362. - Brynn Wallner

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How Long Gone Breaking News. A friend of the show, Ghislaine Maxwell, sentenced to 20 years. She's doing a damn bid. jason what's the over under on suicide they thought she was on suicide watch before the sentencing when when that was going to happen 20 year i mean how old is she what 60 something like that she could make it out bro she could she could make it out she could live through this courtney love voice but i just don't know right i don't know if she's got the mental fortitude she's got the mental fortitude absolutely she's gonna be running running shit at rikers you know she can finally finish that book or whatever yeah yeah i always know but it's it's a pretty i mean but 20 years if you're a senior citizen even if you are you know as as much of a monster as she is you know i mean cosby's already out he he got fucking 18 days or some shit you know no she could she could get off on good behavior you know what i mean but yeah she is i mean 20 i don't know 20 years seems like a lot but also a little bit she'll do nine you know she'll do nine yeah yeah she'll she'll do nine um and then she'll be back at in and out in like san diego um god what a what a world speaking of One of child trafficking, Baldwin did a live chat with Woody Allen I saw. I haven't had a chance to listen to it. I was too busy at Equinox. It's pretty crazy that they closed the comments. I mean, first and foremost. Were you shocked to see that the comment section was closed on that one? I just don't know what purpose that serves. Baldwin must love to hate himself.

The way that Baldwin acts, like, after you accidentally shoot someone, which, like, you can kind of recover from because I think it truly was an accident. It was deeply fucked up, but I do truly think it was an accident. Like, Alec Baldwin didn't purposely murder someone on a movie set. Well, we don't know. We can't be sure, but I just don't see that. We can't be sure, but it's very likely implausible that it wasn't an actual accident. So your wife lies about where she's from. You've got eight kids. You've called your daughter a pig. You fight the paparazzi. All this stuff is forgiven because 30 Rock is a classic. But then you've got to talk to Woody about what? Like, what the fuck? Woody ain't got nothing coming out. Woody ain't got shit coming out. Alec Baldwin, you've got a podcast. He's going to be like, what do you think about the Knicks first-round draft next season? What are we doing? What the fuck? Why do you guys make this so hard on yourselves? You have nothing to talk about. You should just lay low. and count your money. You're both so rich. You're both so rich. Life is good. But it's fame as a monster, bro. That's what I take away from this. I agree with you completely. I think these types of people, people who are sort of known, whatever you want to call them, I don't know what they might be, but some bad people, they have to keep ratcheting up the degree of difficulty. They'll be like, what if, yo, I did all this terrible shit. I fucking shot this person in the face. You are, like, married to your daughter. We're doing the most fucked up shit you could think of, and we're still just cruising around. Well, it's... Going to Le Pan Côte d'Anne and getting a scone. So they're like, what if we just went on live... And just like bullshitted. Remember that one time when you murdered that bitch? We're going on live. Fuck it. I think that's true to an extent. I also think like we live in the post-Dep trial where you realize that no matter how wrong someone is, they have droves of insane supporters that make them feel good. And I think that these two are definitely in that camp. Oh, okay.

You know what I mean? It's not as obvious because it's not like a trial that's set around it, but anyone who's this famous, especially someone like Woody Allen who's considered a legendary genius, There's millions of people that are like, whatever it is, he didn't do it. It doesn't matter. Like the people that go and get married to Charles Manson in jail. Yeah, they're like, it doesn't matter. He made Manhattan. Who gives a shit? You know what I mean? He can run me over with his car. I don't give a fuck. That's my favorite movie. He got Owen Wilson to do a good job on Midnight in Paris. You get a pass. He get a pass. He can do whatever. Yeah, it's a big news day today. It really is a big news day. How was Equinox? What's going on? Equinox was all right. I haven't been to the gym in the last couple of days, so I was feeling a little tense, a little stressed, a little anxious. You should try BetterHelp slash how long, but if the gym works, that's cool too. I should. Well, I mean, it's such a big part of it. Once you get locked into your zone of your gym flow or whatever you want to call it. If you go more than a couple days without, you really start to lose it a little bit. I was reducing my caffeine. I was like, I'll not drink so much coffee if I'm not going to be having the time to work out or whatever. You ain't got to tell me. You know all about this. We've been blessed with a new gym membership. I mean, it's something to unpack. Something to unpack. I don't know how many complimentary gym memberships are left to be given to DJ Them Jeans in North America, but let's throw another log on the fire. There's a new gym near in WeHo called Hi Matt. What's up with that name? It's a German company. Got it. Okay. So it's a concept fitness club. And Jason, let me tell you, it blends. Hold on. It blends fitness food. And not only that, but class. So it's kind of right up our alley. Pretty sick. But the fitness studio is honestly lit as hell. It looks fucking really nice. You told me about it. It sounds breathtaking. What is the difference between a fitness center and a gym? I believe a fitness center encompasses all forms of fitness and not just iron for pumping. It might just be an extra zero on the monthly bill. Could also be that. Could also be that. I don't know. So you said it has food?

As well. Yeah, so there's a restaurant on the roof, and I've heard, I haven't been yet, but this is open to the public, but I have heard that it has the menu is kind of organized in a way where you're able to eat based on the workout that you've done. to best optimize your workout with nourishment, which is something that I will make fun of but also happily use. You know what I mean? But the on-site restaurant is unfortunately named Mother Tongue. No, really? I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In partnership with award-winning chef Michael Mina, are you familiar with him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. He's a famous chef. Okay, so the food, I mean, fuck it. The food might be good. So they're like Mother Wolf, Evan Funkman Funky. That seems to be blowing up and popping. Let's get Michael Mina in here for Mother Tongue. And I think they're opening for Perry Farrell on some of the summer dates this year. Yeah, they go on at 2 a.m. But, yeah, I'm interested. I've got to go check it out because I'm looking to nourish. I'm looking to nourish. And also a pool is a nice touch because I'm always looking to sun myself. So it's an outdoor gym pool. It's a roof pool. All the How Long Gone Unhoused listeners, it sounds like a nice little option. I do think because of the location, this gym is going to lean a little bit gayer than others. Which is why. You joined? That is why we were asked to participate, I think, to kind of... You know, on that, we can get into that with our guest. Okay. But on that, I wanted to get a little foreplay. Okay. You know, warm it up before we slide in. Uh-huh. How much more gay baiting can we do before it starts to become an issue? Not an issue, but it starts to become a thing where our friends in the community might be like... Okay, we might pull back just a little. So do you think we should have turned down the invitation to the J.D.B. Anderson Tom of Finland dinner that we're going to on Wednesday, or do you think that's fine? That's kind of one big part of this line of questioning. I think that's fine, because I think that's more of like a celebrity thing, not a gay-baiting thing. I think that appreciating the rich and layered gay community for what it is is appreciated because we respect it and give back to it when we can.

