries. It was me, Jacob, his friend Kevin Lombardo, and Alex at the table. Next to us was another table with Mary-Kate and a few other friends that I know. But then in the corner at a large table, a friend of the show, Ian Bradley, DJ Ross won his wife Harley. Heavy room. Recent guest Alexa Chung. And then in sashayed Imrata. In sashayed. She sashayed into the room and I took notice and I was like, okay, Imrata's at the table. I had already been over there to say what's up to Ian and Alexa and Raw, etc. You said, it's happening. Yeah, so I was like, let me, you know what, I'm going to enjoy my...

Oysters and shrimp cocktail. We had an L.A. style meal last night. Oysters and shrimp cocktail? That's an L.A. style meal. Alex was like, I'm craving an L.A. style meal because we've been eating at real restaurants for so long in New York that I haven't had a bunless burger and french fries in a minute. So I approach the table. Once we're leaving, I go over to say bye. You didn't touch the table, did you? I touched the table. I said, hey, Emily, I'm Chris. I'm Chris. talked before about you coming on How Long Gone because podcasts really benefit from cross-promotion. She was like, yeah, for sure. We have to do it. We should totally do it. Totally, yeah. She said to me, she looked me in the eye and she said to me, I've heard you talking about my new relationship. Damn. Which one? And I said, well, I think you need to come on to How Long Gone and kind of set the record straight, and she agreed with me. Oh, sure. So I'm kind of – I'm threading the needle because I think that we're the perfect platform for Emily to kind of talk about where she's at. Okay. And we give her space to do that. We'll give her space for her and Eric to – Yeah. Lay it all out. Because I'm just sick and tired of page six and all these other rumor mongers kind of spreading lies. Misinformation, honestly. I think it's us as podcasters. We must help other podcasters. You know, we kind of have to stick together. Allyship. Yeah, allyship. And I think this is a great opportunity for us to do that. So hopefully, you know, we're going to see. I've been chatting today, but we'll see if we can confirm a time and place with her. So I was. It was a big night. Her schedule's probably loco, so good luck. Her schedule's loco during Fashion Week, obviously. She's closing shows. She's opening shows. I mean, it's honestly, how do you find time? How do you find the time to open and close? Grand opening, grand closing. HGH? I don't know. It was a big night out in Manhattan, and then we're going to Ella Imhoff has her show tonight. I'm calling it Ella Chela.

Which has a nice ring to it, I think, if I do say so myself. So, yeah, Ella does rhyme with Ella, so that is smart to do that. Yeah, exactly. I've got bars, okay? This is my mixtape. His mind, you know? But then Tom Brown's on Tuesday. We got Tory Burch on Monday. It's a nonstop New York Fashion Week. Tory Burch on Monday, too? Wow. Well, I saw Pookie last night, and she was like... I think you should come to Tori's show. And I said, yeah, I think so too. Say less, Pookie. Yeah, it's nothing for me to go see my hero do what she does best. A beautiful genius leader of a CEO. Your Phoebe. A CEO, yeah, exactly. You guys get all excited about your little Phoebe comeback. Meanwhile, Tori's been grinding the whole time. Just doing her fucking thing. Chris said, Pookie greater than Phoebe. In terms of... P names that go E. I don't think, unfortunately, the Phoebe Philo announcement of her return, I'm worried that she's in one of those, she's backed into one of those corners where she has no choice. Like she can't deliver. Like there's no way. Like Rihanna in the Super Bowl. Honestly, like there's no way she can deliver at the level people are expecting her to. So it's going to be that weird thing where everybody, it's either. It's either mid and people pretend to like it because they've wrapped their entire identity in liking Celine for the last five years without her around. Somebody is brave enough to come out and say, this is actually mid. Or it could be great. I think it's going to be somewhere in the middle where you get one of my favorites. It's really good for. And then you sort of add. Sometimes, you know, like for further aid, you know, they're really hot for their age or they're really sure. It was really impressive considering that they just recovered from an injury or something like that. You know, there could be some type of qualifier going on. No, I mean, I think that's true. I think the world wants Phoebe's hands were tied. You know, I think the world wants it to be good so bad that it just will be. But I do think that like I know what you mean. It's unbelievable. White women that have American Express credit card debt. It was the biggest day. It was the biggest day of their life. They were like.

