386. - Paul Reiser

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts. or watch on YouTube. All right. How long gone? Sunday morning live from Glendale. It's already 100 degrees. It is global warming is real, at least in Glendale. It's much cooler over in beautiful West Hollywood. Much is a strong word. You know, five to ten degrees makes a difference in this kind of high temp situation. It totally does. It totally does. But yeah, it's a Sunday. It's God's Day. It's also TJ's birthday. That's right. Well, God's Day, that's what I meant. It's Jason's birthday. He's turning, I think, 51. How old? Next question. Okay, we're not going to talk about age. We don't like to be ageist on this podcast, so that's good. Yeah, we went to a friend of the show, Ryan O'Connell's birthday yesterday, and it was his 40th birthday, a.k.a. gay. What was it? I'm turning 36, a.k.a. gay 40. Yes. I didn't know how old he was turning. So I turned gay. I turned gay 49. Ryan's birthday was really well appointed. Go on. Well, he just had like spa water. Like the spread was literally like quarter sheets, pizza, and all. and the cake, and all the, like, booze and shit, but then he had multiple... With all of the natty wines. But he had multiple spa water jugs. Like, one was lemon, you know, and then one had multiple fruits. He got it from the things from Amazon, and this one is... Yeah, it was nice. This one's bloat orange from Cookbook. It was nice. This one's kumquat and lavender sage. Do you think we were the only straight people, straight men there? Unless somebody delivered a food item or something and was briefly on the doorstep, or if the sprinkler... Amazon! Amazon!

Maybe the sprinkler had an issue and they had to get called out on a Saturday. It's not cheap. But otherwise, yeah. Okay. Because there were a lot of friends of the show. Otherwise, yeah. I was the only straight person. Oh, okay. You think you're funny. Thanks for the ride, though. The best part of the event for me, obviously, besides tapping in with some former guests and friends, is the detached living space. The ADU. The ADU behind the main house just had giant vinyl lettering. office of ryan o'connell writer right on the glass door which really like like he's a principal at an elementary school but it was it was big typeface and with ryan you know that it's a little serious and it's a little jokey it's the beauty of ryan it's the beauty of ryan we were talking to his partner and i was and we were talking about how like oh A burglar or, you know, there's a lot of ne'er-do-wells in the neighborhood lately. Catalytic converters getting stolen, all that shit. They took my rollie. All the prezies are gone. But they're going to stumble into this backyard and they'll be like, oh, damn. And then they'll see like. office of Ryan O'Connell, writer, and they're like, oh, let's go to the next house. This guy's broke. He's just a writer. Yeah, it doesn't even say TV writer. We're going to go to the next house. Probably got something on Adult Swim or some shit. It's not even syndicated. But, yeah, and then the other highlight is Kiernan Shipka and I were trying to use the bathroom at the same time. Not like that, but we both had to go. It was a meet cute, not a meet coat. Exactly. We both had to go and he goes, Kiernan, you go to that bathroom. Chris, I want to take you to the gay bathroom. And I was like, what is a gay bathroom? And you were like, it's finally happening. I'm like, what is a gay bathroom? I don't know what that means. And then he opens the door. And there's a full Tom of Finland wallpaper job. Friend of the show, Tom of Finland. Which is very impressive. So the bathroom, I'm just looking at giant illustrated dicks as I'm using the bathroom myself. I like that because you see a lot of people who are very flamboyant with their sexuality. You know, you have like a Lil Nas X's of the world and all these people that are...

Very fierce and cunty and giving all the gayness. And then it's nice to see somebody who's a normal person who's just a white t-shirt and shorts guy. But then the primary bathroom is full of just cock guzzling. All the walls. Your mom is going to come see this. It's almost like being in like a, you know, like a dive bar blown out bathroom where you're trying to read all the graffiti, you know, check out all the stickers and stuff. Sure. But this time it's just whole everywhere you look. So it was it. But it was a good party, and it was hot as hell. That's a big decision to do wallpaper of just fucking. Gay or straight or any kind of fucking. I think it's at this point, though, I'd rather see that than the Beverly Hills Hotel wallpaper. That one's more blown out, coincidentally, than any of those holes on Ryan's wall. More fucked out than any hole on Ryan's wall. But also, you know, they're going to wake up. I had four and a half bottles of orange, one chuggable red, a bunch of pepperoni pizza, Detroit style with all the crunchies and all the ranch. You're going to be hung over as a, as a motherfucker. Open that door. You don't want to see Tom of Finland first thing in the morning. I think that's maybe, maybe Ryan, maybe Ryan chose the Tom of Finland wallpaper when he decided to stop drinking. Maybe that coincided. Yeah, you open the door every morning and you're like. I guess I don't need my coffee. Yeah, exactly. I'm up. I'm up. I'm up. But, yeah, it was a good time to be in Echo Park. And I do want to shout out whoever made – there was a homemade corn cookie that was absolutely delicious. Corn is trending right now because of TikTok. It was so good. And it was homemade. I can't remember. Ryan said one of his friends made it. But, wow. So nice to have an artisan corn cookie, not like the – High fructose corn syrup. Canceled milk corn cookie. It is delicious. I'm a compost guy. You know I love my potato chips and chocolate. Compost cookie is good too. But now that it's become whatever. Capitalist cookie. Back in my cooler days on a Saturday.

I would pop a handful of Oxys. Back in your cooler days. I'd pop a handful of Oxys, smoke a little loud. Before you had to set up your guardrails. Hit the Pacquiao and then just take a stroll down to the original milk bar location in New York's East Village. I would buy three cookies for $10 and have two that night. No soft serve with the cornflakes on top? No, because I'd have to eat that at the time. I don't eat dessert during the day. You know that. So I would take a high stroll, buy, I'd get a blueberry. I get a corn. I get a compost. And then I would play. You say, run it through the garden, Dave Chang. I would play like the street game with the ping pong ball and the three cups over which one to eat. You know what I mean? But you're not a milk dunker with the cookie, right? Oh, hell no. I mean, the compost cookie has enough flavor, I believe, to stand on its own. Yeah, they all do. They all do, of course. But you're saying milk is just a natural enhancement. Yeah, I was talking to Ryan's partner, and I was like, yeah, you got to, you know, this would be great with a glass of milk. Oh, yeah, he was disgusted with you. But it's also, I'm able to, I think people are so willing, like at first they're disgusted by the thought of drinking whole milk. They can't imagine not drinking oat or almond. That's right. And then 30 seconds of me telling them my side of the story, every single person I say, they're like, you know what, maybe you're right. Everyone turns like a gang member. That's because you become a mansplaining freak about ingredients. Yeah, how many of your ingredients are in my whole milk? In my almond milk that I blend myself in my Vitamix, it's just almonds and water. Thank you very much. Just a little pink Himalayan. I mean, a little sprinkle, but only once a week. Because obviously I make batches. I batch it. You know what I mean? That reminds me. I have to go. It's no problem at all for me. My third soak timer just went off. On Friday night, Al and I went to see The Weeknd live at the SoFi Stadium. And let me tell you, boy. The last lucky show.

Yeah, well, I woke up to... Before his house of cards... I did one of my famous scene report tweets about the weekend show and woke up to some responses today saying, at least he played your show. And I'm like, what do you mean? Oh, no. And then I go to trending topics on Twitter.com. And I do see that he has canceled the show three songs in because his voice was not operating at the level it should be. Yeah. Yeah, you said the weekend scene report, $50 parking. That's how I know you're getting old is you're complaining about parking a lot. No, I'm not complaining. I'm saying I wish it was higher. I told you I want to spend $100 on parking. Will somebody charge me $100? That sentiment was not translated onto this. I'm sorry. No, don't apologize to me. I'm trying to help you out. NFT promotion. So there was a moment during the show where it was like. Before the show starts. It comes on like... Concerts on this level now have trailers. Nicole Kidman comes out and tells you about the music. Literally, there was an NFT trailer about the weekend NFTs download this app and get them for blah, blah, blah. Then I'm like, all right, cool, show's starting. No, no. 15 more minutes. Then the trailer for his HBO show comes on. This is fucked up. Another 15 minutes. Then Lily Rose Depp comes out because I think they were shooting a scene from the show. Like, I think they were, you know what I mean? Like, live at the... So she, of course, looks hot as hell. She's so hot. She does this, like, diatribe, then leaves the stage. How hot is she? Then it's another five minutes before this motherfucker takes the stage. It's crazy. So were they actually filming something for this show? I think so. Like, oh, really? I said, Alex, but there's not a season two. She's like, there's a season two. You guys are all going to be a part of history. We're filming season two, episode four of my weird HBO show. Okay, so that's terrible. So concerts on that level are sort of like magazines. The ticket price is like buying. Nobody makes money off the ticket price anymore. I'm making all my money off of my Amazon.com sponsorship. I honestly don't know how much tickets cost. I wonder because it's so big. It's so big. We were looking up at the top. The greed disgusts me. We were looking up at the top, and I was literally like, this seems unsafe.