And also, we're not fat. So even though we are stolen valor... bottom posers, at least we're not the worst thing in the world to look at if you've got to spend an evening sitting across from us at a Tom of Finland dining experience. You don't mind if I wear the Tom Brown jockstrap. You would prefer if someone else did, but it could be worse. It's fine if he does it. There's other options, but look, he has it and other people don't. It's one of those things. As Pride Month comes to a close, I can't wait to celebrate with Tom of Finland, one of the most iconic brands of all time, a Jason favorite. And as we are rounding out Pride Month, just a couple days left in June, I will be very much looking forward to your annual post-mortem deck on how it all went. Of course, yeah. Ways we can improve for next year, things like that. Yeah, no, I mean, I think that there's – I haven't seen a lot of – interestingly, I haven't seen a lot of offensive brand gay activations. Maybe I haven't been looking. We could interview a member of the community about that because I'm sure they've existed. Yeah, we've got to get Andrews on the horn. He probably knows all about them. I mean, we did – we covered the NASCAR. Yeah, the NASCAR. NASCAR. NASCAR. NASCAR. Pretty good, though, honestly. Yaskar is funny enough and dumb enough where I feel like you've got to get a pass for that. I agree. I feel like that is an effort that should be recognized in a positive way, not a negative way. But, again, I'm not able to judge. uh on on that kind of thing we do have a guest today and you know it was just it was time to tap in with the god because there's almost like better help it's like when you it's like going to therapy once every 10 months yeah exactly get it all out exactly because you know we we have a how long gone extended universe of of friends uh that that are constantly requested to come back on the show. Kind of like Alec Baldwin on SNL. She's quickly joining the five-timers club. Bryn Walner, a.k.a. Bryn Trill, a.k.a. the first lady of How Long Gone, is joining us today. I believe she's in Nantucket or Cape Cod like her white ass would be. Thank God. She needs no introduction. I mean, she's one of our favorite people, one of our favorite guests, a great Internet presence, and a brilliant woman all in her own right, the queen of the East Village.

the only person besides Jason that I accept dog ownership from. Let's pull her off the sand and kind of see what's crackalackin'. We can pry the cucumber sandwich out of her sandy hands for 45 minutes. We'll see if we can have a chat with her. And I do have a good... dog story after the break oh great oh i can't wait for that damn involves me throwing a bag of my dog shit at a scion xb oh okay wait i'm back in okay great i'm i'm now i'm excited there's two things i love is shit in a bag and scions so this is exciting stuff let's uh let's talk to bren about this i'm sure she's done the same this episode of how long gone is brought to you by squarespace Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable.

And they're just easy but, you know, still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. You know, they focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen.

Bren is joining us. I'm sorry, I don't mean to blow your spot up, but I thought you were away at the sea. You look to be back in the cursed East Village. What happened? I'm back in the NYC. I got back last night. Off the Amtrak. You were in, were you in Cape Cod with 40, like 50-year-old gay men? Or were you in, where were you celebrating pride? I just want to understand. Also, you were on the only Amtrak that didn't derail yesterday. Thank God you made it. Thank God you made it. Bit of a dark joke, yeah. Oh, Lord. I was in, well, you know I had to leave the city for pride. No offense to the gays. Um, but I went to Cape Cod and I had one 40 something year old gay guy. He's the one who has the house that we go to and my mom. Okay. So you have to be friends with him and your mom is like the OG kind of fag hack. We, but I said that I posted that on my story, like on her birthday and she's like, I cannot repost. I mean, Your mom is an absolute legend, and I think that her friendships span generations and sexes. So she passed down that haggary onto you? The haggary? Yeah. Welcome to the haggary. And also, that's a word that we're not allowed to use as straights, Brynn? The F word? Even if you add a hag to it, it helps it. It makes it a little bit easier, but still. Oh, I apologize. I thought that was an acceptable phrase just because I don't know what else. I would try, Chris, as a substitute for you, just like if you're going to go get like Haley Bieber smoothie, run out of coconut mana, you can sub coconut oil, something like that. Try fruit fly. Fruit fly. Fruit fly. So you're a fly that's sort of buzzing around. You always happen to find yourself in the perimeter of some fragrant fruits.

A ripe mango, and you want to get in there. Where did you learn that? Because I've never heard that before, and it's good. L.A. I have no idea. I have no idea. Okay, so just maybe your Tom, his Tom of Finland message boards. His Tom of Finland message boards, finally. Yeah, I did. I mean, we should talk about this, guys. I was able, I was actually, Bryn, I saw Emma from Thing Testing yesterday at Air One. We sampled the Haley Bieber $18 strawberry glazed smoothie that features Harry's berries. I thought you were going to say 18 year. Like it's some pappy. No, I wish it was aged. And I got to say, it's pretty good. It's not a daily driver. It's a free sip. Is it a celebration of strawberry? Be honest. It's a celebration of strawberries, absolutely. Even though it does include banana, which is, you know, it's a competitive fruit, I would say, in the scheme of things. Strawberry banana is a classic, though. That is a classic. It is a classic, but I was talking to my brother about this, and he was like. Yeah, it's delicious, but also I'm not five years old, so I don't want yummy, stabby banana smoothie. You kind of feel like a baby drinking it, like two hands. It's like a Go-Gurt flavor. It is Go-Gurt. It's like the very first flavor combination that most people have as children growing up in America, strawberry bananas. I really want to order that smoothie as a side to my dinner. Bren, do not do that. You know that combining smoothies with food is disgusting. Yo, let me get a slice of cheese, slice of pepperoni, Haley Bieber smoothie. That's it. All right, New York Nico. New York Nico, calm down. New York Nico, calm down. Mango lassi, though, with the Indian food. That really slaps. Yeah, as long as you have the Haley Bieber, Haley Baldwin. Which one is it, either? Bieber. No, it's Bieber. If you marry Justin Bieber, you take his name. My bad, my bad, my bad. Okay. I just like it when a woman holds on to her identity, but that's just me. Oh, Lord. Just make sure Haley B. is eating something spicy, and then it'll be okay, because you need that mango to put out the fire. So you think Haley Bieber can eat spicy food? That's interesting. I think Haley Bieber, when Haley Bieber's ordering the larb at night market, she's saying zero. She's saying, I need a zero.

