411. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Everywhere in the city you walk around it's just DJ EDM noise everywhere. Oh, man, it's crazy. Yeah, I was listening to Fred again before you came over. Damn, are you Fred Peele? No, no, no. I was listening to Girl Puppy. I'm kidding. How Long Gone? We're back. Another classic one-on-one episode live from the East Village. We had a guest issue today. RIP. Not to the guest. RIP take. RIP takeoff. I guess he was playing dice in a bowling alley. Yeah. And something went wrong. Yeah, I heard, I mean, I'm sure by the time this comes out, everyone else will know, but I heard there was an altercation, and then one of the Migos' friends or security or something like that accidentally shot Takeoff in the melee. Oh, really? I don't know if that's true or confirmed or verified, but I heard... Like somebody posted on Twitter. Like it was going down. Yeah, there was an altercation. Something was about to pop off, and I think one of their friends or security guys or whatever, and someone on their team pulled out a gun, and I think he accidentally got a little. That's crazy. That's even more gnarly. Which is. I know. I know. God damn. I know. It's sad. It's sad. I didn't know he was only 28, actually.

I know, right? I feel like he's been a part of my life for so long. I've been playing Migos songs since he was... I guess it makes sense because the very first Migos songs, I love those ones the most. And the subject matter would be like wrestling and Hannah Montana. Yeah, that's true. I guess I can rock with this stuff. But then when you look back and like, oh, these people... We're 21. They're still in high... I mean, younger. Yeah, you're probably right. If he'd passed it 28, 10 years ago, he was in high school. Yeah, I guess that's true. Was it 10 years? Was Versace 10 years ago? I mean, the very first... Versace was the first thing, right? Like, it really popped? No way. Yeah, it was. Versace? Versace? I feel like when that remix came out, that's when they became, like, a real thing. I'm sure there's something before that, but... So Bando was 2012. Oh, okay. All right, shit. So, yeah, he was 18. Bando's 20... And there was stuff before Bando. But Bando was the breakout. Yeah, Bando, Chinatown, Hannah Montana. I forgot about Hannah Montana. What a classic. Hannah Montana! What a classic. R.I.P. Yeah, R.I.P. So, yeah, our guest was... Summoned to the newsroom. Yeah, was writing a piece about his passing, unfortunately. Obviously, that got moved to the front of the pile above how long gone. You're stuck with us. Jason's wearing a Scully in my apartment. I just want to give you guys a little visual here. Jason walked over to my apartment wearing Patagonia shorts. It's a 90-second walk, by the way. strut across soho he took fifth avenue down it's a tuesday at like one eight or like noon he took he's wearing his patagonia shorts his gone hoodie his egg house lot of scully and and crocs that he amazon primed because he forgot you like the color of the crocs though no you know i hate crocs I know they look like doo-doo, and I know you like that. I'm not talking about the Crocs themselves. I'm saying do you like the color store? It kind of matches the inside of the E-Class. I was getting homesick. I see. So you said let me get the espresso Crocs for the feet. Yeah, I've found that I'm purchasing more espresso-colored products after I became a Mercedes-Benz certified pre-owned driver. Okay, so.

So you're saying roadside assistance and all that stuff is all available. You need AAA when you have a certified pre-owned. So you're saying that because your new car, new old car, is... Don't come. Don't come for that. So your new old car has... The espresso... Buying a new car is a fool's errand. All my car heads out there know. Yeah, buying a car is a fool's errand. We lease, baby. I don't care what it does to my credit. I just want a new car as often as possible. So what is the actual name of the color? I know we've been over this, but I just... It might be... Is it mocha? I don't... I guess. Let me... I guess I could Google it. It's a mocha. It's an espresso. It's a dark roast. It's a mahogany. It's a 77% cacao. Mercedes Brown leather name. What do we got here? Leathermagic.com. It's crispy. I love the way it looks. I love the way it dances with the navy blue exterior paint job. Yeah, I mean, navy and brown bury me. So would you say that the inside is peanut butter, the outside is not jelly in this case? I'm on LeatherMagic.com. Okay. Is it mahogany? Mahogany seems... I don't know. That seems off to me. All right. Tell me about it. I was looking at a sweater yesterday. There's an espresso color as well. Oh, bruh. What is it? I think it might be... Tobacco. Oh, yeah, you're right. Cognac would have been nice, though. Cognac would have been nice, but I think that... Sorry, we're digressing. I think that's cool. Tobacco really fits for you. Actually, great question, follow-up question. I have not smoked inside my car yet. But you're a classic car smoker. Not like a woman that works at Hardee's going to her shift, but you've told me before that sometimes when you're blasting down Forest Lane, you roll the windows down the truck and have a cigarette while the sun comes up. I've smoked a cigarette in my car on rare occasions. It's not something that I like to do, but every once in a while, it feels good to be bad. I've heard that before. I think as long as you sit...

It's like an orgy or smoking indoor. There's things you can do to offset the damages, you know, lay a tarp down, open the window, blow it out through the fabric softener in the tube, incense, can, you know, whatever it is. But when I'm in the car and I'm having like a moment where like an actress in a movie just like screams. Yeah. Just like. Can't take it no more kind of thing. But also in a joyous way. Your life is extremely stressful, so I kind of understand how you could hit the wall on the road. Yeah. When KCRW isn't coming in, you've got to kind of bang. bang the dashboard to get the signal. I got to wiggle my rabbit ears. Well, it has to be a perfect storm of circumstances to smoke in the car. How many drinks have you had to have before you get behind the wheel? Well, that's the thing. Because if I can have too many drinks, then I don't want to smoke. Because you need to concentrate on getting home safe. I want to concentrate and I don't want to cause attention. I don't want it to be like, oh, who's this guy fucking hauling ass down Forest Lawn at four in the morning, windows down with a cig. You want to be as inconsistent. conspicuous as possible so you have to be sober enough to where if a cop pulled you over i could probably talk my way out of it and what's going on bud you listen you listen to the show oh do you need oh you do like you got an airpod in officer you must be listening to a podcast you got i gotta say i always back the blue i like all this i'm also a fan of the publish of the punisher comic book series Those are some great fables. Growing up, I kind of identified with the Punisher just like you, officer. I know it's bad to ask an officer this, but what do you do for your leg day? Because the way those calves are hitting on the side is something I've been chasing after. I see that you're wearing shorts, officer. That's a choice you have with your uniform, I believe. And I support that. You have to be... You know, a couple brewskis in. It has to not be too cold out. Okay, so you put on Springsteen. Now, is the window all the way down, or is it cracked? No, the window has to be all the way down, because I'll only do it cracked if I'm in somebody else's car. Because that's actually better, but then it makes the whole car smell like sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like a cold night, heater on, windows cracked, Parliament 100, blowing.