I can finally stop. I can finally turn off on my eBay and real, real alerts. There's probably going to be new stuff for me to buy. I don't think hashtag old Celine will ever lose its luster, of course. But I do think that this, it's strange with a comeback. I mean, it's the same thing with musicians, right? It's like you could, you can either add to and extend your legacy or you can absolutely tarnish it. in one fell swoop yeah that's true yeah i mean i was joking about the similarities between rihanna and and the phoebe but now i'm starting to feel like maybe there are there are i mean like with rihanna's album that's been delayed for 11 years there's she's probably feeling that same thing of like there's no way people are gonna really there's no way you know i mean same thing for like avatar and all these other things where it's like The deck is stacked against you so much. It's really stacked. I mean, Rihanna, there are some similarities because I think that they both kind of went out at the top of their game, let's say. And I think that Rihanna is teasing music by saying I'm down to do something weird, which is her protecting herself, basically, by being like, I'm going to put out my little Yachty album and you guys aren't going to get it. And that's going to save me from it being like... bad almost sure you know um which is i mean it's not a bad idea but also i think that rihanna it's it's she she's fucked herself she took too long yeah the real releasing your yachty album is like the like a master cleanse like it's nobody's gonna have fun doing it it's gonna suck but i just had to get it out of my system so i can go back to eating chick-fil-a or whatever it feels sometimes like the get out of my deal you know what i mean Oh, right, right, right. You're like, all right, I'm going to put out, I got something for you. Yeah, you know what I mean? And it's just total. I'm going to release seven albums this year. Suck on that. Yeah, exactly. I got seven records in me. I'll be out of this deal, and then we're going to renegotiate. That's what it kind of feels like. But Rihanna's backed into a corner. The Charlie method. Phoebe's backed into a corner. DJ Them Jeans not backed into a corner.

Thank God. And you're able to release remixes whenever you want. And I want you to know that from a fan and a friend and a co-worker. My Substack and my Beatport are booming. Thanks to everyone for supporting. You guys are my rocks. No, I mean, I'm deep in Valentine's Day zone over here in Cali. Tonight will be my third Valentine's Day. activation of the week. Jesus Christ, dude. Honestly, man, I can't do it. It's not even a real holiday. I guess it's a reason to have a party. I saw you went to one of Pia and Davide's pasta fests. That was one of them. That was a Valentine's Day activation, even though... I was the only one wearing pink. Okay, so you pulled your Victoria's Secret out of the storage. No, pink the color, not the brand. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you maybe, because I know they make sweatpants for the WNBA chicks that say pink on the butt. Can you imagine? Oh, damn. That would be sick. If you wore that to a Valentine's Day party, it's pretty funny. Finally, some dick sucking pants that fit me. So that, I did see, I mean, I always see pasta content, obviously from these events, but that pasta did look particularly good to me. I have to say. So if you could kind of walk us through what that looked like. Well, first of all, the Gucci Osteria, that was... Oh, I forgot. Impromptu V-Day number one. Okay, Jason's... Okay, Jason, this is the most... I've never... Jason hates spending money, as you guys all know. He's a known kind of cheapskate. And you spent... I want to know the total. Pull up the MX app on your phone and let me know what the total was. at gucci osteria because i was stunned stunned at the total shocked well i mean much much like gucci clothing you're paying for the the name not the uh quality and craftsmanship okay um all right february 7th gucci 858 $59. All right, so Jason spent $858 on a meal at a high-end retail store. This isn't Noma. This isn't Le Bernardin. This isn't Gramercy Tavern. This is not...