Just like me. She's at Erewhon. She's like, give me a cup of that five-alarm chili over here. I'm Hayley Bieber. You don't think she got a little Cholula at King's Road Cafe? She pulls the green Cholula out of the Birkin at King's Road Cafe. Yeah, I'm that bitch. I'm really doing this. We like to make fun of Kings Road Cafe, but it does have some of the best cold brew in L.A. Some of the strongest coffee you can get, I have to say. It's amazing. True mud. That's how they get you, Chris. It's a gateway. And next thing you know, you're going to be having chile chiles. You know I would never do that. You know. There's certain restaurants I can't be seen at, but I will park around the corner, run in, grab an iced coffee, and just head off to the Grove. It's just right there. Peek behind the curtain. L.A. L.A. Oh, sorry. We weren't in Cape Cod. So what happens in Cape Cod besides lobster rolls and stuff? Well, I mean, I take a lot of long walks. I really use it as an opportunity to connect with nature since I don't get any of that here. All I get here are my Skytown walks. Yeah, that's fake nature. So you connect with nature. Now, are you listening to like a Malcolm Gladwell podcast or just some ambient music? Oh, my God. Hopefully she's listening to nothing and you're earthing barefoot on the grass. Just the sound of. Whispering doves? Yeah, I don't listen to anything. I listen to the birds. You ditch the AirPods and the Javianas and just go on your journey. But do you bring a dog? Well, I didn't bring my dog this time. Oh, she left the dog at home. That was a shout out to you, Chris, because you hate dogs. Well, I do. That's right. But I mean, I think a beach vacation with a dog seems like one of the only appropriate places for a dog. You know, I left her, her wing was broken. Oh, no, we had an injury? Yeah, yeah. Wait, are you saying doggo broke her wing? You know, she's getting older. So I left her at home to be...

a companion animal to my boyfriend who I also left at home. Cause you know, you know, when I'm in the Cape, you know, so you had to go demon mode in the Cape. You met, you met a four, you met a 14 year old at the ice cream stand by the lighthouse. There were some hotties playing b-ball and I was like, do they think I'm hot? Which was the question I had at my 10-year college reunion. We need to talk about the Colgate reunion. First of all, the fact that you went to – I love that you went to kind of a snobby East Coast school. It really fits in with your whole thing, which I'm jealous of. I can't believe it's been 10 years, Brynn. You don't look a day over 12. I know. Well, it's a sobriety, honestly. You're telling me that's why Jason looks 60. So you went to – He do be looking like a snack, though, with no shirt. 60-year-old snacks suck my dick, Chris. The clavicle. Oh, Jason's clavicle be popping, though, for sure. Y'all play too much. So, Brent, is Colgate in New Jersey? No. It's in the middle of nowhere in New York. And I went there because it was the best school that I got into. Like it's upstate or is it like? No, it's in central New York and the closest big town is Syracuse, which every now and then we'd be like, oh, we got to get off campus. Let's go to the Chipotle in Syracuse. Nice, nice. Like there was nothing to do, hence why I was in a sorority. Yeah, but so you go to this reunion and I'm going to guess that it is. Is it a classic reunion where there's some real successes and then some real failures, and maybe you land somewhere in the middle? I mean, honestly, nobody went from my year, which was really, really sad. So there were no crypto millionaires that you used to play beer pong with? I feel like it was really D-list kind of vibe. Everybody went to the five-year reunion, which I didn't go to because I was like, I literally just graduated.

But now everybody I went to school with has kids and stuff now. So they're like, no, we're not going to go all the way there. So it was like me, my best girlfriend, and like a bunch of randoms. So five-year reunion, that's like Coachella week one. Yeah. And nobody goes to the 10-year. Are you crazy? Nobody goes to the 10-year, except there were people there from the five-year and like different increments. I saw this girl who I didn't know, but we kind of know each other from social media. And she's, like, wasted at a frat party. And she's like, Brynn, oh, my God, you are killing life. You are a fucking legend. Do you want to bump? Oh, shit. I was like, yeah. This chick sounds cool. That's exactly, the thing is, five years. You can still do coke and be a master of the union. Ten years, you can't. That's the problem. That's why they didn't show up, because there's nothing for me here. I mean, I was raw-dogging frat parties, completely stone sober, like in a frat basement. It was pretty dark. That is dark. Were you able to secure some maybe new Colgate merchandise? How is the bookstore looking on campus? Yeah, you know I hit the bookstore. I got a little crew neck. It says Colgate. What do you want for that mouse pad over there? I wish I had my old sorority merch because it was horrifying. They made one that said Notorious KKG. What? Hold on. What sorority were you in? I was in Kappa Kappa Gamma. Cutta Cutta Grandma. So you're saying that your sorority is known for cocaine use is what you're saying. I mean, we dabbled. I mean, I feel like Colgate was a really cokey school compared to others. Hold on. So sororities are kind of a blind spot for Jason and I as guys that didn't go to college. Dead beef.

Yeah, exactly. We had dinner with our friend Andrew's family. His sister, Dallas, was in a sorority at the University of Georgia, and she was showing us the house. They had a chef, and the bathrooms look like you're at the Soho house. I thought this was just messy chicks on Coke kicking guys out of their room. And she was like, sometimes Pierre does his soft scramble, and it's not that soft in the morning. I was just flabbergasted, and she was like, Yeah, dumbass. Like, literally, like, yeah, dumbass. This is how it is. We're living the good life. Was that the story for you, or was it a little lower brow? I mean, the Southern schools definitely hit different. Those are the girls. He's like, Cap-Chan. El Gucci. It was not that caliber, but we did have a chef, and we had a pretty nice house. You had a chef? You had a chef? I don't understand this. I don't understand what we're using. He's like, girl. Come get your biscuits. Here's gluten-free and here's regular. Oh, my God. Is that because the sorority is trying to keep everybody skinny? What, with the gluten-free? No, I'm saying is it like a quinoa-based lunch? There's a chef there, so you're going to have real meals, so you bitches aren't going to be having hot Cheetos for breakfast every morning. Yeah. No, there was a lot of that. I mean, I used to smoke weed and order pizza because this frat had all the pizza guy delivery jobs. And I'm like, let's order slices. And it's like a frat guy delivers it. I love that. I love that porn. That's a really good one. That's a really good one. Cohen's order frat pizza. Yeah. No, I was a little chunky in college. So the chef with the gluten-free did not help. I just didn't know this was a thing until fairly recently. So that's why I'm a little taken aback by the whole revolution. So did you? Did you have any flashbacks to some of your headier party days when you were entering these frat houses? Any Colgate triggers? Yeah. I mean, the whole weekend was a trigger. That's right. Everybody was like, I can't believe we live like this. I'm like, damn that you live like this. There was some kid who was there, and he's like, yeah, I'm a DJ now. He's like, I'm actually going to DJ at this frat party right now. You guys can come by and be in the booth. And I was like, oh.