While you're listening to The Cure on cassette, clean up on Isle Me. But in my own car, I have to be listening to an uplifting, ethereal kind of moment. Bruce, don't do it for me. I was joking about Bruce. It's got to be a Bjork yoga. So you're saying, is it like sunrise set energy? Yeah, kind of. Well, is the sun rising or setting, I ask myself. No, it's the sun's rising. Okay, so it's a sunrise set vibe, and if the light is hitting you just right, you feel compelled. But you're saying in the new Mercedes-Benz, the all-new used Mercedes-Benz, you're going to... you're going to maybe try to not do this, or you think you're going to slip up soon and maybe have one? You know, like when your parents or your Asian girlfriend buys something and there's a thin plastic on it? Yeah, when I used to go to my grandma's house, it would be like that sometimes. Granny house is another situation where it happens where, you know, like... There's a lot. I'm sure my girlfriend's dad has many electrical items and equipment and VCRs, all that shit that still has the film on it. Do you see the film on my TV? You probably have to get up close, but I kind of kept it on. Did you really? I believe it. No, hell no. Actually, when we got the hood, the melee hood at the crib, I'm like, these motherfuckers forgot to take the plastic off. I had to get up there and do it myself. On show day, you had to do it yourself? It's crazy. It's crazy, and it was hard. I don't know if it was that hard. No, no. Well, because of the angle and because it's a thicker film than maybe some of the lower-priced products that you're speaking of. You want to play this game? No, no, no, I don't. I've had Miele in my house for at least 10 years. Oh, no, I'm not saying that. I'm talking about the film. Do you want to come for the stove? No, no, the film. Do you want to come for the Sub-Zero?

I'm saying the film is thicker than it is on a VCR, is what I'm saying. Yeah, and also on a nice stainless steel range that will hopefully never be turned on. I mean... The plastic has a little blue to it, doesn't it? Yes, it does. I had a feeling, sweetheart. It's the blue face plastic. Blue M&M plastic on the ring. So you're saying that that would be... Do you think smoking a cig in the car... What I'm saying is I like to leave the film on for a little bit, but at a certain point... oh i just gotta rip it's the big red button that you gotta you can only hold out for so long so what do we think we're gonna make it to 2022 or do we think this is coming holiday season i'll i'll finish up the year without smoking in i don't know bro if you get forced to go to like you know fam i haven't been i've driven like i've owned this car for like a month and a half two months now and i've i feel like i've driven it less than 10 times i just haven't i've either been out of town or Or if I do take the car, it's just like to the gym and back. You're not really getting to open it up kind of on the 101. I'm putting six miles a day on that bitch, if I even get in it. I also like to ride my bicycle on a nice day. Yeah, Jason has discovered. Keep the Nazi sled in the garage. Jason's been in New York for a couple days, and I see him changing. Like the leaves. We showed up last night for a taping of Alison Roman's famous YouTube program. What's it called? It has a name. Home Movies. Home Movies. So we showed up for a taping of Home Movies thinking that maybe David Cho, producer, executive producer. Dance Mom. Dance mom. You know, we show up and Jason, you know, he's wearing his cute little sweater and his big pants. And I'm like, what's up, chief? You're probably wearing a cute sweater and big pants, too. Suck my dick. I was wearing my Halloween costume. Oh, yeah. Double RL fit model. Thank you very much. You had your little Toy Story fit on. Bro, I look just like Kendall Jenner in my Toy Story fit. I have my little ass out.

Kendall's looking good in the Toy Story clip. Kendall is looking good. And she ruined that for children, which is another subject we can talk about later. I hope some of the youths of America do not follow her. I get there. We go to, of course, Alison Roman lives in a neighborhood in Brooklyn that looks like Boston. Boring Hill. And it's just fucking rammed with kids and, more annoyingly, parents being like, oh, my God, that building has great candy. Take Caper Leaf there. And so the... Cape Relief is the name of my non-binary child. Yeah, Cape Relief is my non-binary three-year-old. Her private school costs... Excuse me. Their private school costs $50,000 a year, but the coloring she's bringing home is inside the lines. It's really nice stuff. And if Caper kind of goes, we don't like to do the leash on the child. No, no, no. There's a Bluetooth collar. Of course, yeah. It's a small vibration. It doesn't shock them. We let Caper do their own thing because we feel like that's the best way. for them to express themselves. We're free-ranging them. We're free-ranging them. So we get to Boring Hill at the same time. I hop out of the Uber, and Jason's there. You hop out of the all-new Lincoln? Yeah, the all-new Lincoln Nautilus, which is the real pandemic in Uber in New York City. And Jason explains to me that he had just been city biking all afternoon. He was a chick from Wisconsin who was kind of like discovering the city. So are you saying that only women ride bicycles? No, no, no. I'm just saying that, like, it's... Or Michiganders? No, no, no. Locals, I think it's probably most used by locals, but your excitement about kind of unlocking the bike using your Lyft app, I think, really, really kind of... Well, they make it so easy. How can I not be excited? No, I mean, because I, you know, I've loved bicycle riding my whole life. Yeah, you're a recovering two-wheeler. I live my life on two wheels. I plan to ride my bicycle until the day I die. It's one of my most free – it's like some people wake up at 5 in the morning and go longboarding in Malibu with Diplo. You wake up with Diplo's dick in your hand. It's pumping two to three lefts. I'm going out there. Sure. You know, the sun's not even up yet. And so, you know, you do your Bears boot camp with your crop top wearing people named Paris. I have an update on Paris. Okay.

We have a Paris update. Let's go pay some bills. And you ride bikes. So you discovered the city bike. So Jason rode the bike, I believe, over a bridge? So I rode from Lower East Side. Okay. Basically, I did Katz's Deli over the Manhattan Bridge, which is not a picturesque ride. No, it's not. Compared to some of the other bridges on this town. Now, would you have your AirPods in for directions as well as a sunrise set on NTS? So, no, I usually – I don't listen to, like, intense music when I'm riding around the city because I feel too distracted because there's just so much going on. Of course. And, you know, car doors and people yelling. When you see a chick with a Dogtown sticker on her laptop, you don't want to wreck the city bike. I know. Because if you fall off a bridge, you could die. So you've got to be careful up there. That's right. Well, I mean, for me, the problem is there's so much graph to look at. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional.

as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada.