This is not even... Well, it's not inside the Gucci store. It's above it. Okay, yeah, I know. Thank you. I know it's in the same building. Just because it's above it does not mean it's metaphorically above it. So you spent $858 at the Gucci store on some tiny bowls of pasta is what I'm guessing. But you did mention that the bread service was to die for. Do you think that's worth $500 alone? No. It was a tasting menu, which is not anything that you and I really grasp for or run towards. It's always a tricky business, and I think it kind of delivered. They have three different menus. One of them was called Cali State of Mind and was offering whimsical California-inspired cuisine. Did not get that one, just got the standard tasting menu, but it was all definitely... Quite good. I was really not expecting it to be good. How many courses? I'd probably say eight to ten. And you couldn't afford the wine pairing, right? The wine pairing, I could not afford. That would have added another three hundo plus tax and included gratuity to that. So that would probably push me into the twelve hundo range. So you guys just had... You guys just had some... Had a couple cocktails. I had one martini. A couple peronis. Yeah, keep these heinies coming, guys. No, we had like a couple glasses of wine each, so we didn't get the full tasting wine pairing situation, but... That would have just been overloaded like way too much. How much, and just one other quick question, how much was the valet? Valet was only 15, with validation from Gucci Australia, of course. Okay, so with the tip, you're getting out of there. Well, knowing you, you probably asked for five ones, and you gave the guy 18 instead of 20, but I guess that's fine after spending $8.58 on the meal. No, no, no, it was a solid.

Solid 2-0, don't worry. So what out of the eight courses that I'm sure dragged on that felt like a fucking Berlin marathon, what was your favorite? What really stuck with you besides the bread basket? At any restaurant, if the bread and butter is really good, it's always going to be the best thing on the menu. And it was especially good because when you have a tasting menu, it's like the chef decided to bring out these little things and it's like a bowl full of like, seeds or like unpopped popcorn or like rock seeds seeds and broth on rocks it's always just a bowl full of rocks or salt or pine cones or unpopped kernels or whatever and then two little bites on top of it those we had some of those some amuse bushes it was like a little rolled up taco and like a little parmesan crisp thing but the bread and butter like and here's our bread and butter and The butter was shaped in the form of a Gucci B, and it had some B pollen on top of it, perfectly soft, super yellow. They make their own bread, and the bread was just like, something about it was just too good. And then when you're at a tasting menu, it's like, here's the little bread bite, and then now we're going to pour some fucking broth from an oyster shell into... How many? Hold on, hold on. What's the edible flour count in the total meal? Zero. Zero? Okay, that's good. Okay, that's good. How many of the eight dishes, not including the bread, obviously, do you think tweezers were used in the kind of building? Half. Half of them. Okay. Okay, so four of eight required tweezers. Actually, maybe less. Maybe only like two or three. How many things were in a broth? Um, only one thing was in a broth, but, but a couple things were in like, um, there was some type of white thick foam sauce on top of it. So like there was one dish that was sort of like, um, it was like a potato foam that was covering like a quail egg and some caviar. So when they hand it to you, there's like a bowl full of caviar and quail egg and all this crazy stuff. But on top of it is just white. It's just a bowl, a white bowl with white.

So it's like super minimal. It makes you wonder. Then you put your spoon in there, and then the caviar comes out, and you're like, ooh. Or the final dish, which was probably my favorite one, was like this wagyu short rib that was covered in a zabayon sauce, which is like a thick kind of savory egg custard kind of thing. I've never been to that. Is that the place next to Salazar where the bands play, or is that something different? That's Zebulon. So close, Chris. That was pretty good. Oh, my bad. My bad. I'm sorry. My bad. Okay. But they had two dishes where it was just like white plate. white foam and then you have to dig in to go inside which which is fine i guess but it's a little i think a menu should only have one of those styles they gave you two air force one dishes instead of just instead of just one but but they're like we would they would drop the bread and butter and you'd eat the bread and be like it's so fucking good and then they come by and they're like you want some more bread and i'm like sure like it was or and then they would just like bring you like you don't have to be like oh can we Can we get actually some more butter? I'm so sorry. They just see it, and they just drop it. I could have eaten two loaves of this bread, and they would have happily given it to me. Okay, so when you pay $8.50 for an eight-course tasting menu at the Gucci store in Beverly Hills, they do give you bread, is what you're saying, and they keep it coming. Bottomless. It's like the Cheddar Bay Biscuits at Red Lobster. It's bottomless. So you're saying the Gucci Osteria has an Olive Garden style bread program as far as the frequency and consistency? Mm-hmm. They want you to fill up on the bread, I guess. So you don't feel any remorse, spender's remorse, like maybe the time we went to Mother Wolf and got fleeced for $600 each. You don't feel any of that. You feel like it was worth the money and you're proud. to spend fuck no okay okay so you okay definitely not i mean it's when is it ever worth the money nothing is worth the money that's the problem um except experiences of course i never have any of the like once once the when you're making a large purchase it's just like well that happened and there's no real point like the way that my brain works is just like i've already gone to the end of the conversation that you have with yourself