You're like, I am a booth bitch at my core. Thank you for noticing that. Yeah, I was like, you see me at Lore with them jeans and the washed out DJ set. Circa 2012. He said we can come in the booth during washed out DJ set. You know, it's funny you bring this up, Brent, because last night, Rebounder actually played at Bardot, and then... Steve Aoki and Cobra Snake were doing a party at Dolls Kill on Fairfax. Oh, my God. And Jason didn't invite me. It's kind of crazy. I didn't go. I didn't end up going. Wait, was Rebounder at school night? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I used to go to school night every Monday when I first moved to L.A. I was trying to explain to them. I'm like, guys, Matt Goldman has done this party for 12 years. I've been coming here forever, like every phase of my life. Old head. Old head shit. Damn, we crossed paths then. You've probably seen me DJ like a sick-ass M83 remix. It's so fucked up, though. Waiting for the ride. The DJs last night were literally playing music from Them Jeans era. It's inescapable. It's not even the good stuff. When you say Them Jeans, I'm like, as my mom likes to call him, the M-Jeans. She's like, oh, I love them. Chris Black and the M jeans. And I'm like, it's them jeans. It's a common misconception. A lot of people get it wrong. It's a common problem, but I think Jason luckily responds to kind of most commands like being his dog. So you can call him Jason, you can call him TJ, you can call him the M jeans. If you give him a treat, he'll even mix the song properly. It's pretty cool. It'll be in key. Yeah, exactly. It's a real treat. Speaking of Bean, I was walking Bean this morning in the neighborhood. Oh, yeah, yeah. There was a dad driving his... I lived next to a school. Kid was late for school. And he kind of ran a four-way stop sign while I was crossing it. Uh-oh, uh-oh. It was a dad and his little kid in a Scion XB. He was like...

Almost hit me, kind of. And I threw a bag of dog shit at his car, and it almost went inside his window that was rolled down. It hit the passenger window right behind it with a thud. It felt good to throw dog shit at a Scion, I've got to say. Wasn't one of them little chipmunks driving the Scion? No, it was a big daddy chipmunk. But maybe I look more intimidating than I feel in my head. Who knows? Yeah, you are. You probably are. That's the only reason I look like I look is that I want to look intimidating and then surprise people with my friendly demeanor. And I'm the opposite. You did look intimidating with a little kettlebell in your hand and the men's health spread. How did you like seeing Chris's fitness journey on, you know? Forever in the pages of Men's Health. Well, I always knew he was jacked. It's just nice to see it in print. That's right. That's right, Brent. And just to be clear, it's not in print only online, but we don't need to get into that. It's digital? Is it digital only? Digital only. Man, fuck both of y'all, okay? I'm not Chris Evans. Peasant vibes. Wait, who is this Chris that was like today on Twitter since there's literally nothing going on? There's a story that's like... This Chris doesn't want to be called Chris the Pastor Chad. Chris Pratt. Some pastor was just like, we're calling you Chris. Changed his name. Wait, I don't get that. What does that even mean? I don't understand it either, but I'm tired of my name being dragged through the fucking mud with all these Hollywood Chris's. The Hollywood Chris's have got to go. I'm the Hollywood Chris now, bitch. Now that you're like a pass around circuit guy. You know, Hollywood Chris kind of works for you. I think I saw Hollywood Chris down at the Abbey the other day. I get a little too tipsy on a sex on the beach. No, no, no, no. That was not me. But there are a lot of guys that look like me. And John Carmonica texted me last night. He's like, bro, there's a guy that looks just like you at Eagle Rock. I'm like, yeah, bitch, I know. That's every guy in Eagle Rock. He's like, no, but he's got the look.

And he's got leg tattoos. I'm like, I don't have any leg tattoos. And he's like, he's soft launching leg tattoos for you. I never noticed that you don't have any leg tats. What's up with that, Chris? Because you love a Tom Brown skirt and you don't want to ruin the purity of it? I mean, I hate leg tats for some reason. I just don't like them. I think they look cool in other people, but for me, I just never, I don't know. Brynn, you agree? I fully agree. There were a lot of bad tats. The worst is when they're behind the calf. Oh, disgusting. No offense to Jason if you have like a black flag tattoo. I don't have a back of the calf tat, thank God. Jason just has the bows on the back of his thighs on each side. It was a mistake, but he's working on the removal process. I was dating Travis Barker at the time. It was something that he really believed in. Jason is using our Nissan money to get those tattoos removed. That's kind of why we did that ad. Travis can be very persuasive. He's dumb. So you saw that Machine Gun Kelly said that he was going to kill himself after a tough convo with Megan. Oh, Lord. In his new documentary. And I think that I'm starting to believe that him and Megan's relationship might not be as real as we once thought. Probably. You think so? You think they're a celeb couple, Brent? It seems so planted, like the whole vibe. But I'm so disinterested. Also, why is that motherfucker getting a doc? We need to hit the pause on the doc. I'm like, let things live out before we see a doc. Wait until you've lived some life and then we can document it. Let me explain something quickly to you guys about these documentaries, what's cool about them. Oh, here we go. Let me mansplain this. Let me tell you something. It's pretty cool. Let me tell you what's cool about docs, you little pussies. Yeah, you pussies don't know anything about Machine Gun Kelly's steel-toed doc. And it's basically they get to produce and have final cut on a documentary that makes them look good. And then they get paid for it. And then everybody tells them it's great. It's an amazing system. That's why they exist. That's why they exist is there's no downside. Well, I think that we need to have a different name because it used to just be here's a documentary of a person made by someone else. So we could see a person's life. And then there's the documentary where.

Like this is just a commercial for a person. I'm producing it myself. This is a marketing tool for myself. We need to have a different name for it so there's some distinction. Well, I'm going to – I'm kind of already – Bryn and I are kind of already working pretty closely with Hodinkee to make kind of the Bryn Walner definitive doc. Um, and it's, it's, she does have final say much like Serena, uh, with HBO. Um, but I'm involved to kind of keep it above board. You know, I'm not gonna let her go crazy. Do we have any names yet? Or is it still kind of the unnamed? Is it, is it like Trill and I? It's the, it's the, it's the unnamed Brent Trill project right now. Um, which could stick depending on, depending on like how far we get with copyright and, you know, all that kind of stuff. But, um, we're still working on that. Brent, I mean, we should. Documentary aside, the name change kind of shook the social media world, and I appreciate the maturity, but I also, was this a business decision? Was your handle fucking up your pockets? And could you explain what this is to our listeners who don't know what you're talking about? Does anybody know anymore what Ben Trill is? So Bryn's name on social media was Bryn Trill, a play on the legendary... Ben Trill featuring the late Virgil Abloh, the cursed Matthew Williams, King Heron Preston, and my shooter from Montreal, Justin Saunders. You're saying that that... I bet you're saying that they're all monsters, bro. Each one of them are killers. So you're saying that your streetwear Mount Rushmore has, people don't know what it is, so you kind of had to make some changes yourself. Yeah, I mean, nobody knows what that is anymore. That's not like a part of the how long gone age group, which is to say like 40 year olds who like. Still go to Dolls Kill parties. Wow. No. First of all, we didn't go to the party, so just walk that back a little bit. I know, I know. You didn't go. Also, Dolls Kill, that is so fried. No, I feel like nobody gets it. Gen Zs don't get it. Older people didn't get it.