That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Are you carrying around your disposable Kodak to get graph pictures for your zine? I have my left hand is holding a cold brew. Splash a hole. And my right hand has my camera. full you know ready to go start flicking oh my god who's steering this thing okay so you're steering the city bike with your knees drinking a cold brew And you're taking, I'm sure you're using your kind of thumb, your classic TJ style. Of course. Reportage to kind of get the images. And the phone is on silent, so you won't hear that clicking sound. Of course. None of my victims hear the clicking sound. No, no, no. Okay, so you went from Lower East Side to Dumbo. Lower East Side to Dumbo, going up the bridge on a city bike, not as fun. Because the city bike is much heavier than your vintage cruiser. So, yeah, the city bike, it's a devil's creation. It has to be built that way so the urchins of New York City don't, you know, I guess eat it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Break it down for parts. At least light it on fire. Yeah, light it on fire, turn it into a drug somehow. There's definitely a way to smoke that shit. Yeah, come talk to me once you've smoked an entire city bike, okay? You don't have a fucking addiction problem. Bro, last night, oh shit, I took a city bike to the dome, bro. Bro, I'm only doing electrics right now. They charge for the minute, but it's worth it. I'm only doing electric. And I will never ride the electric. But my problem is, since I'm such a tall man, I need a very large, oversized bicycle that is, you know, there's like 10 of them in the country. The city bike is built for your mama, not me. Yeah, so are you able to get the seat? No offense. Are you able to, don't come for my mom, are you able to get the seat high enough? Fuck no. Okay, you're not. I mean, I max it out, of course. Yeah. Like you on your treadmill or whatever. I max it out all the way, but obviously it doesn't come anywhere near. So are TJ's knees coming above the handlebars while pedaling? Oh, yeah. Okay. Big time. So you're not able to kind of do a stand-up sprint? I can come off the saddle, but...

The geometry of the frame is not forgiving to my body shape and size. So if we saw that, we would be kind of running for the hills. Some of my fans might catch me in the prone position going down Houston Street. And it's a scene that I don't want to be spotted in. Well, luckily you're in Brooklyn where nobody knows you. Yeah, riding around Dumbo, I was like, this is a different state. I'm in Utah now. It's basically Salt Lake City by the sea. Dumbo is a very weird place. I don't really mind it for some reason. I don't mind it. I think it's a nice reprise from the city. Because that's your first time, I bet, right? I've been to Dumbo a couple times. But, I mean, I guess the last time I was there when I cut the ribbon with the big scissors at the Sweet Green Dumbo location. Well, it's a big office lunch culture. Office lunch, indoor rock climbing. My friend started a new brewery. It's across the street from the West Elm. What if I turned into a rock climber and I was like, Ask you to travel with my crash pad because I couldn't fit it in my carry-on. Bro, my brain dead crash pad. Is it called a crash pad? No, I'm sure it has a worse name than that. All my boulderers let us know, but... No, don't. Don't let us know. Please don't. No, I mean, we make fun of the things that we can't do or we choose not to do. I could choose to do it. I just honestly, Amardi... hurt his knee so badly doing that, like, for fun, to, like, try it, like, years ago, and it caused him so many problems. I was like, I'm never doing this. Damn. Like, it's not, it's just not worth it. And now what does Amar Deep do? Rides that beautiful bicycle all over time. He's in the best shape of his life. Best shape of his life, thanks to that. He'll cross your ass up and hit the fallback three as well. He will Eurostep, but he'll also ride 100 miles to get a donut. I don't think he's, I don't think he's, I think he's flirting with tennis, but I don't think he's really kind of. Okay. So anyway, we go to Roman's house. So yeah, I ride from Ludlow to Dumbo. Uh-huh. Dumbo to Boring Hill. Yeah. A lot of uphill in that one. So we get to this. So we're invited to this taping for home movies. And I'm thinking that this is maybe some sort of, I don't know. I was hoping it was a little more exclusive. You know what I'm saying? So you kind of got the feeling that Alice and Roman.

sent out a tweet or an Instagram saying like... I thought it was going to be 10 or 15 of her closest friends and family. Here's my home address, pull up. And it ended up looking like a line to get tickets for the national. You know what I mean? Like every guy in there is like... What does the average national ticket buyer look like, Chris? A guy with a beard that could lose 10 pounds wearing Blundstone boots that wants a cocktail. He wants a cocktail because he's... Because he got a babysitter for the night, and he's having fun. I got a sitter for the night. I'm having fun. I don't even care that it's Halloween. Yeah, yeah. I don't give a shit. Everybody there had a beard in Blundstones, except for my G. Hunter. Everyone there had a beard. And the other kind as well. But it was just like, so I thought this was a VIP experience. It turned into 50 people, you know. I didn't know anybody there except Hunter. Well, luckily we were cracking open a lot of chuggable reds, oranges, peaches, pinks, purples, and there was a nice spread of my favorite all-time shitty white people dip. Ruffles with the Lipton. Yeah, no, I had a great time. Allison, a little too much fresh cracked pepper on there. There's such a thing, sweetheart. Any time with Roman is time well spent, but I'm like, oh, maybe. I was like, oh, Jason, we'll be in some BTS footage. We'll kind of hammer home our relationship with CNN star Allison Roman and kind of her new cookbook. This is going to be good for business. So you didn't get a chance to build is what the problem is. Oh, that's not the problem, Jason. The problem is, because I don't eat these delicacies, they're like... What a beautiful piece of ham. They're like, Jason, get in here. They throw Jason in front of the... There's three cams. There's, first of all, three Steadicams, full lighting. We got the boom mic. I was very impressed by the... This is a very professional setup. It was a very professional setup. Roman house. I'm standing watching my illustrious co-host kind of get in there and chop it up with Roman, and I'm seeing a future.