It's so high, it feels like they're going to tilt, fall forward. It's a black diamond slope. Exactly. Thank you to Kay Trinata for the tickets. And the Nick Daryl shot. Chris loves your high-swung beats, Kay Trinata. I love beats. You can't get enough of them. That's a good point. But the whole experience, of course, was a shit show. But he sounded good, man. That's why I'm shocked that he was blown out, the Notama Finland, the next night. Because he sounded great. And we were there. I mean, we stayed for like an hour. We were talking with Cho about how like when you're singing on that register, his voice is such a specific spot. And you're doing that day and night on a world tour. And there's only so much. You've got to bring that NASCAR into the pit. No, you're right. You're right. And I mean, I'm sure. stimmy hayes is bringing him back to life you know what i mean with some nice throat coat with that got got throat coat and i'm not talking about tea because imagine that got got oh shit it's funny because like we've we talked to all these indie musicians who are like yeah backstage i get like one cantaloupe and a bottle of water if i'm lucky and you know maybe they'll have some throat coat tea because my vocal cords are all fucked up I'm sure The Weeknd is on some, like, bioplasma, NASA, you know. He's got a doctor. He has probably 12 doctors, and he's privy to technology that we won't see for decades, and a team of people are working on AI technology to reconstruct his vocal cords, and he still can't do it. But apparently, according to an unnamed source, it would have been better for him to cancel. without touching the stage for insurance purposes. So him going out there being like, I don't feel great, but I'm going to fucking do this, and then not being able to do it three songs in is fucking him up. So he was trying to leave it all on the stage, Jason. He went down fighting. He went down swinging. He did go down swinging, yeah. But he also went down. That's all, yes. Him and Simi Hayes went down. The thing about him that's great, the thing about the show that's really funny is that there's like these 15 women in like red,

silk gowns where their whole face is covered, like a Muslim style, like down to their ankles. Like eyes wide shut type shit? Yeah. And they just, they don't dance. They kind of stand and like move and like align themselves in this way that's kind of like, it basically seems like it's just so he's not on the stage alone for an hour and a half. They got these 15 chicks that they're paying, you know, $1,000 a day to literally kind of stand. Okay. It's very weird. But it kind of works. I can't explain it. So they just kind of stand and sway around a little bit? They move, but it's not like dancing. Do they move in unison? They will. But they also will just stand. They'll split up and six of them in a circle will just stand near him. Do you think they're in there just listening to podcasts or talking shit to each other? What do you guys want to get for dinner after this? As they move three degrees to the right. Is there a raising canes in Inglewood? I don't know. Maybe, honestly. It's just so weird because I'm like, if you're like a, because I'm sure they are dancers. I'm sure they just didn't hire just regular people. So it's like a dancer. You're like, so you're going to pay me my dancer rate, but I just got to stand here? Right. What's the catch? This seems weird, but it also seems boring. Yeah. What a great way to make a gig. I mean, because you finish that and then you go over to Tootsies and then you make another thousand. Make a little thousand. So you're doing two a day. That ain't bad. All right, so, Kay Trinata, drunk first-year Persian dentist in play Converse is the next item on the scene report. There was a handful of drunk dentist types. First-year Persian dentist is a niche one in the play Converse. It's something that I've been exposed to in my life, actually, and that's why I was able to pull that reference out. And they were just – they're like guys that – the amount of – regular straight men who knew every word to every song was shocking did they look like they subscribed to the nav subreddit not even like more even more basic than that just like i work it but it would be like me and you seeing the weekend twisted both wearing like baby chains and like fucking play converse and like weekend merch at the show putting our arms around each other singing singing

Right. We had like three beers at the yard house beforehand. Yes, exactly. And there was also like the vibe of like the long hem tea guy with vans on. Yeah. With his like thick chick rubbing her butt on him, you know. But it's in a stadium. It's like, bro. You're going to listen to Blueface on the way home. This ain't the club. Like, don't rub your butt on me. It is. It's beyond the club. This was thousands of people's best day of the year. No, I agree. Which is crazy. I agree. And also, the only people allowed to wear PlayConverse, cool moms. That's it. Yeah, I agree with you. Otherwise, don't do it. That's a good point. Okay, next on the list, 13-year-old in Jordan's singing, quote, turn that pussy to a faucet. I looked over and literally saw a teen in Jordan's with his teen boys with a mustache coming in, like screaming along, pussy to a faucet. None of these people have ever turned a pussy into a faucet. They've never seen one. Maybe online, of course. Online. On their iPhone. Okay. I guess that's kind of... That's every show. Because when I was 13, I was probably singing along to lyrics that were just as crass, but it was a little more... It was a little less wordy. The hard thing for me with R&B stylings or singing, I can't... When you talk about killing people or fucking people in sing voice, I just can't take it. I'm just like, bro, you ain't doing that. I agree. I agree. I need you to say it with your whole damn chest. He's not... It's not autobiographical when he sings sentences about turning his pussy to a faucet and he sounds like an opera singer. Even though Abel is a known stickman. I mean, he's a confirmed stickman. Like, bro, you got Bella and Selena. That doesn't confirm that he's good at sex.

That confirms that he's a rich and famous, powerful person. Good point. Good point. I'm sorry. He could be. But I don't know. I don't see it. I do. He's been on pills for a long time, right? I think he's an attentive lover. Interesting. Yeah, but I mean, if you're pilled out the whole time... I don't think he's pilled out anymore. He's on something. I don't know. I think these guys get to a point where the... it's like too hard to do what they're doing if you're fucked up. Like I don't think you can. Like he doesn't even have time to drink a beer. I don't think you can go on that level of tour and be like truly fucked up. They used to be able to. Well, times have changed. Now you got the oxygen bar in your green room. Yeah. Keith Richards didn't have an NFT launch before back then. Back in my day, NFT was just another grade of cocaine. Okay. uh a lot of guys alone guys alone just like going to the weekend alone is cool it is cool there's a guy this is my i don't want it it's like when you go to a movie alone you're like this is my religious experience there was a guy next to us wearing an xo like og shirt backwards playstation logo hat on vans regular skinnies like this guy this guy honestly could have worked at like a grocery store and he was having the time of his fucking life and i'm like this makes this like reminds me what music is supposed to do this guy's having the fucking time of his life he's everywhere he's recording it all he's having so much fun and i'm sitting here with my free ticket making fun of people and i'm like i felt bad about my i felt bad about it don't feel bad feel Great that we're privileged to look down on these people who derive the main source of their pleasure from a commercial concert. But it's the same way I feel about when I see someone who's really overweight exercising. I'm like, hell yeah, bro. I know this is so hard for you. It almost makes me emotional how happy I am to see you trying. Your life sucks, but get it, girl. Yeah, that's literally it. When I see somebody running on a treadmill when I know it's terrible, I'm like, this is hard. You're doing something really hard, and I'm proud of you.