watch people certainly didn't get it and then i just come off as like a white girl thing trail which is really pathetic i think it was a wise choice was this something that other people suggested to you to you or did you come to this realization on your own i have one friend who works in pr who's like you gotta change that and she's been saying that for like years now But most people were upset. All the reply guys that wear loafers were very upset. And they kind of let me know as well. And I'm like, look, I don't have any control over the decisions that Brynn makes. She's her own woman. Wait, speaking of reply guys, why? You say the fans want me back on How Long Gone? Can you tell me more about that? It's true. You're one of the... I mean, people love to suggest guests to us, and it's always stupid. I would say nine times out of ten, it's stupid. Well, it's either stupid or it's somebody that, like... is wildly famous where it's like, yeah, I would like to have fucking Brad Pitt on the podcast. That is a good idea. Oh, you want me to talk to Halsey? Sure. Jason knows her. But yeah, so when they make a request of one of our, because we consider you kind of the leader of the How Long Gone cinematic universe. You know what I mean? You're the Lil' Kim of whatever it is that we're doing. You're the Lil' Kim of How Long Gone. slash bad boy enterprises. Do you mean this derogatorily? No, no, no, no. You are the baddest bitch, Bryn. Yeah, this is the highest compliment you could be paid, first of all. Well, I'm wearing my throwing fit shorts right now. No, I'm just playing. All right, well, Bryn Trill is here. Check out our website. It's great talking to you. Honestly, it's kind of crazy that you would ever wear any sort of other podcast merchandise just based on your kind of status with us. But I understand you like to support small businesses. It's all good. Oh, wait. Speaking of podcasts. I'm starting one. Oh, so you come on this podcast and tell us that you're now our competition? Yeah, this is like me going on Jimmy Fallon or something. I got a plug. All right, well, we're going to play Twister now. That's a Fallon joke. No, but yeah, to go back to the fans, every once in a while, maybe once a month or so, a random person will send me a DM and be like,

Yo, it's time. And I'm like, what? We need Bryn back on. And then I was telling you when I texted you last week, somebody was like, my friend group has an alarm set, like an iCal alert every whatever number of months to remind them jeans to tell Bryn to come on the podcast. Damn, that's crazy. How does that make you feel as a podcaster to be? You know, I've got big shoes to fill. The shoes being my own. I got to deliver the joke. Yeah, you really are on your Gary Vee right now. I'm on my Gary Vee. Okay, so you said you got to deliver your joke. So this is confirmed a comedy podcast that you're starting then? No, it's a watch podcast. Okay, so you're ready to disrupt the watch world again. This time, audio. Audio, baby. I mean, I tried to start a podcast with Goof. And it was going to be like downtown culture. And we recorded one episode and I was just like, I can't do this. Why exactly? What was the main issue? I was just like, I need a focus because I can't be just. spewing shit about like downtown culture. I can't, I can't talk about martinis. I don't care anymore. I thought it would keep me young and I love booths and I love her apartment. Because I love being in the same building that CB has walked these halls. That's right. It's kind of, you know, it really does feel like Jordan, you know, kind of walking out into the court every time. Oh, wow. Yeah, I get that. I cracked the door. And, you know, I'm glad that Goose is, I hope Goose is able to soak some of that up, just being in the building. She is soaking up the greatness. So what is this podcast? So this podcast, what is it called? The forthcoming podcast is called Killing Time with Brennan Malaika. Okay, okay. And I think I met Malaika with you at the Balenciaga after party. Yes, right after I grinded up on you. Grinded all up on you? What does that mean? You talking like a booty dance? Let's just say I was at the Balenciaga after party and I was on my worst behavior. Worst? Worst.

So you were in goblin mode at the Balenciaga party. Brenda was in goblin mode at the Balenciaga party. She was sipping on the sparkling water, and they had the ice cubes that glow. You were probably up in there acting a damn fool, weren't you? Well, it was like 90 degrees, lots of little tweens and crop tops, and I just didn't know what else to do, so I'd ride it up on Grace Line. He was frightened. Yeah, I don't like dancing. Is this what the young people are doing? Yeah, I love this dance. This is dance. Fun. All right, so Killing Time is the podcast. Are you going to talk to some old Swiss guys? Are you breaking down new releases? Is Audemars paying for this? Where are we at with it? It's not paid currently, but we're just going to kind of, like you said, watch news and releases, cover what's timely, who's wearing what. We'll get some old heads, like a specialist who works at Phillips. And then we'll get a Chris Black on there. So we're just keeping a balance. Just watchy stuff. Okay, great. Just watchy stuff. It's all about the focus and the niche for me. I'm just trying to focus and not be like... So you can't just be a general chick. You got to have a focus. I feel like I've been a general chick my whole life. I'm pretty good at a lot of things. As soon as I unlock the power of the niche, I mean, it is paying off in dividends. Yeah. So I'm just going to keep riding that wave. It was something. I was talking about this yesterday with some friends. But all you have to do is be the coolest thing in a world where none of it is cool. And so many doors open, like Wim Golf or Malibu Golf. Yeah, yeah. All these things where it's just like, I'm the cool watch. Yeah. And I'm the only one. I know. And I love, I mean, I, I was so sick of being in like a quote unquote cool industry where like everybody's cool. I'm just like, Oh, I don't care. Well, look, some of us, some people suffer. Some people rise to the top. You know what I mean? If it's a battle royale.

And you can't fucking take the heat, Bryn. Go to your little watch kitchen, then. It's a good place for her to start. You and all the Eagle Rock balds with the leg tattoos. Eagle Rock balds. Hey, fuck you. I don't live at Eagle Rock. That's the Occidental School mascot. Go bald! Brynn, I'm sorry. I just thought you were big league Brynn. That's what I'm saying, so I'm a little surprised to hear this from you. I feel like people who are in coal industries, for the most part, most of them are all secretly broke. I'm just trying to be big league in a different kind of way. I understand. I understand. I understand. Nisha has worked well for you so far, so why stop the niche train? We're going to keep focusing on the niche. Tony Robbins. Banana hands, gesticulating. Just keep focusing on the niche. Racket Magazine is a good example of that as well. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true. I mean, unfortunately, the things I'm interested in are just too popular. You know what I mean? That's the thing. I can't be Olivia Rodrigo. There's only one of those. Well, you know Bryn's podcast is going to be about life. Just through the lens. Yeah. Of watches. The lens. Yeah, just through the dial. Oh, fuck yeah. Just through the bezel, bro. So I actually had a watch question. I actually had a watch question. Oh, no. Okay. I'll let you guys figure this out. I'll be back. No, no, no. So in the world of like automobiles, you can get a car wrapped a certain color if it's not available. And usually it looks bad. In my ride. You know, like I have like a, you know, like a matte. camouflage Lamborghini or something like that, but you can also just get like a black, you know, black wrap or whatever. When you get a Rolex or a watch and you pull it out, take it apart, and you paint the dial or the, you know, any type of custom, even if you just take like a plain Rolex and you're like, oh, I want a blue one, but like a baby blue. He wants to paint the face, if you know what I'm saying. And then you put it back together. Obviously, that lowers.