where I think food media needs you back in some way because everyone is a nerd, and they need you to kind of make fun of them. Yeah. And I think that Roman needed it, and I think Roman appreciates it because she knows. Yeah, I think that's a very interesting point that you bring up because... I do agree with that. That's an interesting point that you bring up that I'm great. No, no, no. Well, I mean, first of all, I think it's cute that the only reason why I was chosen above you was because I eat ham and you don't. I agree that that is why this happened. I'm kidding. I actually love... I have no interest in being on camera in a situation where I would be forced to eat. That's not really my thing. Right. And also be forced to just say, mmm, yummy versus... dropping some of your sharp criticisms. Of course. I would never criticize. I know my place in the world when it comes to the food. No one wants my opinion, but it was beautiful to watch two of my faves kind of chop it up over a small ham sandwich. Improvise. Improvise. Just improvise. Yeah, the beautiful ham with some fennel seeds, coriander on top of that redacted soft potato roll. And a yummy King's Hawaiian. Hawaiian spelled as an X. It looked great, but also we had to kind of get out of there after Jason was free to go. We had a soft out. After Jason was released. That's a wrap for TJ. Everyone claps. How do I get... Can somebody take this mic off of me? The driver's outside. We need to get this mic off him now. But I agree that... The food media world needs somebody who can sort of bounce some of their ideas back off them and shine a mirror onto some of their just cucked existence. But the problem is I do that, but I come off – I'm still trying to figure out my footing on how to do it. Sure. Because it's so opposite direction on both sides. Like the whole food media world is so –

scared of saying anything opinionated whatsoever i don't even know if it's i think they're just really earnest yeah i mean there's definitely fear they have their reasons and i they're not wrong any of them like we do need to support and blah blah blah and everything's good and but like it's it's a little bit of the participation award kind of thing like To me, it's no fun if nobody has an opinion about it. If everything is good, then nothing's good, and I get so bored. So I get so frustrated in those situations that I fear that I come back a little too fierce for them, and then it's sort of... Were you able to control that impulse last night? I was white-knuckling it, and I was trying so hard to control my impulses, and I made like... Three racist jokes in a 45-second taping. The thing is that if anybody could handle you, it's probably Roman. You know what I mean? That's the thing. She could give it back. But I think that the reality is we've got to take this to the top. We're going to run TG up the flagpole. and we're going to figure it out. I think that the roundtable with you and Molly Baz could do some numbers, so I'm going to talk to you two about doing a ticketed... It's a red table cloth. Yeah, exactly. It's a red table cloth, but it's also going to be, I want to kind of lean into the trend of celebrity boxing. You guys wouldn't be fighting, of course, but I would want kind of like a weigh-in. I'm the Jake Paul of the Bon Appetit universe. I want you and Molly Baz to do one of those weigh-ins, but it's just like a dish tasting, and then I have to hold you back because you're like throwing a turkey sandwich at her. You know what I mean? Because there's too much mustard on it. My adorable casserole is better than yours, bitch. I think that would be good. Call that a fried challenge. But to continue our food-themed night, we had to rush to my favorite dramatically named bar in Lower Manhattan. Say it with me, Jason.

The river. Yeah, Springsteen voice. River next door to Dr. Clark's. Yeah, because friend of the show, Gray, was doing a dinner series that TJ had signed us up for. I like to support female-owned emerging voices in the culinary space. I do, too. And I have to say that it might have been the best tiramisu I've ever had. Oh, yeah. I think I might be correct. The format that they did at this dinner was very – it was just like 20 people, 70 bucks. You get an app, a main, a dessert, and then we're just kind of pouring you like fun wines throughout the whole thing. I hope you drank enough for both of us because I did tip healthily on Venmo. Oh, damn. I got you back, bro. I'm sure you do. Cats is on me for lunch. Yeah, that's what I want. Can I get two slices of bread toasted? That'll be $24. Yeah. So it was not a great value for some of our sober guests. Oh, but you know I don't care about value. You don't care about that. If you care about value. I think it's a cool, chill, casual way to do it. I agree. I'm not going to be making bank on this. It's closer to a break-even thing. But we're all just kind of doing it for fun and having a good time, make a little bit of money, pay the staff and everything like that. But it's a cool format where you just show up and, like, here's what we got. I agree. and and it was yeah but yeah that fucking um that tiramisu it was it was very very good and i'm not i don't like tiramisu because it usually makes me cough what because i inhale the powders i'm leaning down to take a bite no that's right and don't act like that hasn't happened to you it's happened to all of us if we've consumed i'm gonna give some visibility to the tiramisu coffers some people have different uh levels of excitement around powders is all i'm saying i'm not look don't bring ladder into this i'm not talking about ladder oh i understand i see i see some powders and i'm be like that's fun you see some powders and you're like no that is not true i just say i'm just saying maybe the way that i enunciate and speak and and

Gesticulate at the table. Gesticulate? Gesticulate. Yeah, I think that's the breakfast sandwich at Sweet Chip next door to my fucking hotel. Gesticulate? Ooh, it got hot honey on it, too. But we ran into our friend Emil, and the night took a turn. Emil Haney, producer extraordinaire. You know Emil Haney from his work with people like Kid Cudi. Mark Ronson. SZA. FK Twigs. Twigs. I mean, the list goes on. Sure. Maybe DJ Premier. Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. West Side Gun. Don't forget. Yeah, yeah. My dusty hip-hop head, Emile, is like, you know, it's 930. Margiela down to the dick, too. He looked great. He did look amazing. When is he not splashing? Emile always looks great. So we run into him. We're talking, you know, blah, blah, blah. He's like, you know what? We're going to go back to my place. I'm like. It's a Monday at 945, but I can see it in TJ's eyes that we're going back to Emile's place because TJ wants to smoke a cigarette and have some more chuggable reds. Yeah, I'm in New York City. Do I want to walk up a five-story walk-up to a dazzling loft with hi-fi speakers in it that cost more than my car? I do want to do that. So we go back to Emile's house. We made it all the way up the stairs. He's got such a chonker of a cat. That's what I want to talk about. Indoor smoking is allowed. That's what I want to talk about. I've been to a lot of Emile's abodes in our relationship as friends. It's actually pronounced abode. Marvin, his cat. You guys know I'm not an animal person, but Jason, I walk into this apartment. I'm admiring the piano, the beautiful book collection, the pink marble bathtub. Magnum after magnum. I'm like, Jason, where are you? and this bitch is in there petting a cat taking selfies with a cat and i'm like this is not a regular cat this is i mean if you've seen my instagram story i posted it today but it's like it's one of those cats where you see it and you're like oh damn bro like it's it just looks like a cartoon i agree it does look like a cartoon if there's a cat that is cool looking this is that cat yeah

And they're nice, and they have a pleasing disposition. No, that's true. They want to rub against you and all that stuff. So Jason is sitting on the couch drinking his wine, having a conversation, and Marvin has just kind of placed his big old melon on Jason's tiny pin thigh. And I'm kind of worried that Marvin's heft. could actually could actually bruise i do have some bruising what you call a leg you know and i luckily what you call a leg i'm looking today and it doesn't look like marvin caused any damage my it band is fucking crushed because i wouldn't want to have to send a meal you said that cat weighed 20 pounds i know i wouldn't want to send a meal a bill that would feel rude after he hosted us in his home but if you had to have a contusion worked out that would i mean that's not coming out of how long gone budget Yeah, I mean, if you think I'll be able to walk for the next couple days, you've got nothing coming. This is a problem. But yeah, so I didn't get home until midnight on a Monday. And I had a great time. We made new friends. It was fun. I walked home in the rain solo on my burial shit. Jason in New York is really a different animal. He's open for whatevs. Yeah, but my what if so far is pretty mild. I'm not saying it's extreme. I'm just saying that I think that the situation we were in last night, neither of us would be in in Los Angeles. One thousand percent. That's the beauty of this. That is the beauty of the town. I agree. And I'm happy I stayed out late and I woke up this morning and I felt, you know, not great. But I was able to go to Barry's where I am on the treadmill. Let's get right on that mic for this Paris chat. The class has started. Chris is in Paris. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Guess who gets on the treadmill next to me as a student? Paris. Paris. The teacher becomes a student. The teacher becomes a student. Paris walks in. This man is wearing the two-inch Nike marathon shorts with the cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The tank top. Coochie cutter. The tank top dips down so you can see the top of the 12 abs. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. And at first, he's like.