Same feeling I had at the weekend. Same feeling. I know what you mean. I get emotional about blind people when I see them in the streets. Accomplishing impossible tasks. Like crossing the street. Well, there's that, but I'll see a video of a blind skater. Oh, yeah. Those are amazing. And they're like, I'm going to kickflip this four stair, and it's going to take me seven hours. Bro, the blind skateboarding is insane. With the stick. Yeah, with the stick. So sick. They got to do their sonar mapping of all the cracks on the ground, and they just – just to eat shit and not know when it's going to happen. Yeah, not great. You're like, I'm in the air, and I'm going to land. I don't know when. I don't know how. And then you just get up and do it again. Those guys are great. I'm sure there's some female blind skaters too. There are. There are. Probably less. Okay. Yeah, and shout out to Lily Rose. Lily Rose looked great. So, yeah, I mean, do we want to... I mean, I think we could just brush, do a tight five on Kanye West. All right. Because... Kanye has been busy on social media. Once again, Kanye West is proving that his best work is on social media. He hasn't made good music in 15 years. No pun intended. But calling Adidas Nazis is pretty high up there. Yeah, it's usually just Hugo Boss. I know. And it seems like he's... Also having some parenting troubles, Jason. If you don't understand why I will not back down on my businesses, my brands, and my children, then you're the ones who are crazy. I also like the anecdote he told about an employee asking if he was hot and then him telling that employee that they just have a job. Sometimes I dress like it's winter when it's hot because my outfit hot. I'm going to sweat before you catch me looking regular. I can relate to this. At the BTU Awards, this person that works at Universal asked me, was I hot? I told this person, you work at Universal. There's nothing cooler than somebody trying to say something to you and you just stating a fact that is a burn. There's nothing cooler than that. I just think Kanye, you know, unfortunately... It seems fun to operate on his level even though he's...

clearly tortured unfortunately ti has taken to comedy and it's not great but it's it kanye it sounds like the one who should be taking to comedy yeah unfortunately ti is probably talking about stuff that's like funny and relevant to most people and kanye is talking about like which venture capitalists are are goofy bro him just putting the him putting some venture capitalist face on a on a body holding hands with kid cuddy in a wedding dress He's good. No one's better at doing a petty Photoshop. Who do you think on the Donda team is like, do you think he's opening Photoshop to make that? Or do you think he's texting someone to make that? It doesn't look like somebody who knows what they're doing. But it's so sick. It's literally like something I would text you or Yayo to make for me. Yeah. And they're just like, yeah, dumbass here. It takes me five minutes. And we're like, look, I could take an hour or two and make it look really good, but I'm going to do the five-minute version, and that'll be somehow better. Well, the five-minute version is funnier. Just like how South Park, you know, you leave. I just don't feel sorry for him anymore. I don't care what happens to him because this is pure entertainment. What do you think this means? Just in case Instagram never lets me post again, I need everyone to know one last thing. Black hats matter. What do you think that means? I don't know. I don't know either. I mean, maybe it's a new thing he has coming out. Maybe it's just a promotion. Could be. Could be anything. There's one that says, it's a tweet that says, blank diarrhea a lot, like way more than a normal person should have it. And then his caption is, this was not from me. Someone copied my style of text and wrote something not funny. I know you guys. going to be disappointed, but I actually didn't write this tweet that said Friends wasn't funny either. It's true. That's true, Kanye. Friends is not that funny, and Blank does diarrhea a lot, way more than a normal person should have it. It's also like he doesn't even take a second to read it over before he posts it. And this is full of crazy typos, capitalizations that don't make sense. It's like Walt.

I'm just fully come back around on Kanye. This is the best version of him. I actually didn't write the teat with three E's that said friends wasn't funny either, but I wish I had. I'd love to know who thought of that. I like to post comments because you people is hilarious. I love funny people, and I think that's one of the reasons me and Skeet couldn't never be friends. Comedically, some of my favorites are me, Mitch Hedberg, Anthony Jeselnik, Louis C.K., Gerard Carmichael, D. Ray, J.P. Smooth. Imagine if J.B. Smooth is like, hell yeah, I'm on this list, but he doesn't know how to spell my name. And it's two letters. Mace, Elon Musk, 50, Justin, G.L.C., Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Larry David, Kevin Hart, parentheses in Jumanji. And, of course, King David, Dave Chappelle. I like to fight with jokes. Sometimes we've got to laugh to keep from crying, even when we're dealing with serious topics. Should be the funniest when it's true. Should do be the funniest when it's true. That is true. That list is pretty, like... To end it, that person that commented on my outfit really does work at Universal. Daniel Cherry Pop really wore that hat. And that's the guy, Daniel Cherry is the guy he put on the body holding hands with Kid Cudi. Yes, DC. It's so good, man. That list of comedians is pretty deep. No, he's, I mean, everyone I know from Chicago has jokes. Everyone's funny as hell from Chicago. Just whatever it is, even just the way, even just conversationally. The way you would say a sentence, like the way you move words around. There's nothing like when I see Ben Edgar snapping on you in the circle. Well, you know, not all the Chicagoites are known for their eviscerating. I love when Ben Edgar cuts you up like a damn steak. He's more of a little sniper. You get one blow dart to the neck, but it's going to put you down versus a barrage of. No, he has given me some blow darts before, for sure. And I love it when someone like that.

does that. It's my favorite. I'm saying Chicago people have a gift where they can just say one word, and that means a sentence. I don't know. I just laughed. This isn't my whole point. Kanye West social media that we just read for five minutes, better than anything I've seen on Netflix. I laughed twice as hard. And you've seen Selling OC. Selling OC is the best show on television, but it's not funny. It's sad and depressing, which is kind of... Funny adjacent. I did some laughing when I watched episode one, season one. Well, I mean, like I said, it's three Alex's arguing about nothing. So and then three hot Christian guys. One's gay. Yeah. So it sounds like your life. Kind of. Yeah. All right. We do have a guest today. Labor Labor Day special. And Jason, it was time we this is a wild one because we're really tapping in with a goat. Yeah. We decided to rise to the occasion and book Paul. Paul Reiser, you know him from, I don't know, Mad About You, the Emmy Award winning must-see TV NBC series. He's also in Stranger Things and some other stuff as well. He's on Stranger Things. He's got a new show coming out on Hulu. He's on Amazon, The Boys. He has a new show on Hulu that looks really good. The new show on Hulu looks good. It looks funny. The premise is funny. Yeah, the Kaminsky method. Yeah, he's in the Kaminsky method. He's in the first Alien movie, and he popularized flipping up the collar on your suit coat or blazer to appear futuristic. He's written three books. He's really done it all in Hollywood, and he couldn't have been more excited to talk to us. Yeah, you're going to kind of see. We recorded this last week, which is why we're talking about it past tense, but you're going to see a cool display of a guy who doesn't want to talk to us or do this podcast. and then two guys who are wondering why we're podcasting with him. But I realize the through line is we basically just bust each other's balls, and we tell him you need us more than we need you, and he tells us the same thing back. But I think the through line and the reason why we all get along is we bust each other's balls for an hour. We have a good time. Everyone's all happy. We're never going to talk to each other again. We all know it. But the through line is that we all agreed to do something that

Didn't really make sense to anyone. And then when it was time to do it, we stuck with it. Yeah, we're going to make the best of this. We didn't back out. We didn't call our PR person at 11.59 and be like, what is this? The pod cart? I don't want to do that. Like so many other famous people can do and do all the time. He was like. I told these people I'd do it. Paul's a soldier. He's a soldier, and he's a mensch. And he's back on the road. I think that's part of it. I think these guys that come, as much as I disrespect stand-up, I do think it's a very difficult thing to do, especially when you're Paul Reiser and you're very rich and you have no, the only reason to do it is because you like it. There's no other reason to do it, and I have to respect that because that's not. That's just like a good quality. Yeah, it's just that some people love the challenge of model train building. Some people become sommeliers, and some people just have the Jesselnik's disorder. But yeah, check out our chat with Paul, and then we're back next week with more pods from New York. And big announcement on September 7th. More shit happening in How Long Gone land. I know you're excited. Hold on to your fucking hat. So yeah, enjoy this talk with Paul Reiser. He's a great guy. He busts our balls really well, and it's cool to talk to an old pro who's been talking forever. The reason we do this podcast is not just to talk to bands on polyvinyl, but also to talk to absolute legends that my parents actually know. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to tell my mom every time she's like, who's on the pod? I'm like... oh, this girl wrote a column on Elle magazine about... And she's like, oh, okay. Oh, you like Mama, right? Bro, you saw Matt about you, right? She's like, hell yeah. Oh, I love Helen Hunt. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot.

because I can't do anything. You need some art hung, TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture. repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a Tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world, is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code. how long taskers book up faster, especially for same day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code how long with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned.