And we're done. There's no need to be like, oh, well, I shouldn't have done that. Well, here's the problem, Jason. You've never been surfing in Bali, and that's why you'll never understand when spending works. You know what I mean? You need to get out of the money. Expand on that, Chris. I just think you need to look at experiences a little more. When you saw Big Ben for the first time, I bet you felt something. You were like, this plane ticket was worth the money. I was floored. I was floored. You were floored. You're like, that is a big-ass clock. Thank you, babe. This is really cool. But I think that when you're exchanging money for food, no matter how much you like food, you're right. It can only be so good. I don't think it's going to transform your life to pay $900 for some pasta. It made me feel – I mean, actually, we did talk about it afterwards, and it was mostly in any situation like that when you are in a position of privilege because of – Okay, relax. Being a Nepo baby or because of being just a hard worker who's dope at their job, it was more of just like, hey, isn't it awesome that we can just do that and we don't have to eat Top Ramen for the next month or our kid doesn't have to go to a public school if we had a kid because we decided to eat at the Gucci store or something. I would rather eat Top Ramen to be honest with you. I mean, I don't think that the experience would be as good. but I do think that I would be as satisfied. This is not a joke. Like, I think that I would truly be like, I feel fine. Like, I don't think that, like, the experience is different and the sensations are different, but I think the satisfaction I would feel might be similar. Yeah, well, you know, food is not your love language the way it is for me. Food is your... death grip perhaps no but i think you could i think you might be the same way like i think you could feel just as satisfied from something that is much much cheaper and considered del taco yeah i just maybe not top ramen

Yeah, maybe not Top Ramen, but you know what I mean. I know what you mean. The sentiment is like I think that what you're paying for – From a Jimmy John's sandwich. Well, definitely, Jimmy. That's no question, especially if you get chips. It's crazy, dude. But I think that the point is, though, that what you're paying for at this place is more the experience, is the reality. Because I'm sure the service was amazing. I'm sure the flatware in China was incredible. I'm sure everything tastes great, but it's more about the whole thing. Yeah, and unfortunately nowadays it's also more about – You know, taking a selfie in the full-length mirror with the Gucci wallpaper in the background as a flex, which, surprisingly, very dirty mirror. Absolutely needed to be cleaned. Jason, everybody can improve on something, and our friends over the Gucci. The hostess had one job. The Gucci Osteria could get some Windex. Okay, well, let's move into pasta number two. that I was asking about what was going on. I think it's very hard. I just imagine that it's hard to cook pasta well for a large group. That seems difficult to me. It is. Honestly, it sounds like a nightmare. But you're saying this pasta you had at some sort of event space in Los Angeles, made with barrancini olive oil, of course, was delicious. Yeah, and shout out to Pia and Davide for hosting a delicious dinner event is this place called the olive atelier they had the pasta where they use the big parmesan parmesan wheel you know what i mean that big kind of like two foot wide wheel of parmesan that probably costs a thousand dollars and yeah instead of finishing a pasta in a pan you finish it in this parmesan wheel and it you know picks up the cheesy flavor i always thought it was a bunch of bullshit like a novelty showy thing and there's no way that It seems like a waste and a disrespect of disrespecting such an amazing ingredient that takes months or years to make. But it really did deliver. He did a cacio e pepe in it, and it was cooked by this pizza restaurant called La Mora. Yeah, yeah. It's very good. It's very, very good. But I had only had their frozen pizza or some shit probably.