I'm like, oh, but he's taking it easy. He's just warming up. Of course, then he starts sprinting on a 15, 16. That's a different story. We get down on the floor, and I'm like, let's see what this motherfucker is made of. He's made of quite a lot. Okay. Quite a lot. He was using a 40. He did some shit to you that you ain't never had before. He was using a 40-pound dumbbell set for squat presses. 40-pound dumbbell set, so a 40 in each arm. 40 in each hand for multiple sets of squat presses. So that's where you got them in your hand, you squat down, and when you come up, then you push them up over your head. Mama mia. Like, I can do 10 of those, you know? He was doing 40 of those. And then Grandpa starts getting a little gas. But his ass was touching the ground, too. Really? My mobility on the squat is not. I can't get that low. So hole straight to the mat. Exactly. So my point is this guy is haunting me as a fantastic athlete, and I like to be on the other end of his abuse, but it's also nice to be inspired by his performance in another class. He's the carrot being dangled that you're chasing after. But being right next to someone who's kind of on that level today when I wasn't feeling maybe my best did inspire me to do better. No, of course. The only way to get better is compete with people better than you, you know? That's true. That's how you find, oh my god, there's another level to this atmosphere. I'm always trying to unlock another level. With your online chess. With your gift wrapping. Yeah, exactly. You know, all the stuff that you're trying to improve. It's true. I need to kind of link up with some professional gift wrappers this holiday season. I'm sure your fucking ass knows a few in this town. I've never wrapped a present. You know I pay people to do that. Do you pay people to wrap? No, really? I've never wrapped a present. That, I believe, but... Yeah, you pay. You just drop them off. You pick out the papers. It's got to be chic. Pick out a nice ribbon. Is there a name for this business? Or are there multiple places that do this? Or is there like a one spot? No, there's multiple. There's usually like... I think there's like a...

paper source, a kind of a corporate place that will do it that doesn't do a bad job. And there's usually kind of a local place. I'm sure there's like a place on Larchmont. You know what I mean? You could go to one of those big corporate places like Papyrus. Yeah. You would go to Starbucks to get yours done. I would go to Ludlow Coffee Supply. Oh, so cool. So it's like supporting the small business. But I would say this holiday season, if you're short on time because you're building an empire like we are. Get your presents wrapped. It's $5 to $10 per gift. Do you don't have your life partner wrapped for you? I mean, she would probably prefer that, but I like to kind of take things. I do the gifts on my own. Yeah, you do take ownership over gift giving because it's one of your pleasures, so that makes sense. I love giving gifts, and if they're wrapped right, I think it does make a nice presentation. I would like to work on some custom wrapping paper, actually. Oh, shit. I think that would be cool. People make a lot of money doing that. Like, Carolyn found last Christmas, like, some website where, like, each roll is, like, 40 bucks or something like that. But it's just, like, here's, like, five roll wrapping papers that are just, like, shitting on the competition. It's so cool. It's like what wallpapers turn into. You're like, oh, this is hand-painted. Hand-painted? Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I'm going to be sick. You're not ready for that conversation. Luckily for me, I mean, I'm pretty good at wrapping a present. It's not that hard to do, obviously. Are you also an origamist? No. Okay. I mean, well, I guess I have folded, so. I know you're not great at folding laundry. I've kind of seen your work there. That's false. It's not precision great. I use the Marie Kondo method, bitch. Oh, do you? Yeah. Do you have a t-shirt folding board? I hang on my t-shirts. Oh, that's right. I have a t-shirt folding board. The socks get a certain fold, the shorts, like everything. Did you watch Marie Kondo or did you just look this up after the fact and subscribe? I think somebody sent me the PDF of the book when it first came out, and I kind of just skimmed. I read past all the philosophies. You found a takeaway that worked for you. Yeah, I found the cheat sheet where the basic is just like...

Take all the shit you don't need anymore and throw it away and just do it. That's fine. But the only other thing I retained was folding the clothes. Well, you didn't throw any shit away. I've seen your cluttered office. I throw shit away all the time, believe it or not. But there's just so much coming in that it's, you know, sometimes you can't. When you become kind of the face of legal cannabis, I know it's hard to kind of organize all of the treats. All the tree treats. Well, my house is just too tiny, I guess. I need a separate room. I need a wrapping room. I think there is a part of being an influencer where you do need a room for just your products. My swag room. And I'm ready for you to get there. All of my Netflix cookies, where are they going to go? I can't wait for you to get there. Yeah, these Netflix cookies, I just remembered. Someone sent me a box of like 20 cookies. The box was like as big as like a flat screen TV. This massive fucking box. I'm like, oh shit, somebody sent me like... Some crazy shit, but it was like a bunch of cookies individually wrapped, and I ate a few of them. They were very good. There was a banana one that was really good. Oh, yeah, that's what I reached for, a banana cookie. They said that that was their piece de resistance. I forget the name of this brand, but it's like a cookie delivery service. I don't know. There's a zillion of them nowadays. It's no insomnia, I'll tell you that. Yeah. The triple OG of this shit. Yeah, I'm sure the sharks passed on this one. But... Well, actually, I'll make this easier for you. I'm out. I'm willing to offer you $200,000 for 78% of your... I'm willing to offer you $250 for 97% of the company, and I will not serve on the board. Look, Baldy, I don't like that valuation one bit. But I was like, I was talking to Carolyn, and I was like, what are you giving the fucking trick-or-treaters? And she's like, yeah, I just put all those cookies out in a bowl on the fucking doorstep. I'm like, damn, bitch, those cookies are like three weeks old. And she's like, I ate one, it's still good. I told Al, turn the lights off and lock the door. I will never, ever give out a piece of candy. Even when you're out of town, you're not going to let. No, bro, fuck, fuck Halloween. I don't want to participate one little bit. I hate it. I don't like Halloween one little bit. I don't give a shit. And I wish somebody would come lay on top of me and stop them.