They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code how long to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Paul, so you're coming out of the gate swinging, busting balls, and we kind of like that. What's going on, Paul? We wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Oh, no, this is where I live. Now, have you always had this much attitude, or is this something you've developed in your older age? You know, well, I've been an old guy since I'm 22.

Maybe I started. Sure. So just so I know, this is it. We're in the thing now. It's not like you're going to get a little. This whole thing is the podcast. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. But this it's audio only. We just turn on the camera and get a nice look at you. I get a nice look at the young, young man that I'm chatting with. That's right. Yeah. We want, we want to remind you how good, how good it can be. But I will say. You did say when we get a TV show, you'll get some real equipment, and that does hit below the belt, obviously. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, no. You deserve better. It's okay. I don't deserve better, and that's the thing, because until I have a TV show, no one will care about me, and that's the problem with podcasts. Well, as far as I know, this is the only podcast out there, so I think you're in great, great shape. That's good. I could be wrong. I'm not up to date, but that's the first one I've heard of. It's the only one you need to care about. I won't say it's the only one that exists. Certainly the only one I care about. Exactly. And unfortunately, since the space is getting clogged, much like your beloved television, so it's kind of becoming a problem for us to stand out. How long have you been doing this? About two, two and a half years. Yeah, we've had some success. Luckily, we're able to get guys like you to join us. And, you know, it is a little bit easier than TV. It just requires two of us. There's not, you can't see, there's not 50 people behind me somewhere. Nor here. It's interesting. Many years from now, we will look back and somebody will do an expose about what came out of the pandemic, how culture changed because. A million podcasts and people said, gee, I have time to write a book. I have time to reflect. I have time. So some positive came out of that mandatory shift. I would agree. We definitely wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for that. As long as you're in the creative arts that have no or low barrier of entry, it was a great time. Exactly. As long as you can shit out whatever you want and some people might check it out. I would bet you, though, even not in the arts. People reevaluated their work situation. Do they want to work at home? Do they not want work at all? Do they want to stay in a marriage that they actually said, wow, I didn't spend this much time with the other person. This is crazy.

You know, it's only really a lockdown for a few weeks, but it did shift a lot of people's mindsets and rocked a lot of worlds and gave birth to this lovely. That's right. It gave birth. Where did you where did you ride out the pandemic in Santa Barbara, Malibu? What are we looking at? No, I was in town in L.A. and we had luckily a big backyard and we were very fortunate that we didn't feel as cramped as we might have. And at the time, my son came home from school. He was in college back east, came back home, and thankfully we had a little bit of elbow room because it is not every 19-year-old's dream to be with your parents for 24 hours a day. So his wings are just starting to spread, and then they're clipped. Yes, and guess what? We're going to pull you back, and now... And you can't see anybody, and you're not going to beat any girls for a year. Instead of having sex, your mom's going to fold your socks for the next year. Yes. Yeah, that's tough. Six of one. Six of one. Now, did you guys discover anything? Because I'm actually turning 40 in a couple weeks. Don't do it. Don't do it. I'm trying to halt that process as much as possible. I also – so I guess I was like 38 or 39. I spent a couple months with my parents actually in Atlanta, and I found it to be surprisingly pleasant. Like I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Different point in life, 38. Different point in life. Yes. But they also gave me some space. Now, are you all over – are you trying to build and hang out with your son, or are you letting him do his thing? It was a lot of giving him space, but we would meet. He's very good at being insular. A lot of times you wouldn't even know he lives in the same house, but he comes out for feedings and to see the sun. It's very much like having a lizard. If he didn't need food or daylight, you wouldn't know he's there. That sounds great. I was actually reminiscing. It was surprising. I don't know who I was talking to, but there was a period when...

you had to really lock down and we were very lucky and very blessed that we were nobody we didn't get sick so i know i'm saying this from a very privileged fortunate place but i kind of enjoyed the parameters of it's like oh we can't go out we can't socialize And we're going to spend time together. And suddenly, like we said before, things were born of it. Like, well, let's actually cook something together. We never did that. Let's actually see if we can have fun just with us. And it kind of, I mean, there was certainly friction. And, you know, as I said, I didn't envy my 19-year-old having to see us every day. But I liked seeing him. But I can look back now and go, that was actually. Parts of that were really fun. I miss the quarantine a little bit every once in a while because during that moment, I was in the best shape of my life. There was nothing to do, so I would just work out in the backyard with some... kettlebells and jump rope every day and then you can't and you can't show off to anybody there's nobody to see it can't show off to anybody but and sometimes i miss the simplicity of that where there wasn't the overload of like oh like when there's no restaurants you can go to you can't go to the movies yeah you all you can't do anything so you make your own fucking losers man you guys are fucking losers i'll obviously i want to bust out I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of here. All I want to do is socialize. I got to go down to the store, you know, work on my stuff. I don't know how you did it. I don't know how you did it, Paul. I don't know. I mean, did you write another book? Did you really use your time or did you just? I did. I did. I did. Not on purpose. I mean, I didn't say, oh, my gosh, I have to use my time. But I did write a book that hasn't come out yet. And I did work on playing some piano that I had been putting off for years. I really wanted to learn that piece that I loved. You know, when I was a piano major in college, I go, well, that's too hard. Well, I got nothing but time. So I'm going to learn this, you know, one note at a time. And after a couple of months, I went, oh, look at that. I did it. Okay. So this is book number two, three, four? Well, no, I've written three books, three and a half books. Three books and then one was a little 10,000 word thing. No, this was actually a book that a buddy of mine.

a musician is writing his memoir. And he said, well, I don't know how to write that. I said, well, let's write it together. And so I sort of, we just chatted and then I would sort of massage it and turn it and help create it into a book. So I was using time, but I was helping others because that's what I'm all about. That's beautiful. Because usually a person in your position, there will be somebody doing that for you and you became the person that helped somebody else. How does that feel? It felt good. I'm here, like frankly today, to help you. We feel that, absolutely. Do you? Yeah, 100%. And hopefully some of the people that listen to our podcast do know who you are. I'm not sure. We're going to figure that out kind of when we put this thing up. But that is honestly impressive because I think that writing a book is arguably the hardest thing to do. Writing a memoir is an extra challenging thing because you have to decide. I'm of the belief that you have to really let it all hang out for it to succeed. Warts and all. Yeah, that's the whole point. But I'm sure there's some stories that maybe your buddy wanted to kind of leave on the chopping block because they were incriminating to him or others. Yes. Well, yes. Well, it was his story to tell. And I would say, well, put it down and we'll cut it out later. It was fun to be on the other side of it because it was the first thing I'd ever done that wasn't. I wasn't the end user. It wasn't for me. So I did use my time. But even sometimes using time to do nothing, to be still, as you say, just to see what is it like. I went the other way. I had no kettlebells. I did not work. I went the other way. I decided to try every bourbon and made a nice dent in the bourbon supply. There really was a fork in the road. I guess I could start drinking at this time. Or just, you know, a life. I mean, I smoked a lot of marijuana if it makes you feel better, Paul. Good for you. Good for you. You know, but I would certainly find I'm not by any stretch. I would never call myself a heavy drinker or a drinker at all. And suddenly I go, most don't. Three o'clock seems about right, doesn't it? Yeah, three o'clock, yeah. Because there was no clock. There was no reason why not. And I didn't have to be crisp and sharp for anything.

It's not like I had a big podcast coming up. No. So what's your sleep schedule like? You seem like a guy who might be up a little later than he should be. I'm trying to unpack that. What does that even look like? Oh, I'm just saying. I just feel like I think that. You know, I maybe look, although I look young and extremely well-rested, it's because I do go to bed at 930, even though I should maybe stay up until midnight like some of my contemporaries. No, I don't stay up late. I rarely stay up late. I think on a night when I, you know, if I'm going out and doing a show, I will be home a little later. But, no, I'm usually in bed. Okay. All right. You're measured. You're measured. And I get up early. You know, I'm like, I don't know why. Something happens as you get older and you sleep. I always say, I can sleep in tomorrow until 9, 10. We're up at 5.30 over here. It's called CEO hours, something you should think about because you're not working hard enough from what I can tell. I've seen your CV. I checked out the Wikipedia. There's a lot of shit on there. You know what I mean? But I don't know how much effort you're putting in. Well, the key to my success is very, very shallow work. There's not a lot of concern. So the volume is impressive, but the quality is... Okay, quantity, not quality. That's actually what we do because we do three of these a week. So we're kind of on the same program that you're on. It's a volume game. Oh, to do what I do with quality, that would take a lot. I don't have that in the tank right now. So, Paul, I've heard you mention a few times on our chat of the last 14 minutes, there may be a little apprehension about doing a podcast, a couple podcast digs in there. Are we just having fun, or is there a resistance against podcasts? Do I have a resistance to podcasts? No, I am sometimes to a... I am just wildly amiable and flexible. Okay. So I have, so somebody in my world, my manager or publicist will go, no, so you got this thing at 1130. I go, what is it? That's two fucking guys. And then you talk to them. I went, okay. And then I go, what is it? I don't know. And then I'll have a good time. And then I'll go, well, that's time. I never get back. So no, I have nothing against pocket, but I, I, I have.