Obviously, it will lower the value of the watch, most likely. But how uncouth is that? How taboo is that? How much of a no-no is that in the watch world? I mean, amongst the watch heads, it's definitely a major no-no. But, I mean, you're entitled to do whatever you want. As a general practice, I'd stay away from it, but, you know. I love a customization where it's like, you know, you remove the case and you put a little Chrome Hearts bracelet on it. Now we're talking. Yeah, something that doesn't, like, shake its aesthetic core, but rather, like, accentuates it. Mm-hmm. But what are you trying to do, Jason? You got a rollie? No, no, no. I don't, but it was, like, I was looking around and I really wanted just, like, a regular kind of standard, like, sub or something like that but with uh with just a brown face like the brown is sort of like the color where you'd see like a vintage Porsche 911 or something like that and there's so many brown Rolexes but it's like a metallic brown or like a gold thing Or you have like the root beer one, which is like a dark brown and another weird brown. And I've never seen one with a brown that I like. What can brown do for you? Ask what brown can do for you. So you're sort of left with no options other than getting one custom brown. But I also want to know, like, so if I buy a Rolex, say, for $10,000, I spend $500 or a grand to get it browned. And then, in theory, that watch will be worth... $5,000 now? Yeah. Or like how much? So let's say it gets cut in half. But if it's like them jeans custom one of one brown Rolex, will that maybe increase the value? No, you're not West Coast Customs, bro. Like no one gives a shit. No, I'm not actually painting it myself. I'm having it professionally done. But what if it looks sick? He's talking about provenance. Yes, yes. One day it goes up out south of East and it's like.

a rolex hsa with a brown dial from them jeans customization one-on-one and everybody's like sold for two dollars but like like when you buy a house and you're like oh i customized it with all the stuff i like and some one person is going to be like that's a fucking nightmare i'm going to buy it tear it down and do it my way but there's another person out there who's like that's exactly what i want too And now it's here for me. It's still the market determines the value and the value is less. I'm not arguing with you guys. I agree with you guys. I'm just trying to explore the world. I'm feeling in the dark. I would like you to maybe auction off some used CDJs by them jeans. That would maybe fetch some real money. I don't think a watch you wore for a couple of years that you painted with Krylon. is going to kind of fetch the Rust-Oleum. This is going to be professionally done. It'll look sick. I feel like if you found somebody to do it, they'd be like, it's like getting a face tattoo in 2001. They're going to be like, I don't really want to do this, but if you really want me to, I will. You know what I mean? What if in two years I get Joe Rogan status, and if it's like Joe Rogan's Breitling on eBay, that shit's going to be fucking $3.8 million. Maybe. I signed the back of it, of course, with a laser engraving pen. But you know what? I bet we could find you a nice brown shade. Let's keep looking. There are probably some vintage ones out there where it's a nice, you know, they have these things called tropical dials where a watch has spent a lot of time in the sun. Let's say it's a retiree. He moved down to Palm Beach. He has his Submariner. He sits in the sun. And the dial will turn a nice shade like it's tanned. Yeah. So there are lots of variations that we could find for you. I'm looking for a double R patina on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I got you. That's a great solution, Bryn. I'm glad I went to a professional who offered me some solutions instead of just ridicule me. Well, I mean, look, I play by the rules. You know what I mean? What can I say? I know I seem like a guy who's wild and crazy. When it comes to big purchases, I like to keep things on the rails. You know what I mean? Okay. This is the one time where Chris goes,

plain Jane presidency. Otherwise, he's one of the most fucked up, twisted guys you've ever seen in terms of fashion and aesthetics. You're not rolling around in a Tiffany blue Lambeau. No, I mean... What's his name? Wayne Diamond? Diamond Jim? Bobby Hundreds? It's bobbyhundreds.eth on this show. Please respect it. Yeah, and we also, there's actually a chrisblack.eth that is in my possession. Oh. So if anyone is interested in making an offer. I'm trying to spend some Chris coins at AeroJuan. Brynn, what is your NFT wallet? How many apes do you have? Did you take a hit this summer? When I see an ape, I floor it. No, I mean, oh man, Chris, I wish so bad that you were here for NFTV. I mean, it sounded like a movie. How many of our friends made $11,000 DJing to nobody? DJ Emery on the ones and twos. Yeah, no, I didn't go to any events, but it was like a lot of guys. and like skinny jeans and lanyards and they're like nft week credential so just infecting the streets of nyc like yeah like fleet week but for nerds where you like don't want to like how do you hey soldier so yeah so the boat pulls up of all the ape owners and you guys didn't like what you see yeah they ain't that is it is like fleet week except very different yeah Yeah, I mean... I'll wait for SantaCon. There's no sex happening at all unless it's among men and their apes, basically, is what I mean. I mean, it's like Comic-Con. It really just swarmed the city. You're saying you could feel it in every neighborhood, wherever you would go. It was that obvious? Downtown, it was just wheat pacing, like NFT shit, and guys walking around with their little lanyards.

Also, like, what is with the skinny jeans? I feel like skinny jeans are making a big comeback in a bad way with, like, a very specific demographic of men. Brynn, the rock star skinny is timeless. Ask Jason. No, but it's not rock star. Yeah, but this is a different kind of skinny. I know what Brynn's talking about. I also, I know the BDG brand skinnies that these guys are rocking. The Urban Outfitters in-house BDG. It's a fine in-house brand, Christopher. They ain't the Amiri's. That's dead ass. We know they ain't the Amiri's. Do not come for a Bustle Media group over here, bro. I stand Bustle Media group. Ooh, I stand Bustle Media group as well. Throw your bees out. Throw your bees out. BDG. The original BDG, like. The original BDG is Urban Outfitters Black Skinny's 40 bucks. Yeah, with the three red lines. Exactly. Because you know a bitch would like to mix the BDG with some designer back in the day. That was kind of like a... Jean BDG. Belle Gucci. Papa Shane. Belle Gucci. Tory Burch Clutch. Roll pad. Those days are dreams. But what do you think these guys are rocking? Do you think they're rocking, like, Naked and Famous? Or is it APC? Like, where are they copping? That's the question. Naked and Famous, they're rocking Tate Monday. No, I feel like J.Crew, my brother is kind of, he's techie. You know, he lives in the marina, and he's been working at Adobe Tech Sales. And he wears, like, a J.Crew skinny. But a chino, not a jean. It's a jean. Your brother's kind of, he's got some thighs on him, though, right? You know, he looks like he played football in high school. No, I'm saying he fills out these skinnies a little bit more than the average Ethereum owner. His legs are pretty skinny, as are mine. We both got it from... Our mom. Wow. Okay. But your brother, your brother, your brother probably be doing work down there in Marina Del Rey. I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to cross paths with him at the local watering holes, if you know what I'm saying. Oh yeah. And not to be, it's not Marina Del Rey. It's the Marina in San Francisco. I mean, it's like a college campus. When I visit him, he's like, Oh my God, I have to cross the street. I hooked up with that girl like a week ago. I got this fucking chick from Dropbox. She won't fucking leave me alone, dude. It's literally that.