I dare you to try to lock me up, officer. But your girl likes holidays and things like that. You're out of town. You're across the fucking country. It's dangerous. It's dangerous. I guess it is dangerous in your neighborhood. Oh, yeah, okay. Roaches and rats, bars on the windows. Bro, you don't know. I'm starting to think maybe these kids. From the schlams. I just think that this fentanyl shit, bro, it could be. What if the kid is like. cute kid. It's like, oh, I want to give you something. You're cute, you know? You pop a sweet tart in, you're dead. Damn, your ass sound like Fox News watching. Bro, Tucker told me this fentanyl shit is real, bro. Tucker said, Tucker took off his blazer and I knew he meant business and he was saying this fentanyl shit is in all the candy. I need king-size fent, too. None of this little shit. Don't give me a bite-size fent. Okay, no, but yeah, I guess you don't want, you know. You don't want your girl to be alone opening the door to some stranger. I guess that's a good point. I think Halloween, as a Christian, I think Halloween is the devil's holiday. Oh, shit. And I'm kind of sick of this agenda. You don't like this pagan poetry. No, this is fun. It's cute. Is it fun? Is it cute? Is rotting in hell fun and cute? I think that Halloween, you know. once you stop being into candy, which you should stop being into candy. I've never stopped being into candy, so that's why I kind of struggle. Oh, interesting. I mean, candy's what's not to love? If I was your therapist, I'd be like, let's use that as our starting point for next week's session. I know you don't like candy, but I bet like... Alcohol, my candy. I bet there's been times in your life, I mean, I remember as a kid just being like, chubby little me, I get some raisins. They closed that door. I'm winding up like Randy Johnson. The raisins are going right back at that door. Really? Fuck yeah. Bro, you give me raisins or an apple, I'm throwing it at you. I'm throwing it at the door. Those are just Halloween rules. That's just, I've never bag snatched. I've never had my bag. For somebody who hates Halloween, you know a lot about it.

There's nothing to know, bro. You said bag snatching? You don't know about bag snatching? I can kind of use the context clues and piece together what it might mean. That's what's happening in Beverly Hills when you leave your watch out, when you're dining on the corner. But no, it's bag snatching. AP snatching. Yeah, bag snatching is a classic Halloween. Run that Goyard wallet, too. Give me the rest of that Caesar sauce. Chicken Caesar wrap. You know what? That bread looks pretty good. Put that in, too. Put the butter in while you're at it. No, I think that the bag snatching is probably... I feel like parents are more involved now. They have to be. Because also, I'm sure if you're 13, you dress up like... You're wearing all Supreme, you know, and you're just going out to rob kids of their Reese's. You got head-to-toe Supreme with your fucking 6'9 mask on. Bro, all right. I got it. What are you for Halloween this year? XXXTentacion. RIP your bag. Snatched it. Yeah, I don't think Halloween, because I told you about my kind of personal issue I had on... The Devil's Holiday on Sunday night, where it was the music. Refresh my memory. The music in the neighborhood. The volume was frightful? The volume was so loud in my neighborhood that I couldn't sleep until past 1 a.m., which, as you know, for me is more of a get-up time than a sleep time. Yeah, that's crazy. And I had to get up, and I went out. I climbed out. in my brooks brothers uh oxford cloth boxer shorts onto the fire escape to try to place this has happened for the whole time i've lived here like it gets loud but this was piercing this was vibrating my innards okay is this facing out onto the street or is this in the inner what i'm believing what i'm believing what i've come to believe and i'm no i'm not an acoustician or anything but i believe we're just speculating here that the that it's a club

that backs up like the back of it is outside and it's here so it's an echo chamber and they play like it was so loud my teeth were rattling i was trying to read my book i couldn't concentrate i have my white noise on and then i had to do something i've never done before i went to fucking sicko mode i had to put airpods in with white noise and sleep on my back what is the back part of it I usually am a stomach sleeper or a side sleeper, but because of the AirPods and securing them in my canals, I had to stay. So you normally sleep in the bottom position, and you had to go flip it around. I had to flip it around. Damn, dude. And I feel terrible. I still haven't recovered because we were out so late last night. What kind of music were they playing? Extremely loud hits. That's the other problem. I know the words. I throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Because when I know the words, I can't. It makes it worse. This is why I like listening to instrumental music. The bass patterns, of course, I recognize as a programmer myself. As a beat technician. As a technician. But it's been a tough couple days for me. And my body feels pretty good, but I need to... to kind of take tonight to reset because tomorrow night we have Vim Jean's DJ set live at Ludlow House. I guess that's tonight, yeah. With all your favorite Trustafarian global citizens. Yeah, if you're a friend of the show, send Chris an email or a DM and he'll carry on the list. If you work remotely, you know where to find us. Chris, you need to have, because like your house in LA and your house in New York are both in kind of hot spots with a lot of action and noise and stuff going on. Do you need to get some type of cottage upstate? Do you need the J-Tree Winnebago? Where are you going to go to find your solace? I think I'm going to look into extreme soundproofing for windows. I would spend five grand to get two windows that are just jail-level soundproof. But will that do it? Because these old plaster walls are probably not... I think it would. I think it would do it enough where it would be fine.

No, it really is a problem, and I do love the action, and it usually doesn't bother me. But if there's noise when I'm sleeping, you remember the story where I threw eggs at the neighbor? Sure. To me, there's just some things we don't do, lines we don't cross. Loud music at night, we don't cross that line. So you're like the local neighborhood kind of narc guy? No, no, I would never call 911 or even 311. I'll do citizen's justice. No, no, no, you don't. Yeah, you never call. You might go on the fire escape and drop a bucket of water on some people who are carrying on downstairs. These pussies, they ain't ready for it. As soon as you knock on the door, the music shuts off. They don't want to come to the door. They don't want the smoke because they know they're in the wrong. They know. All I want is a peaceful... Put your mic next to the floor and let's see what a Chris Black knock sounds like. Old narc-ass knock. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. The key to a scary knock, not the knuckles. Side of the hand. Side of the hand. Side of the hand feels... No, uh-uh. You want side of the hand. Knuckles says, hidey-ho, neighbor. Uh-huh. Side of the hand said, we... You're about to mess around and find out. You're about to beep around and find out. And I've had to do this many times in my life because I choose to live in these hot spots. And maybe if I wanted to relocate to Boring Hill and be a loser, I would have a lot of other problems. You probably couldn't sleep over in Boring Hill either. All those kids running around? So many kids. It's like a Sesame Street taping. I did see a lot of dogs wearing hot dog costumes. Oh, that was so awesome. That hurt my hand a little bit. But speaking of costumes, there's... Yeah, you really committed to the bit, and now your neighbor is going to come and knock on you. I know, they're like, bro, why are you banging on the floor? Why are you fucking doing your tap dancing again? But speaking of costumes, I think that there are some Halloween costumes that are finally ready to be retired. Okay, what's coming down? Fifth element chick. I saw four fifth element chicks of varying success rates.