Lately, because I have all these little things cooking, I'm doing some promos for publicity for Reboot and then for a whole bunch of shows. I'm doing a little stand-up tour. So I actually forget who I'm talking to, where I'm talking to. Sure. So it's just fun to have fun with two guys who have headphones. I understand. Well, I think that we do kind of need each other because we need people like you. legacy entertainers, comedians over decades. We like talking to real pros like you. Sure. And not just some loser who just wrote a book that has no personality. No. But also, you need us because we are exposing you. We're the gatekeeper to expose you to the young people. You know what I mean? How many young people are listening right now? I would say several tens of thousands young people. And then for the old people... Maybe more. My old people don't know how to find it. It's also a 70-30 male-female split, if you were wondering. We can kind of get into that. If you're looking to advertise for some of your dates, we can send over more information. I'm not looking to do anything. I just have too much time. No, but I'll tell you what's funny now is somebody said, because there is a new wave in my audience, which I'll see when I do stand-up. for for the longest time would be people my age would be 50s and up or 40s and stuff and then being on stranger things brought in newer younger people and then the boys brought in another little segment so i can actually look in into in the theater look at the audience and go okay those people are 22 they came from stranger things That guy with the tattoos, he came from the boys. The couple in their 40s, they came from Mad About You. And the guy over there in his 70s, that's a Kaminsky method. I was going to ask if you had a wheelchair section for the Kaminsky method. I was going to say wheelchair, but that's a little unkind. I went with 70. I'm personally a big fan of the Kaminsky method, by the way, and I'm young at heart. It's a good show. It's a really good show. But what's funny to me, I always tell people, like, I'm doing all these things.

But what I really want to do is stand up. That's the part. I love doing these other things and they're great. And it's great to be part of them. But to me, the stand up is that's what I intended to do. That's what I started out to do. And I didn't have all these other plans. So it's funny to me when people don't know that I do stand up, which is understandable because I did take a long time off and I have not been out there in any kind of significant way. And for many years, I wasn't out at all. So somebody. The other day that someone said to them, oh, the guy from the Stranger Things, now he's going to try and just stand up. He's been doing that since before your parents were born. Yeah, not since before you were born, since before your parents were born. Exactly. How does it feel to be back on the road? Because I'm sure you're not slumming it. I hope we're flying Delta 1 to and from every day. We're staying at the Four Seasons. I don't want you taking public transportation. Oh, I'll have to change my plans. No, it's not. The road, even when I was young and single and starting out, I never was like a road guy. I would go out for weeks at a time. So it's a very gentlemanly schedule. I'll go out like every other weekend. I'll do one show or two shows. It just so happens the next couple of months, I have more things planned than I have in a while. Because every time I actually say, let's just do three, four months. Let me go out four or five days a week. Well, you want to do a reboot. It's like, oh, yeah, that's a great show. Okay, so I can't do anything for those three months. Well, I'm going to go make a movie, so forget those two months. You got a dollar holding up a dime is what it sounds like, Paul. Well, it's a nice problem to have, so I certainly don't mean to sacrifice. But I actually love the idea of working, doing stand-up more because it's such a tangible difference when you do it. night after night after night. You do it more often. It's like the material grows, you grow. It's a living, breathing thing, and it's always fun to me. There are very few things that you can do in your 60s that feel like you did when you were 18. In fact, there's nothing. I was just thinking, I got nothing. But stand-up is. It's actually identical. It's like, hopefully I'm better now than I was when I went on audition night in college in 1970, whatever, three.

But it is as low-tech and old-school as a thing can be. There's no app to speed it up. You just have to get out, and the more you do it, the more you grow. The only way to do it is to do it. We sort of talk about that all the time where this podcast is sort of like stand-up for us where it's just us bullshitting and talking, and you kind of come up with little ideas and write little premises down the same way that you might for stand-up. And then, you know, all the things that you do in your life become content that you talk about. So I'm sure as a stand-up, you're always thinking the same thing. So the more shit that you're doing, then the more stuff you have to talk about on stage. For sure. For sure. How many of these have you done so far? We're creeping into 400. This will be 384. Yeah, we're creeping in. So we've done a lot. I bet you haven't listened to the first one. I'm all good on that, Paul. I'm all good on that. I'm not looking to revisit, kind of. You know what I mean? Maybe the first hundred. I don't watch game tape. That's Jason shit, because Jason does all the technical side of this. I do all the booking. So he's more in touch with kind of how we've improved and failed. Well, it's not failing. It's just you get better at it, and you find out what you like doing, and you go deeper, and you go wider. And anything, hopefully, you get to be... You know, you get to grow. Do you have a problem looking at your game tape when you record your stand-up? No, I actually find it helpful. You know, if I go down to work out at a club in L.A., they'll tape it. If I'm doing 10, 15 minutes or something, you know, I will watch it that night while it's still in my head. I go, okay, that's why that joke didn't work. Oh, that's actually, I didn't remember that, but that's a funny thing. To watch a long set, it's a little tedious. To watch an hour and a half of myself is a little bit demanding. You really got to psych yourself up for that, I'm sure. Yeah, I actually just go, you know what? The other thing is, even if I watch it, I go, and I do make a note. I don't know how to actually make that note. Like, where do I write it down?

Would I ever read that wherever it is? It's really just all. You're just telling your brain like, I should remember that. Your brain's like, all right, guy, you got it. Yeah, write it down. That's why I could never, yeah, in school, I could never take notes. It was a disorganization thing. But if I watch it, and again, if you do it every night, it's like, okay, I think I sort of remember what I did last night. I'm sorry. Do you think you're in a position now where you're getting a little more grace on stage because people know you from other things, if that makes sense? You know what I mean? It's like if you're 21 and you're a stand-up, people are kind of either going to love you or hate you, but people might have a soft spot for you and give you a little more time to nail the joke. For sure, especially if I'm performing somewhere. and people bought a ticket, it's like, all right, I think this is going to be fine. They already bought a ticket. They like me enough to spend $37.50 and get a babysitter. Yeah, and they drove here. I mean, you know, like, this is not an accident. So I think I have to do my job and be good, as good as I can be, but this is going to be fine. Years ago or so, when I hadn't been on stage in years, and I just said, I'm just going to, you've got to just jump in the pool. And I went down to this club in LA. They introduced me, and it's like, and the crowd was like, oh, it was really, like, nice ovation. It's like, oh, that guy from the show. That lasts about four seconds. And then they calm down. They go, we don't, you know, just like you, but, like, their attitude is, what is it that you wanted to say to us? And I go, I don't know. And it was really, I had to sort of fall through it. I only have three minutes of jokes. And they're like, oh, those were jokes? Okay. But what I learned was it wasn't even the material. It was getting confidence. I did by accident. Somebody had posted a thing from back then, from like 10 years ago, when I was really, and I hadn't found my comfort zone yet. And I was like, oh, my God, I look so horribly unsure, you know, because I didn't know what I was doing. And I think in the last couple of years, yeah, by doing it more and the audience,