It's exactly that. This WeTransfer chick is texting me crazy, dude. I think I have to mute her. I have to mute her. Ask me for free. I have to mute her. I had a question about Slack, and it's the only person I can fucking text. It's literally. So he lives in San Francisco, and he works at Adobe. But these tech chicks, what'd they be looking like? It's a lot of all-American. blonde brunette like kind of preppy adjacent but like they went to like work their nice job in tech i mean they all have like salaries of like 200 000 plus at this point yeah i think the what's it look like is less concerning than what's what's the brain doing i think it's what that brain do jason always be checking on the brain well you know you know you know how some people nobody on this podcast right now but some people who spend a lot of time on twitter when you talk to them in person they sort of talk in tweets you know what i mean like everything is like a like a reply not a not a conversation yeah and those tech people they kind of have a regular conversation but they use tech terminology like you go to dinner and you're like Yeah, we're going to whiteboard the wine menu and check the runway on the, you know, and here's our load limit goal value. The value prop on the dessert is going to be, you know. Does your bro talk like that? Your brain is fucked. Does your bro talk like that? Well, you know, he's not like hardcore tech. He's in sales. But I feel like there is some like, there's just like an understood kind of curse. We're talking about the people that he bullies at Chipotle, not him. He's like, you know guacamole is extra, right? Just got another account sold. Suck it. Full sweet. They even got Acrobat, bro. Unstoppable. He's beating his chest in line at Chipotle so hard an air pod falls out. Guacamole is for closers, bro.

Don't get any on your paddock on your fleece. I need to build with Bro Trill up in SF because he does seem like a cool cat. Yeah. San Francisco is a tough place to navigate. You know what I mean? I kind of need a shepherd to take me to all the cool spots. I mean, I visit him like once a year. It's really fun. He goes to a lot of shows. He went to see Rebounder when they were in town. What's my escape? Live music. Yeah. No, that's literally the vibe. You know he'd be going to Outside Lands, too, still going to the Music Fest. It's like kind of getting serious. I'm going to take her to Outside Lands. I have two passes. Bro, bro, don't bring Santa to the beach, bro. She used to work at Lyft, but she's cool. Yeah, but she's from San Jose, dude. It's never going to work. She's got a place in Lake Tahoe, so there's a plus. Bomb, bomb. Actually, I'm going to LA on July 12th for a press trip. So maybe I can come a little early. Which watch company is paying your bills this time, Brynn? Tag Heuer, and I'm going to meet Ryan Gosling. You're going to meet Kim? Barbie mode. You're going Barbie mode? I'm going full Margot Barbie Barbie mode. So you're a tag hag? I'm a tag hag, baby. So Ryan Gosling, who doesn't do anything. I don't understand because Ryan Gosling doesn't do anything, and then all of a sudden he's doing tag ads and a Barbie movie. These checks must be absolutely bonkers. I mean, they must be. Or he lost the plot. No, any A-list actor watch deal is always fat money. Yeah. I just wish he would stop. Speaking of skinny jeans, Gosling be rocking the skinnies and the red wings no matter what the temperature in L.A. He don't give a shit. Gosling gets a pass. Do you see him around? No, I see him on, like, no, I see him on just Jared, but mainly. On Twitter. What do you, do you get to have a conversation with him, or is it more like a quick photo on a step and repeat, and Brynn, keep your hands off? Yeah, there's probably a little Q&A. So you're going to get, like, 15 minutes in, like, a hotel room somewhere in Beverly Hills where you get to ask him four questions?

What are you going to wear? What are you going to wear? We'll be at the audition tomorrow night for a Tom of Finland dinner. Oh, Tom of Finland. You're kind of hoping that he sexually harasses you a little bit. I mean, yes, he's like A-list or hottie, but he's never been my cup of tea. Really? So he would not be your celebrity hall pass then? No, definitely not. Definitely not. I'm trying to think who would be. Chris, can you guess who her celebrity hall pass might be? Lil Huddy. There's one man on this planet that you can have sex with and your boyfriend's going to be okay with it. It's Lil Huddy. Petite Huddy. And you said, I don't want a man. I want a boy. No, JC. After I saw Lil Huddy in the custom Huddy logo G-Wagon, I knew he was a man. You started looking at him a little differently. No. I looked at him a lot differently. Beep, beep. Keep coming out of it. Saddle Ranch. Yeah. Brent's celebrity, man. I feel like it's going to be somebody weird. I feel like it's going to be like, I don't even know. I don't, I don't, it's, it's truly all over the place with her. Damn. Read me to filth, Chris. No, no. In a good way. You keep them guessing. It could, it could be, it doesn't have to be a male either. It could just be Lana Del Rey. It's 2022, Chris. I hope never to meet Lana Del Rey. I don't want to meet my idol. Well, don't ever go to a 7-Eleven. Cross those off the list of Google Maps. Don't ever buy cigarettes at Ralph's or else you're going to see her. Don't ever go to the Costco in Santa Clarita. So Brynn put me on because there's a great... Father John Missy song on the new album called Buddy's Rendezvous that I had been rinsing. And then Bryn posted a picture of the Lana Del Rey version of the song. So I started listening to that. And I have to say, Bryn, I wanted to join Team Lana. I think his version is better. Oh, really? I haven't even listened to his version. Chris likes it when guys sing the song instead. Yeah, yeah. Chris of Finland. No, Chris of Finland.

So, Chris, you'll be out here like in the Phoebe Bridgers. I love female singers. I mean, I'm listening to all of them all the time. But for some reason, Father John just sells it more to me than she does. FJM. Well, he wrote the song, you know. Yeah, yeah, definitely. But you want Lana to take that and embody it and make it her own. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like how Deadmau5 might do it. Exactly, yeah. Deadmau5. You miss a little Deadmau5, don't you, Bryn? I miss him, kind of. What's that song? You know when he did the Cascade Deadmau5 album? Oh, yeah. I don't know that. Slap after slap. Slap after slap. It's really good. No, I mean, I haven't listened to the Father John Misty one, so I'll give it a go. Jason will play us out with Father John Misty buddy's rendezvous. No, I'll be playing Cascade X for sure. Yeah, she gets it. My laptop is a Misty free zone. I mean, I understand the hate. I understand the hate for him, but I still say when that guy's on one, like, there's nobody better. I have no hate for him. I just don't think about him. Yeah. Don Draper mode. Speaking of Celebrity Hall Pass, we were watching The Bear. FX is The Bear and the kid who's the star of that show. Oh, he's so cute. I have found out that my girlfriend, nay fiance, has sort of become a little too horny for him in the last couple of weeks. I'm hearing some of that in my household as well. So much so that I now have to rewatch. Showtime's Shameless from 2012, episode one, season one. Is he a child in it, though? Yeah. He's like a 12-year-old in this show, and my chick's in there on the fucking foam roller just drooling. Wow. We could probably get him on the show so Carolyn would finally listen to this podcast. No, we don't want that to happen. He's a short king, that guy. Thank God he's fucking short. He's got that Uncle Pauly-style Queen's energy that you just know he's packing a hog. Ooh, B-D-E.