The guy from Lamora was there making that pasta and all the salads, and it was all really fucking good. Amazing Caesar, amazing bread and butter. I think maybe it was Bubba and Grandma's, but all in all, I was quite impressed with it. I had multiple servings of it, amazing meatballs. Fantastico. I did some indoor cigar smoking. Okay, wow. So while I've been starving myself to fit into these samples for Tori on Monday, you've been carb-loading over in L.A. celebrating Valentine's Day. What is the third event? Is this the Director's Bureau party tonight? Hosted by... is the director's bureau executive executive producer chris chang yeah and the poor guy he's got to go to japan the very next morning so he's got to like stay up and do an all-nighter and then go to the lax oh at like five in the morning pray for chang what is the um okay what's going on this party you have to wear a costume are you dressing up like cupid or anything no i think you just have to dress up as uh you know a sexy uh sexy baby or something you know okay i think i'll just have a No problem. Business as usual for me, but yeah, we actually went over there. We went over there yesterday, the Pacific Tote Company. We're going to do a How Long Gone Pacific Tote collab. A couple pieces, we were just there finalizing it, not unlike the way Tory Burch would maybe finalize some of the samples for some handbags or flats. Yeah, we're doing a tote bag with the Pacific Tote Company, the Coppola-owned company. I feel like this summer we're going to get the photo of Sophia kind of deplaning with some of her notebooks and inspiration for her next film kind of in the How Long Gone tote. Do you think that's a possibility? Is that that crazy for me to think? When Shorty deplanes? Oh, man. Oh, baby. Don't get me started. I'm excited. Yeah, we're making a tote and a little pouchy for those of you who don't need a big tote or don't make any money. So we're going to have both of those on offer in the near future. High quality products. The best, honestly. The best. They cost money. I don't know what to tell you. But yeah, it's a tote bag I use all the time whenever I travel. It's rock solid, super strong brass zippers and stitching and canvas construction. This thing could...

survive a plane crash not jason saying construction we have to move on um the only jason the kind of construction you can talk about is fucking drywall let's let's keep this um i we need to talk about some breaking news um with uh former friend of mine jeffrey star are you guys former friends i didn't know that i i did spend some you and jay money i spent some time with jay money back in the warp tour days She was a fixture on the Warped Tour circuit. She was turning out straight emo guys like it was her job. Was she a she even back then? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So back when she was only a Coke dealer still identifying. Exactly, a Coke dealer with great nails. Jeffrey has been teasing a relationship with an NFL player, showing some hand-holding, showing... both of them holding firearms. They took a selfie in front of a mirror that had a 9mm with a silencer on it on the counter of the bathroom, which seems a little extreme, a little normal activity. Just some classic Mikey MDC behavior. So the cosmetic mogul has been teasing fans and upsetting NFL wives since the season ended, hinting at a romance with a pro football player. And so today it comes out that it's some guy named Taylor Lewin, a veteran offensive lineman. Taylor Lorenz? Taylor Lorenz is dating Jeffrey. Sorry, Taylor Lewin. But apparently this was all just a ploy to promote a new podcast. Damn, that was some sick marketing there. Sick marketing. Jeffrey and Taylor made the big reveal Friday two days before the Super Bowl, and Jeffrey hopped on Taylor's podcast, Bussin' with the Boys. Bussin' with the Boys? Bussin' with the Boys. So I guess... I guess Jeffrey is going to have a podcast with this guy, and they've been faking or teasing a romantic relationship featuring weapons and bad hair dye. to kind of promote the podcast. So it was making me think. So are they faking it, or are they teasing it? Is it real, or has this all just been a joke, marketing trick? I believe it was a marketing trick. I mean, he might have hit a few times, you know what I mean, to solidify the relationship. I don't want to speculate, obviously. But it seems like, so I guess my question is, you know, what are we, we have to step our promotional game up. Like, I need, I don't know what we can do, like, I don't know what we can do to kind of