growing there is a a comfort zone and also i like doing it you know and some audience can see that sure and i this sounds really i don't know if it sounds nice or narcissistic but i like the people that would come to see me sure sure yes it's like you know it's like You know, that girl likes you. Well, she must be really smart. That's so nice of her. I already like her because she likes me. So you're a fan of yourself. Yeah. Nobody's coming to see me really by accident. You know what I mean? It's not. I get it. So I kind of like them. I already like them. Yeah, no, I get that. You're riser folk. You're riser hive. There's no reason why we shouldn't get along swimmingly. We got to get along. We did a tour. We did a tour. And I found it, you know, it did well and like we sold out most of the shows and we did kind of like classic like indie rock venues like Bowery Ballroom or something in New York. You know, I had a little bit of a time. You really realize who your fans are when you see them in real life. Like on the internet, it ain't the same shit. Like you're saying, when somebody's paying 25 bucks to come see you and sit in the chair, it's a little bit of like, oh, this is who really thinks I'm funny. This is who really likes the show. And I think, I didn't have a fully different idea, but I would say that my mind was open a little bit after seeing that. Yeah, but it's also, there's a certain type of person that would spend money and get a ticket. And there's a lot of people who... equally like you, who are going, I just like listening on my podcast, and I'm not going to get out of the car. Wouldn't be caught dead at one of the shows. Yeah, I think the hotter, richer people are the latter, and then maybe the, okay. Well, I'm glad to know that kind of crosses over through generations. Well, that's funny. That's when I say, I don't take for granted, and I so appreciate, that somebody, when anybody comes to a show, obviously it's a given. You know, the whole rule is here. I'll show up and perform. You guys come and be the audience. But you break it down. It's like you bought a ticket. You parked. You had to maybe get a babysitter. All these things. And I know myself how easy it is to do nothing. Somebody's coming. Well, yeah, whoever. Springsteen's coming. Want to see him? Yeah.

Would I have to get off the couch? Is the Dodgers through the traffic? Yeah, there's a thousand reasons to impede your progress. So when somebody does it and they make that effort, it's like, well, that's not to be taken lightly. It's heartwarming. It's enough reason to want to be good, to really give it your best. Because Jason and I both, we experienced that this weekend. I went and saw the Killers on Saturday night, and Jason went and saw the Strokes last night. But the effort, you're right. I was like, I thought in my head, I'm like, I love this band. I really want to see it. The tickets are free, but I'm going to have to drive. I'm going to have to park. I'm going to have to leave early to skip traffic. I might be hungry after. It's going to take everything that I have to go to this concert that has a free backstage artist pass. Yeah, it's like I can't. And you didn't have any of these concerns at 21. No, hell no. I would do anything anytime. The only concern is how am I going to sneak these drugs into this concert? And now, like, is there a bathroom nearby? Do you find – I feel like you're – it sounds like you've got a lot going on right now. And as a person who is on kind of like a legacy sitcom, that feels more like a kind of full-time job in some ways, like a little more regular. The schedule seems pretty regular, or am I incorrect? Well, it was a longer commitment, the old-school model of network television. First of all, if you're lucky enough to get a show that gets picked up and it's a hit – you're sort of contracted for usually seven years. You know, that should be your biggest problem, but that is seven years. And if you're doing 25, 24 shows, it's really 36 weeks. So that's basically the year. So certainly we would do other things. You know, when we do a mad about you, I didn't do a lot of other things. It was just because it was so all consuming for me. And now this is the new model is so, I find so much more appealing so that I was getting ready to go do this movie that I, I set up that I wrote, I produced it and I, I didn't want to move it. And suddenly I got this, this offer to come do reboot. I went, this Steve Levitan show on Hulu. And I went, well, I'm going off to do a movie. They go, well, it's only eight episodes. I go, I guess. Okay. I can move my two weeks. So suddenly to do a whole thing, it's eight weeks. I'm like, that's.

that it feels it's like swinging with one back it's like so much easier we used to yeah i'm mad about you we had a ritual we would you know our monday to friday was our week and friday night we'd tape it in front of an audience at the end of the night we'd all go back into the writer's room and and the cast and the writers and we would just have pizza and beer and then we'd officially mark off you know on the big whiteboard the list of episodes and you're doing 24 so when you cross off number 11 You go, oh, my God. We're not even anywhere around the corner. The running joke with Helen, I used to just cover up last week's show, which was only six days earlier. I go, what was last week's episode? You go, no fucking idea. You were in a car. Nope, not a fucking clue. It's like you're just out your brain, and then you focus on this week's, and then that's out your brain. When you were driving around or walking around back then, would somebody yell a joke at you from the last week's episode, and you're like, I have no clue what you're talking about, buddy. What are you talking about, bro? They're not that current. I don't think they would keep abreast week by week. But it is funny. We all have people, and you have certain memories. If you love a band and you love one song, Chances are the band's not necessarily thinking of that song. So I had, for some reason, Beverly Hills Cop, which was 1983, I think, or four. And I had two scenes or three scenes with Eddie and one scene in the locker room. And we had, I had lived this line because I didn't know how to get out of the scene. The boss is yelling at Eddie and I'm over listening, over listening and overhearing. sticking my head in the front of the boy. He yells at me, and I go, hey, this is not my locker. And I saw it recently. It's actually on the cut. It's barely in the movie. It's like, this is not my locker. And it cut. Forty years, people come over to me and go, hey, this is not my locker. And I go, really? But to this day, this year, I was on the show, and every crew member, hey, I love that this is my locker joke. Really?

All the jokes we put in Mad About You, none of those appeal to you. And what's really weird is that sometimes people come over and they'll do their twist on it. And for years I didn't get it. So I'd be in the airport and somebody would go, hey, this is not my suitcase. And I'd go, what? No, it's my suitcase. No, this is not my suitcase. I went, I don't know why you're talking. Oh, you're doing a joke. So yes, but I have nothing but appreciation that somebody enjoys a joke. And I know I've gone over to, I foolishly have shared, sometimes I'll meet an actor and I'll tell them about a line. of theirs from a movie from 18 years ago that killed me. And I'll go, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'll go, really? It doesn't matter if there were equals. I still don't know what you're talking about. This is not a safe space. But I feel like that's not my locker, like that style of joke. You may have been the first person to really do it on that big screen, you know, that improvised line. It was that style of joke. It was not even a joke. It was just, how do I get out of this? How do I get out of this scene? Yeah, but it's a thing that... That kind of popped up more in the 90s growing up. I'd see it in little movies and things like that. It's so funny. But you never know. I'll tell you what was really nice about getting out and going and doing stand-up again, besides actually doing stand-up. I would often do a meet and greet afterwards and sign books or sign whatever and take pictures, whatever, anybody comes by. Invariably, people would have a story. Every show, somebody would say, you know, this episode of Mad About You, that was so important to me and my wife. Or, gee, that joke, we do that same bit for the last 30 years. Or, we got married to your theme song. And when we were making the show, I didn't know it. We didn't have social media, so you didn't hear all the feedback. So not everybody's going to take the time to write a letter. And if they did, you ain't going to read it. Yeah, well, I might, but it sounds weird to say, but I didn't know the actual personal impact on people's lives. I knew it was a hit and people watched it, but like, oh, and it's very, it's helpful to me. It's just pleasant. It's just like, wow, that was a line from 1995, but you have been saying it.

In your house, apparently. Okay. So I guess the show did have a reach, and it did have a shelf life. No, we talk about this a lot. I think that that era of television, you know, appointment television, for lack of a better term, I think things resonated more. I mean, we talk about this all the time, but the streaming shit, like, I'll watch it all in one day and forget the plot. I'll have no idea what happened. I know if I liked it or didn't like it, but I couldn't pick out kind of what you're saying. And he's sober. Yeah, and I'm sober. I have no excuse. I did a show that's on Peacock. It's called There's Johnny. I'm not in it, but I wrote it. It takes place in 1972 behind the scenes of The Tonight Show. So check it out. It's really, really good. But we did it in conjunction with the Carson Company, right? So we had clips. We got the full use of the catalog. So we pull a clip. From an actual Tonight Show, George Carlin or whoever my favorite comics of the day were. And that would sort of be in the background, but we had a fictitious show. So as we were writing the script, I would go into these archives and I would look up shows from 1972. I was 16. And I would watch, there's George Carlin, there's Steve Martin, there's Albert Brooks, there's Rodney. And I remember the set. And I remember what joke. I haven't seen the show in 50 years. But I remember because. I had to make the effort, just like the audience coming in. I had to stay up on a Tuesday night, you know, to 1150 when the first guest would come on. And so it was important to me. And I loved it. And I'm watching the George Carlin bit. I'm going, I know exactly. And then here he says this, and then he sits down. Whereas now, the good news, bad news is you can't miss anything. So like, oh, did you see Colbert last night? No, I'll have to watch it later. in the shower you know you can't miss it i kind of miss missing things like oh i missed it no you can't the beauty of missing something you're right i miss that too well yes so it's nice that you can always see something but what really impacted me impressed me was how long lasting those memories were for me and i imagine for others because during a kid you know wizard of oz was on once a year