On the TL? You mean like their life is varying success rates or the quality of the costume? First of all, I've never seen that movie. So I had to ask you what that costume is. But I've seen every single year for the last 10 years. Since that movie came out, I've seen 10 people wearing that costume. Because it's a classic. It's a classic. I can get my body out, but it's like a movie people love. I can get my... Well, people used to love. I don't think people really even... Who's in that movie? Mila Djokovic. Djokovic. But, like, she's iconic in that movie. She has this red hair, and she's wearing this crazy thingy, and it's so hot and sexy. And, like, you could do it with, like, I had it professionally. You know, Vivian Westwood made a one-of-one version of it. Or you can just, like, wrap your titties in toilet paper, and you kind of got the same vibe. These chicks got, they went to Spirit to get the wig, and then they got the toilet paper out. But I think it's, that one I'm ready for us to be all done with. I don't even know, I don't know why, because it is, like, It is a sexy costume to look at if you see an attractive person wearing this costume. Me likey, but... I think the problem is... No offense to all of our fifth lists. I find that costume less offensive than costumes that are meme-based. Like a viral moment meme? A viral moment costume that you need context for is, to me, the dumbest thing you can possibly do. Like... Like Kylie or Kendall Jenner being a cucumber? Yeah, it's like that's not funny. Also, that whole – Just be a cucumber. This thing that celebrities do now where they're like, all right, I'm spending 20 bands on the costume and the photo shoot for Instagram. What is the payoff? Like what is the point of that? It's content. No, I understand. I'm familiar with content, but I'm saying like is there a – Is it just like I have to participate in this at this level because my homegirls are doing that? Well, yeah. What I've noticed is – Halloween no longer. Every Halloween party is awful. Trick-or-treating is for children. And Halloween is just about the photo now. That's all it is. Because there's nothing else to do. I haven't been to a good Halloween party since 2004. That's because they don't exist.

I don't know. It really is all about the photo, though. And it's just like Halloween, it's the same reason why National Pizza Day exists and why all this exists. That's a holiday I actually respect. But this goes back to my theory, and one of the things that kind of beyond Chris' error, kind of one of the things that I'm pushing is to abolish all holidays. No more holidays. No more holidays. What good do they do us? They're for children. Well, now that content is king. Holidays are never going to be abolished. Should we take a how-long-gone Christmas car picture of you and I wearing white t-shirts and khakis on a beach? You know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying. That's a cool southern... And they also do that in Newport. It's a very big Newport thing. That would be cool for us, I think. You can get the dog out there. One person's doing a jump kind of thing. I think that holidays are more of a problem than they are a positive. For you, yes. But for the lay people of the world, it's... I'm saying, what if we gave you the time off? What if you still got the time off, but you didn't have to spend time with your family? You didn't have to cook? You didn't have to buy a tree that's going to shed all over the fucking rug? Think about it. Think about it. What if you didn't have to celebrate Thanksgiving, a terrible holiday? Well, some people like their family. I'm not... But you can still do that, but I don't think the pretense is necessary. Yeah. I love my family and I can see them anytime. But I think the pressure to see someone at a certain time when everyone's like all wound up because I forgot the gift and the cake is burning, you know, whatever. It's like all that. The mall was a mess. I couldn't get the Game Boy. You know, my dad goes to the mall to shop. three days before Christmas every year and complains about it. I'm going down to Macy's and see what I could wrestle at. Every year he complains to my dad, you know that you could do this online or just earlier. I'm saying it's just not necessary. There's a way, I mean, I think it would affect the economy negatively, unfortunately, which that I'm not a fan of. Yeah. So your logic is sort of when you go to a restaurant and you ask, are there any specials on the menu? And they say, everything on the menu is special. We don't need to have a holiday to do.

Just do it all year round. Can you imagine what people have spent on ornaments alone? What a waste. I mean, how much I've spent on ornaments. I know you have the entire peanuts collection, and they're nice, and I know they're hand-blown glass, but it's still... They are heirlooms at this point. They've been passed out through generations. But I think holidays now are literally... It's the equivalent of when somebody clearly posts a fake thing on their social media where it says, A lot of you guys have been asking me about my skincare routine, so here it goes. And it's like a lot of you people have been asking me to dress up like a slut, so I'm going to dress up like a slut today. That's true. That's what Halloween is for sure. Or like a lot of, it's just, it's for people who are like, wouldn't it be awesome if I dressed up like The Rock? Because he's my favorite actor. and he actually used to be a wrestler before, and he's so buff and he looks awesome. What if I could walk around dressed as The Rock? Oh, man. And then Halloween gives you a reason to. That's true. And there's a lot of people whose brains work like that and bless their hearts. No, it is a bless their heart situation, absolutely. But I think that we're going to be winding holidays down in the next 20 to 25 years. I think Christmas will be the only one that remains. I think that New Year's will be the only one that remains because it... sort of technically has to happen with the passing of time because as our dystopian future comes nearer and nearer, it'll be the same reason where it's like, how am I supposed to celebrate blah, blah, like when COVID was going on? It's like, well, I mean, how do I have Easter when there's a global pandemic going on? It's going to get to the point where it's like... People are sleeping with a knife in their hand and a go bag underneath their bed, and you've got to look out because people are like, oh, it's Flag Day today. Nobody's going to care about any holidays. I don't think I've ever had fun on New Year's in my entire adult life.