compete with these celebrities who can we be bussing with but well these celebrities come to move the chains like yeah like taylor has these celebrities keep coming for our jobs how can we compete with someone like jeffrey star i mean i i just don't know what we can do i don't know i i don't know what we can do i i mean it's like between jason bateman and jeffrey star what the fuck what is how long gone supposed to do well i think you know the target demographic of of a Jeffree Star person or just, you know, toxic people who work at the mall. So it's not really... It's not really affecting our bottom line, I don't think. Jason, that's not true. I want Sephora employees everywhere to listen to How Long Gone. Don't do that. Oh, it's not. No, no. These are people who got turned down at the Mac counter and have to work at Wetzel's. Those are the people who are really riding. Okay, okay. Not because they're bad workers, just simply because of their previous criminal record or whatever. Okay, yeah. No, there's definitely a few shoplifting charges and maybe a possession not intent to distribute, but that's just because they had done it. a lot of it already so the huffing community doesn't even know how to use podcasts so okay so you think we're safe you think we're okay you think we're safe okay you know you they know youtube so it's a little tricky that's why all those people have to have video podcasts yeah no you're right the video podcast yeah you're right i'm a little i'm a i was just feeling the heat a little bit but thank you for kind of reassuring me the cream rises to the top don't worry i know you we know jason you're creamy you've said it in print um I've also been checking out some... There was a lot of good new music this week, and it's giving me hope that guitar music truly could be returning. You're talking about Kalela? I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about... There's a band called Narrowhead, and it sounds like Texas is the reason Sunday Day Real Estate, and it's really good. And I was like, damn, this is slapping. And then there's another band called Crushed that sounds kind of like a little trip-hoppy. It's something that you might really like, and it's also really good. And I'm just kind of like, it's making me feel positive. It's making me feel like...

Like, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Okay, I've never heard of either of those bands. Yeah, it's two things that you might like. It's two things that you might like. And, I mean, I wasn't going to mention the new Yola Tango because you probably wouldn't like that. But I just wanted to put those on your radar because I've been really... I heard it's their best album in the last 40 years. Okay, well, honestly, it's great. And they have been around for quite a long time, much like you. So maybe you should show them a little more respect. No, I mean, I literally heard that their new album is the best album in 40 years. Did you hear that from Pitchfork or your brother, Chris? I saw it online somewhere. I don't remember. It was probably from like... a music journalist's Twitter account or something like that. Yeah, it's definitely Steve Hyden material on Twitter. I'm sure Yola Tango is good. I just don't have the time for that kind of music, you know? No, I understand. I understand. There's so much ambient music to listen to that you really can't tell the difference between. I totally understand not having time for 40-year-old guys, 50-year-old guys with guitars. That's why I like it. When you can't tell the difference between it, that's when your third eye actually unlocks. No, that's a good point. I have to give you props on that. I agree with you. So tonight for this event, do you have to dress up or is it casual? I think it would be a little casual dressy. Nothing too crazy. But I don't want to go too wild because of Super Bowl tomorrow. But I really don't want to do the Super Bowl thing where you just drink. 11 beers over the course of an afternoon, and you just feel awful, you know? So the good people over at Space Tea dropped off, you know, 50 things of mushroom hibiscus tea. So you're combining your love with low-dosage psychedelics with your love for NFL football. This is cool. You might be the only person doing this. You've really found a nice line to tow. I don't know.

Drinking is cool, but I don't feel the need to drink inside my own house that much. I usually will only drink when I'm out and I need a little social lubricant for my anxiety. Shut the fuck up. It's true. Bitch, you do not have anxiety. Shut the fuck up. Well, if I'm at a table having dinner or drinks with a bunch of people, I'm much more at ease once I've got... couple martoonies in me you know what i mean of course no no of course i mean i think that's that's true for true for most people i have anxiety just like everyone everyone has anxiety chris come on okay all right dr tj um well i mean i think the super bowl so what is on the so i'm gonna do mush i'm gonna do some a little bit of mushrooms i'm gonna wash okay and i love i'm watching for the commercials. Okay. Of course. I know you're a big ad age guy and you can't wait for the breakdown of which celebrities did the, which commercials. I know that's the most important kind of wrap up for you. Oh yeah. There's nothing late. There's nothing lamer than agency guys discussing commercials from the Superbowl. It makes me insane. Yeah. And it's a bummer once you like follow the Aldo's accounts on social media. And I've, I've already seen every Superbowl ad that's going to run like every time. The guy from Breaking Bad is going to do a crazy thing where he eats cereal for Geico or something. Don't bring up Bryan Cranston when he's riding high off his kith campaign, okay? I'm not going to let you do that to the legendary actor Bryan Cranston, who I said today on Twitter looks like the guy in front of you at Maru who's ordering a matcha. They really have – these actors, like, do you not have a – I guess the problem is – They have kids, and the kids think this stuff is cool and tell them to do it. Whereas I would hope the kid would be like, Dad, don't do this. This is fucking whack. But the kid's probably like, I get kith for free for the rest of my life. This is sick. Yeah, for sure. And you don't care that your dad, who's whatever, 59 years old, is dressed like a guy who sells fake watches on TikTok. Yeah, he's got the Richard Milley for the low-low, if you know what I mean. I don't have papers, but...