Then you go, oh, it's on tonight, and you watch it because you can't see it any other way. It's like, well, now you can see anything anytime, so nothing is important. No, that's my whole theory. That's my whole theory is that we get so wound up about things, and the discourse around it is so intense. That by the time it gets to a certain point, I'm just like, I don't even know if I care about this anymore. I'm not watching this movie to enjoy it. I'm watching it to form my opinion about it. When somebody asked me at the dinner party, what do you think about this? Well, actually, I thought this. Ooh, that's an interesting take. It's difficult. So enjoyment is no longer even an element. I mean, Paul, I don't enjoy anything, really. I just kind of do it for this show and maybe to make money. You know what I mean? Those are kind of the two drives. The enjoyment is there, but we enjoy having other people think we have the best opinions and takes on things versus enjoying a record or a TV show or a movie or whatever. Well, that's why I was here, because I was told you do have the best opinions. That's right. That's right. I'm glad somebody's doing their job over there. Goddamn right, Paul. Somebody's doing their job. So I want to talk about Reboot because it seems like a very interesting kind of meta. plot line about a show being rebooted from i guess the 80s like an 80s sitcom being rebooted well that's what's really sad it's actually a show from 20 years ago which would be [redacted address] back is already in 2000s that's how yeah that does make me feel sad that does make me feel sad um and it's sort of like hulu is in the show and it's on hulu as well is what i gathered from the trailer so it's it's a show about And Steve Levitin had this idea when all these shows were being rebooted, he thought, well, that would be itself a funny premise for a show. As he tells the story, he said, I can't believe nobody else did it. He said he kept thinking somebody would do it. And then when they did, he said, I guess he should do it. So it is a full house type of show, very safe, soft family show. And it's a young, hip woman writer who wants to bring it back, but she wants to revitalize it and make it.

more socially relevant and change the very nature of sitcoms. So instead of everybody doing the right thing, these are going to be flawed characters with not necessarily neat endings. And I play the guy who created the original show, who's coming out of retirement because it's my show. You can't do it without me. but I want to keep it how it was. Can we just make it funny and cut out all the evolved social content? So for me, it was in that world to do a half-hour sitcom, but it's not about the sitcom. It's about how you make it. And the characters, the cast is unbelievably funny. Keegan-Michael Key, who's like another level genius of funny. Jesus, he's funny. Johnny Knoxville, who everybody knows is brave and... dumb, because he does really dumb things. But he's really funny and vulnerable and sweet. He's really, really great performance in the show. And Judy Greer and Rachel Bloom and Steve Levitan created it. He created Modern Family. So it was one of those things that's like, well, I can't not do this. This is really going to be great. And it was great fun. And it really does ring true. I mean, it feels like, I mean, there were days that I forgot I was doing a show about a show. I just thought I was in the show. And somebody said, well, aren't you afraid it's going to be too inside industry, too inside baseball? It's like, it's not. I mean, it's very accurate. And there are a couple of things that you'll enjoy more if you've been in a writer's room and you might just fly by work. But it is really, it's actually about characters who in a really funny way are rebooting their lives. Like they all need this for different reasons. So it's very textured, but it's really funny. It's really funny, and I hope we get to make some more because I had fun. I plan on watching it. Do you feel like you are also a part of that reboot in your own actual literal life happening at the same time? Did you see any parallels between your real life and the character in that show? Because you're sort of having a huge sort of renaissance right now with your career, I feel like. You know, I certainly related to the character.

It's a guy who used to be on TV who's now not. Just wants everything to be funny. We don't need to make a political statement every time. Yes, and I also can relate to not loving network note meetings. It wasn't me. It was definitely an exaggerated version. By definition, my character is like the old guard, so I had to be a little bit more old and out of touch than I like to think I am. But it was really great fun. Because it's shot on a set, and the other sets are walking on a studio lot. And I went, it feels like it actually is a show. And then we'd have our table reads. We had a scene about a table read, so they'd have the table. But we're actually doing a table read to read the script. And what is in the script? The script is they're having a table read. I need some Advil over here. This shit's giving me a hand. You're holding the script in your hand like, is this the script or is this the script about the script? So we're doing a scene and I had a prop script in my hand and the prop woman came over and says, you have your sides. She thought they were my lines from the show we were doing. So she took it out of my hand and gave me the Pretend script. I went, it's four pieces of white paper. Either way, you were actually looking at your lines. You know that, and I know that, but they think I'm holding the script that the show is about. If I'm going to be holding the script, it might as well have the one with the right words on it. Yes, it was surreal. It was very surreal. But it was great fun to flip the camera and be on the... other side of making a sitcom. So it's not about the sitcom show that's being filmed, but rather the personalities. And the funny thing about this idea of a reboot was it's 20 years later of a family show, so the little kid's not a cute little kid anymore. The other guy who went off to make movies, that didn't pan out. The other woman who married a really successful guy, well, that didn't work out. I thought I was retired, but they dragged me back in. So everybody has

you know, a shift in life. But it's just really fun. So I hope people watch it. It's on Hulu. I'll be watching it. Is it out now? It is out September 20th. Oh, that's a little bit of a wait. Jason, can you send me your login so I can watch it? As a guest. Oh, it actually was Hulu. Wait a minute. Was it Hulu? Yeah. So I don't want to bite the hand that feeds me because the following people that I'm going to tell you, they're all gone now. So the show that I was telling you about, the show that is now on Peacock called There's Johnny, was sort of an orphan. It was an orphan show. It was made by a little platform that folded as soon as we finished. What's the network that folded, Jason? CISO. Oh, never mind. I was thinking of the one that was short content. CISO, which is a subdivision of Comcast. Yeah. So it was meant to be comedy, and we were like the big. you know we were going to be their new big shiny object and then we broke them so so then but the show was great and comcast loved the show and then i remember talking to somebody we'll find a home and they put it on hulu for like a limited time for two years so the people that i was dealing with hulu were never were no longer there the people now at hulu were great so this is not about that so Very great. So it was really funny. And I was having the meetings like you see in Reboot. I was having those in real life. And I remember having a meeting like it was two weeks before the show was to premiere. And it was sort of an orphan show because it wasn't a Hulu original like Reboot is. And it wasn't, you know, the Hulu library like 30 Rock was like, you know what to do with it. Fell between the cracks. So I said, look, the show is airing in two weeks. Maybe a commercial, a promo. I don't see anything. Could I do a couple of podcasts? How can we spread the word? It got desperate. It got desperate. So I went up and I had a meeting with this young guy who was explaining to me all the algorithms. He goes, because when anybody watches Hulu for the first week, we're going to have it on the homepage. We're going to have a disc. If you like anybody who's in it, it'll fly. So all these are a million ways that people will find it once they're on Hulu.