I've had fun a couple times. Or maybe I've had fun for a couple hours, and then it kind of goes away. I don't want it to go. Everyone has had one epic New Year's night and only one, and then you spend the rest of your 20s and 30s chasing that. You never quite get there, and then once you hit your late 30s, then you start... Going to bed before midnight. Well, you start going to bed before midnight, but you hit a certain age where you know... all the pros and cons to the situation and the cons begin to outweigh the pros you know it's the same thing with with cocaine and going out on you know just like oh the uber and the whole you think about it you think about it too hard and you have to go to some club they're gonna charge us like a hundred dollars to get in and i won't even like the music and i won't have a place to sit down unless i buy a bottle of Jose Cuervo for $1,100. Well, the new show has come out on Thursdays, so I can't miss that. My new show. I think I'll stay at home with my Abbott Elementary Marathon and my Boom Chicka Pop guilt-free munching. Lastly, I wanted to talk about the Twitter blue checkmark. Price going up. This is something I don't want to talk about. Oh, really? I'm just kidding. Well, I think that I would pay for the Instagram check, but I don't know if I would care to pay for the Twitter check. I don't see any inherent value. I would pay for it because I'm so used to seeing it, but I also know that there's nothing lamer than paying for it. It completely negates the entire thing. I kind of. It ain't tricking if you got it does not apply to the blue check. I don't think. Yeah. Somebody was like, isn't this like your parking thing? You're trying to pay the most. I'm like, no, it's not. It's very different. That's a fair. But I think that what's going to happen is I think obviously your boy Stephen King was like, fuck out of here, Elon. And Elon's like, come on, bro. How about eight? How about eight? Let me hold eight. Stephen King said, I'm about to be gone like Enron were his words that he said.

You wanted to speak in terms that Elon would understand. Yeah, so I don't see – $20 sounds a little steep. $20 sounds insane because it's also – I think that it's like assuming that people – it's not like Twitter verification means you're famous. It's mostly like journalists with 400 followers that worked at BuzzFeed once. Yeah. Like it's not people with money. And that reminds me of – I was looking at the Drudge Report headline, and it said something like, Musk the Dangerous charging $20 to the world's richest. Too good. 85% of people verified on Twitter make $300 a month writing articles about shoes. It is not the world's richest. I think that he's going to back off of it, to be honest. He's already down to $8 a month. I think he came out hot, and I think people were like... bro like we thought this was funny but if you start charging us money i think most people don't i care a lot and i still am like i don't know there's a lot of people i mean i well my theory which was a little bit of a stoner thought but no not you but i think it has some weight to it is i think it should be run like a like a domain name purchase like if you go on go daddy and you want to buy Coca-Cola.com or Pizza.com is going to run you a check. But if I want to buy Purple Door Underwear Company 69, to get that, it's going to cost 99 cents a month or 10 bucks a year. If it has to go this way, that's not a bad theory, not a bad idea. But I think he's going to back down, I think, this whole thing. It'll be a good model for our... taxing the poor and not the rich. But the worst part about all this is people online being like, well, it's been fun. Here we go. What's the next social media app? Because Twitter's over. Right, right, right. A fascist is in charge. Twitter ain't going to be over. Guys, there's a fascist in charge of every business. You know what I mean? You want to go hang out with Zuck instead? Yeah, like, what are you? You're going to delete LinkedIn now, Chief? You need a job. You want a skinny nerd or a fat nerd running your shit? I just don't. People just... Now the Zuck doing boxing and shit? Bro, Zuck's about to be...

It's Zuck season. It's Zuck season. He's about to lap you, little hoes. Now when you talk shit to him, he'll rub the sunscreen off his face and beat your ass. Hit you with the little roundhouse. He'll do a jumping knee. I have been hanging out with Joseph Rogan, and I have learned some sweeping kicks. Joseph and I have been in my meta dojo after I do my longboard water skiing. No, he's doing paddleboarding. He's a big paddleboarder. Well, I mean, a Hawaiian paddleboard. I don't need my coffee in the morning. I'm awake when I see the sun come up over my lagoon. Fistful of macadamia. Him having the meta dojo in the crib, where it's just instead of the logo on the wall, it's his AI character from meta in some show-yo role. Well, yeah, in the show, you'll roll gi. And he's like, good morning, Master Zuck. Do you want your acai bowl? And he's like, I trained him how to say acai the right way. It would be so cool if he started being like, oh, yeah, I'm down here with Pat from Ruka for the weekend. I don't know. He's just cool, man. He brought all the guys out. Maddie came to cook some burgers. We're just going to get some rolls on. I mean, I don't know. Actually, I did stop drinking. Yeah, so I've been sober for like three months. So it's like, I don't know. I mean, these guys are cool, man. Yeah, but some of the guys are going to be pre-gaming, but I don't even mind, even though I'm not drinking right now. And then we'll probably just go out to some of the clubs. You know what I mean? Orange County, actually, like, I never spent much time here, but the nightlife is pretty cool. Dude, and when we come home, I think we're going to, like, order, like, a bunch of pizzas. So if you guys want to cruise, just, like, get after it. I need to see the Zuck show your role geek collab.

Yeah. How long gone listeners? Photoshop a nice Mark Zuckerberg. Just the gi with like maybe we got Mark's head on the front left breast and the back just says meta Mark. Yeah. We need to have the Ruka undefeated meta XXX. Yeah. Y'all heads in. It's going to be like the cause. Yeah. Comme des garçons. Like next level collab status. Epic stuff. All right, guys. Thank you for listening. Today is Wednesday, Friday. We have a couple more tickets for our show, I think. Yeah, there's probably a few left. Music Hall of Williamsburg. Doors are at 8 p.m. How long gone? 9 p.m. Our guest, Hari Neff, will be arriving by chauffeured car. And then also... Last show of the year just announced How Long Gone in beautiful Seattle. We're coming back. If anybody wants to give us an Amazon factory tour, let me know. We're at Madame Lou's on December the 15th. We're looking forward to it. We had a really great time in Seattle last time. Yeah, that's a shining example of we come to your city. We like it. You like us. It's a great idea. Then we do it again. So if you live in San Francisco. Maybe there's an Amtrak that you can take up to Seattle or a JSX flight. It's probably beautiful this time of year. But, yeah, we'll see you in Seattle December the 15th. I think tickets are on sale Friday. I don't know. You'll see it on social media. Madam Luz, Seattle, December 15th. High ticket warning. High ticket warning. They just dropped, bro. And we will see you all on Friday in New York. And we'll see you tonight at the Ludlow House. Don't forget to send Chris a DM with your information. Don't forget. And if you think you're a better DJ than Jason, please bring your sticks. Double part, double part, parallel part, and I pick up their back with a spark. So many artists can't even say rap with them pieces, so I don't know where to start. Shopping cart when I go pick up my dark. So many animals like Noah's Ark. Hop on a chart and I pop me a break, and say, pull me a 4-4-4, it gets a part. I like the cat if I pull, pull a moment, we'll pop it, and I got the one on my cart. Make your whole ride along with me, y'all up in it, be like y'all be feeling like giving heart. Back up that camera, pop out when I park. Act up that circle, come out at the door. Niggas don't act like they bite the luck till you pull up on them city, this night.

We'll be back. It's a long day. We don't want nobody.