He's the new BDE. He built different, like a nice Chicago style, you know what I mean? He got a little hoagie. It's a $5 foot long. He is a hottie. I wasn't familiar with his work, though, until that show. I never watched Shameless, so I didn't know who he was. I don't know what it is about him, though. An unconventionally handsome guy, I guess. He's dark and brooding. He's got the nose. He looks British. He kind of looks like a lad, like a wanker. He's got like that. You have a wanker kink? Blondie McCoy. Oh, Bren love. Bren is a known ramp tramp. So Blondie, she'll text me about when I told her I hung out with Blondie. She was like, what? Mate, you're joking. You went to the Christmas store with Blondie. So you like the kind of guy who you'd like be walking down the street. And you'd be like, who is this guy? And you see him pick up like a cigarette butt off the ground and start lighting it. And you're like, oh. Yeah. Who could get a little rough and puff at Arsenal game? She wants a guy who's wearing his shorts with tall socks. That's what she really does. Not afraid to hit somebody in the skull with a bottle of Carling. I'll absolutely kill a man for you, babe. It's nothing to kill a man. I love you, babe. I love you, babe. You want to be at home in the flat watching BBC and then he comes home and his nose is bleeding and you're like, babe, what happened? He's like, no, no, no. And you're like, oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me clean you up, babe. You look a little rough. You know, let me help you. Yeah, a bit of mushy peas, frozen mushy peas on the side of the black eye. Oh, there we go. Mushy peas are picked up from the Sainsbury's. I love talking about the Tisco Express. You know what I mean? Kind of pop down there for a few items.

Damn, that's like deep cut. I don't know what you just said. Look, I take this shit serious as hell. If there are any British people who want to hang out with me, I'm always looking to do some research. My podcast co-host and also the watch dealer that I work closely with. I'm going to be a wanker in no time. I didn't realize she was British, actually. The techno was so loud, I could barely catch her accent. She's British, and her whole family also is Norwegian. I'm very white bread compared to her. Compared to most. Yeah, compared to most. You both can relate. Hey, shut the fuck up. Jason's Latinx. I'm a member of the Latinx community. It's true. Jason Stewart. Hassan. Hassan. I know. You be pounding the chilaquiles. I know. Jason does make a pretty sick guacamole, I have to say. Guacamole. Jason, quickly, did you see where that guy got killed for putting too much mayo on the sandwich? What? By heart disease? No, he got wetted up at the subway for putting too much mayo on my sandwich. I said... A sandwich artist was squirting on the $5 foot. He was squirting and then he got squirted. And a little too... That's not real. Yes, it is, bro. This is real as hell. That can't be the whole story. There might be more to it, but... Mayo got me really heated once. We went down to Hilton Head for spring break. Oh, yeah, baby. Senior year, everybody goes to Hilton Head. My friend got me a sandwich with mayo, and I hate mayo. I said I didn't want mayo, and I got so mad at her. Everybody was supposed to drive 14 hours back to New York for graduation. And I went up to this girl and I was like, is there any room left on your private jet? And can I fly with you back to school? And she's like, yeah, I can. And I was like, fuck you. Never give me mayo again. And I was on the PJ. Damn. That's some real, that's Brent Trill lifestyle right there. I can't call you Brent Walner after that story. That's crazy. Green on the G6 with the Dijon mustard only. Literally.

I can't even see mayo. It's so gross. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. And I would put a couple slugs in a motherfucker for over mayo. Jason, remember that next time you cook for me. Don't try to sneak some shit. Fuck you. I sneak a lot of mayo in. I sneak a lot of gluten in your girlfriend's food, too. She don't have no shit. Talking sideways. I keep a 20. That's bioterrorism. I'm on my phantom thread, bro. I keep a 22 in the Birkin. I ain't afraid to pop off on one of your little shins. You know what I mean? I'll make you dance, bitch. That is actually, that's a really good way to kind of gaslight CBs to just micro dose like mayo and gluten and all these horrible things. Trans fat. Gaslight is a good one because he will get a little. I don't even know what Jason does to me. The pain that Jason puts me through is definitely going to reveal itself later in my life. When I go to the doctor, they're like, oh, you have cancer actually. And it's going to be from something Jason exposed me to. You're like. Try these Keltine bars. He already gave me COVID. Who knows what else he could give me? I didn't give you COVID. One of those little skaters at the palace party gave you COVID. I didn't get COVID, bro. I'm immune. Chris has four boosts now, I think. Is it? I mean, you're not immune immune, but like you're pretty close. Or is it four or five boosts? I don't remember what you got. I have five boosts. The last one, they kind of had to find a vein. It was a little more. Oh, Lord. He had to go between the web. They had the toes right there. They had to go through the toes. I took off my belt. I was tying my arm off, and they were like, relax. He had a sporty and rich band around the arm. The medium, not the super type. Damn, Chris. Not the heavy. Yeah, I only tie off to use heroin with my bands that I also use for my booty workouts. So it's kind of a nice. I always have them in my car, so it's easy. You have the needle that says for boosting in the off-white font. God. Everything Chris does has to be hype. That's amazing. That's just who I am. You talk about niece. That's just who I am. I can't.

Even my hypodermic needles are fucking fly as hell. You guys are drowning and I'm dripping. That's the difference. You guys are drowning. Who's drowning? Who's drowning? Who's drowning? I was swimming like a little fishy in the Atlantic. Brynn isn't drowning today in her U.S. hardcore punk Brandy Melville tank top. I wore it for you. We appreciate that. Brynn, thank you for joining us on How Long Gone. We love having you back. You're welcome anytime, unless you're on vacation, of course. I know you kind of stay busy. It's hard to imagine a podcast with Brynn is free. For anyone to listen to. Oh, no, it's crazy. But this is the gift that we give the world. Thank you for taking the time, Bryn. Of course. We appreciate you. And when does Killing Time, your new podcast, hit the streets? I feel like it's only a matter of time. Week or two. You guys will be listening. Do not make another time pun, please. Okay. I hope you used anchor. It's only a matter of time. You're just going to have to watch. Watch this face. I hope you use Anchor. Oh, I'm going to use Anchor. I'm going to hear your voices in my ear. That's right. But, yeah, I'll see you guys in L.A. Oh, we'll be here. We'll hit the town, Brynn. We'll paint it red. Me, you, Ryan Gosling. Ryan, I'll text him and see what he's doing. But, like, he's got two kids now. You, me, Gosling, John and Vinny's to the fucking dome. Okay. Gotcha. All right. Bye, Brynn. We love you. Thank you. Bye. Love you. See you.