Trust me, it's legit. No box, no paper. I was actually talking to this guy, Mike Nouveau, who you probably know, who's a watch dealer now, who's blown up on TikTok. A fellow ex-DJ turned influencer. He was like, box and papers are fake. No one actually cares about that. He's like, it's a controversial opinion, but no one actually cares. If you want something, you're going to fucking buy it. Sure, sure, sure. I mean, depending on why you're buying the watch, I guess if you're buying it purely as an investment, you might want it because... The person buying it from you next might demand it, but if you just like the watch, I don't give a fuck about the papers. What am I going to do? No, I think it's a little bit of a thing that people say, but I think they'll live without it if they want something bad enough, which I understand. Yeah, because people act like if the watch doesn't have the paperwork or the original box, then it is 1,000% fake, as if it's not possible that a watch that's 30 years old, could have maybe had the paperwork misplaced. Do you still have the warranty manual from the microwave that you bought in 2009? No, no one keeps stuff like that. It's clutter, Jason. We're always trying to declutter our lives. Especially after Sarah Jane Ho's podcast. I've been really trying to declutter. I know, I know. I learned so much from Sarah Jane. I can't wait to ask her etiquette questions whenever I feel like it. I'm going to just start. kind of texting her whenever I have a quandary to kind of keep my life on track. Also, speaking of that, she did drag me about when she said butter knife is for butter, Jason, in reference to slicing, of formally eating a banana with a knife and fork, slicing open the peel, and then cutting it open. If you Google that task on your computer or phone, the majority of the photos are people using a butter knife to do it. Well, it doesn't mean, it doesn't mean that these other losers did it, did it, did it right. It's, it's very possible that a lot of people did it wrong. I'm going to take her word over yours and Google honestly, in this case. Okay. Well, no shots. I mean, you know, I just, Oh, no, that's fine. That's fine. I'm, I'm secure with my opinions. Okay. I feel dope. I feel dope. All right. How long gone?

Thank you guys for listening. We're back with more podcasts next week, thank God. And we have some great guests lined up, someone that I've been trying to talk to since I was in high school. So we're looking very forward to next week. For all my people that listen to music that they play in grocery stores, it's going to be a big week for you at Hello Gone. And speaking of, Mikey, I'm actually off in a couple hours to go get... fitted for a custom suit, finally. That's great. Which criminal is he taking you to? Which mafioso location? His name is Mr. Lin. He's in Koreatown. I think he took John Early there a couple weeks ago for a fitting as well. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, so you're not... Okay, I'm just glad you're not going to the back room of an Italian restaurant somewhere, you know. I wish. This is... Yeah, you're like, I want some Oz sticks with my fitting. This is... This is better. I can't wait. It's going to look great, and Mikey knows what he's talking about, so I think you're going to... Unfortunately for you, or fortunately for you, you can only go custom, so it's nice that you have a shaman to help you, because there's a lot of choices to be made. It's kind of confusing, I think, so he'll lead you down the right path. Yeah, the amount of decision fatigue when I'm picking out my double-breasted old brother. But also, quick shout out to, speaking of custom made, to the shoe company Morjas. Oh, yeah. M-O-R-J-A-S. They blessed me with three pairs of custom shoes. Three? Well, I guess once they're making the 17 last, they're like, all right, fuck it, bro. What else do you want? No, you sent me the one pair of the nice kind of like pebble leather brogue. It was looking very nice. Thank you. I'm excited that you have some real shoes now because, you know. I've seen you wear Converse to a funeral, and, you know, sometimes that doesn't go over well. So I'm glad I'm glad you stepped up. I don't know. I don't know any better. I know. It's okay. It's charming when you do it. If I did it, they would kick me out. All right. Thank you. How long gone? We'll talk to you guys next week.