Yes. I said, that's great. Let me ask you this. What if somebody doesn't have Hulu? And he just went, well, I don't know, whatever you can do. Can you get yourself on the Tonight Show? So cut to, I get myself, I did it tonight, all of my own. I do it on Tonight Show and this and I did Conan. I get on Conan and they're going to show a clip. And they said, no, Hulu didn't send a clip. They didn't send a clip. Was that my job? It shouldn't have been my job. No. So I said, jokingly but not jokingly, I said, listen, to the audience on television, I said, listen, it's a great show. Go get Hulu, but do the 30-day trial. Watch it. Enjoy it. And 29 days in, get out of there. And as I leave, in the back of my head, I'm thinking, that might not go down well up at the big Hulu. Sure enough, I get a call the next day from somebody, the head of Hulu, who tries to explain. He goes, you know, subscriptions, that's really how we make our money. I went, I understand. I understand. And by the way, promotion is how our shows get seen. So all the money that you didn't spend on. But I said, no, but I'm not joking. You know, clearly I was kidding. I'm on Conan. It's me and Conan. We're joking. I know, but people take that. So I had to go out and do a disclaimer. No. No. Oh, for God's sake, get the full, spend your money on Hulu for a year. Whatever. But it was like, oh, my God. And so there's one joke. It's in the trailer of Hulu, which is one of my favorite lines in the whole season, where the young executive comes over and says, oh, I just want to introduce myself. I'm new to Hulu. I'm new to humor. They say, oh, great, what do you do? I'm head of comedy. I'm new to humor. New to humor. But, I mean, that sounds like a hilarious premise, but those things have happened hundreds of times in the last five years. Hundreds of times. I had a meeting once years ago with Mad About You, and there was an executive change at NBC, and I met the new head of comedy.

who two months earlier was head of drama. And I went, what happened in July? Did you get funny? What was the shift that they said, you know where you should be? Instead of being sad, be funny. But I remember having a meeting. A man about you was being changed a lot. They were moving it around. You mean time slot wise? Time slot. So they kept moving it really to the detriment of the show and the audience. People said, I don't even know where it is. I don't even know. But I remember going up and it was a very pivotal moment, having a meeting with the head who's no longer there. And I'm sitting on a couch and there's a TV behind me and he's looking at me, but I see he's glancing up at the TV periodically. And I was saying, well, you know, it's really important that the show stay put for somewhere. Just pick a spot. I'm really pleading my case. And he kind of goes, I said, what's funny? He goes, no, no, Geraldo. He's like, what show are you talking about? He's watching Geraldo. You want some sushi, Paul? Geraldo's killing me right now. Paul, you were, let's go back to stand up. You just did a show in Orange County, my hometown. You just did a show in L.A. a few days ago. Yes. I'd like to know kind of the difference between those two crowds. if you noticed anything at all? No, not really. Not really? Crowds are usually the same. Orange County is a longer drive, so I was a little more sweaty. It's so funny. I'm playing a lot of theaters and performing arts centers, and just to sort of get the machinery going, I'm just doing some clubs. And in a way, I sort of prefer them because that's how we started. So, like, I like when people have a drink and there's some – the first time I started playing in theaters and the people are just sitting there with their coaches in their laps looking at me like, what are you staring at? This is not, you know, Hamilton. There's no show here. Talk amongst yourselves. Yeah, let me see a little – so I like the immediacy of a club. Thank God. And both those clubs, Burbank and Irvine I did, were, you know.

They're right in front of you, and I like them. Yeah, it's less of a performance and more of just everyone's hanging out and it's a whole thing. Yeah, but it should be. Not for everybody, but at least for me, I like the connection of seeing the people. I'm actually telling you these things. This is not a scripted show. I'm telling you some funny things that happened to me. It is a lot of give and take, and when they're right. There, there's a lot of gifts. Do you go see comedians? Do you go see concerts? Do you see bands play? Are you out like that? No, no. I'm at bed at 930. I don't go anywhere. No, I don't. Whenever I do, I go, oh, my gosh, this is fun. We should do this more. There was a great line in one of the Mad About You that my friend Vic Levin wrote. It was a few months after they had a kid. inching their way back to being intimate and sexual each other, and we're in therapy, and the therapist says something about like, well, do you, have you guys had sex? And the line that my friend wrote was, sex to us, it's like Canada, it's right there, but we never go. And that's how I can't agree about it as a show. But when you do, you go, we should do this more often. This is fantastic. That's how I feel. We talk a lot about restaurants and the L.A. dining community. And I would love to know where you're going. Are you hitting Mr. Chow? Are you hitting Medeo? Are you hitting Wexler's? What are we looking at? you know, on a weekly basis for you. First of all, you're presuming that I'm going out. I'm sure you're hitting some of Santa Monica's finest. Come on. You know, I couldn't off the top of my head even tell you where I eat. A lot of times a bag of stuff will be there and I'm like, thank you whoever picked this up. A bag of stuff? Yeah, it'll be like, you know, somebody will bring in some takeout or my wife will make something wonderful. If it was up to me, I would just be eating cereal and slowly die in a corner of a pile of my own.

Cheerios it is. Damn, okay. I thought maybe you would give us a deli ranking at least, but Cheerios it is. Cinnamon Toast Crunch for Paul. You know what? I don't think I've ever been to Wexel's downtown. I know it's great. I've had food from there, never been in there. What about like the 90s LA diner? There we go. You're over at Spago. You're at Ivy. You're doing Coke at Katana. Well, this will be useful for your audience. What restaurants did Paul eat in 30 years ago? Who wouldn't want to do that show? We don't care. Paul, unlike you, we don't care about our audience. That's what you've got to understand. We're out for only ourselves. See, I'm good friends with Phil Rosenthal, and he's having a big hit with this Somebody Feed Phil. So wherever I go, I'll go, Phil, Denver, where do I eat? They'll send me four places, and if I can, I'll go to them, but I don't remember where it is. Nothing goes in my head. I just drive there. If we go in L.A., he'll pick a place. I just park, and then I eat, and I go home. Nothing goes in my head. I love the idea of Phil dragging you to the middle of nowhere to have some food that's too spicy. He's a bit of a genius, and he's made this beautiful world. His show is great, and it really is. touching people because it's just about food, but it's really become about much more than food. It's really about community and living the world. Yeah. It's a great show. Because, by the way, sometimes I'll pick a place and I'll go, well, this is the best ramen in the world. I'll go, it's ramen. You know what I mean? Like, can you taste the difference? I go, to be honest. No, it's hot. It's like a noodle with West. You know, it's like I don't see it. Like, God bless, but I believe and I will swear to it that it's better than anywhere else because you told me. But a lot of times I don't, you know, I don't have that sophisticated a palate. But no, I actually was at an event of his where he premiered an episode of this season's show. And you go into that world and it's like going out like Rihanna. I mean, he's just huge. And he's that pretty. Off camera, he looks like Rihanna. You wouldn't think so. A thin Jewish guy. Yeah, it looks like that. But in the foodie world, I mean, it's like he's... No, he is. He goes on TV. He eats a bite of food.

Looks like a baby. Kind of makes the face of a baby. Yeah, let's badmouth the show. No, no, I mean, but that's what his draw is. That's his magnet. Better than the other way around. Better than to have a baby eat a food and make a face that makes him look like Phil Wilson. That would be, that's a show. I'm saying he has a childlike wonder for the culinary arts, you know what I mean? He does. He does. All right, I got to go do a show. He does. Okay, believe it or not. Yeah. When is this going to air? I don't know when this will air. Later this week. Okay. Well, this will be behind it, but I am now on the East Coast in South Carolina. Oh, beautiful. You'd think so. I'm about to do a show at 4 o'clock. Oh, this is stand-up at 4 p.m.? By the way, it's a Monday at 4 p.m. It's a Monday. And there's a show, it's a beautiful performing arts center. There's a show at 4 and 7.30. The late show is 7. So did Bingo cancel? Because it's a vacation-y, it's a vacation-y, upscale-y resort area. Are you in the, are you like outside of Charleston, I'm guessing? Not that far. It's on the island on Tilton Head. Oh, okay, okay. Okay, sure. That crowd's a little older. And this is a gig. It's a show that has been rescheduled like at least twice because of the last couple of years. I think it was going to be the summer of 20 and then they moved it. So I'm finally doing it. But I literally go to 2.30 and comedians pace themselves. Like 2.30 you start getting ready to go to the theater at 6 o'clock and the 8 o'clock curtain, 4 o'clock curtain. Four o'clock is me coming home from high school watching Superman. I don't know how to do a show. Sure, sure, sure, sure. So I'll have to come back another time and tell you if it is horrible or if it's. I'll need to know. I'll need to know. Absolutely. But no, Paul. And thank you for explaining because we assumed that that was just an excuse you were saying to get off this podcast. I would have gotten off anyway. I got to go do a show. If I may, a little of you guys goes a long way. That's going to be our quote for a book jacket. A little goes a long way. How long gone? Well, that's perfect because we only wanted a little. Well, you got it right, guys. Perfect. Thank you, Paul. Enjoy the show. All right, guys. We'll see you soon, man. Thanks again. Later. All right. Thank you. Take care.