443. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. You ready? Yeah. How long gone? We're in the fucking building. I just literally got to New York 20 minutes ago. and there's no stopping a recording of this podcast. Justin, would you agree with that? There is not a single thing that could stop How Long Gone from happening. I can think of a few things, but we don't need to talk about that. How are you feeling today? What's going on over there? Is it still raining? Yeah, I think there's one more squirt that Mother Nature's got left in her. You're saying that Mother Nature is a squirter, and I don't disagree with you lately. Well, rarely. She's a squirter over here in SoCal, but as we all know, and if you don't know because you don't live here, but you know because you've been listening to the podcast or any podcast because we all live in L.A., a lot of whining and moaning about some light rain. Let me say this, though. It's not particularly light is the reality. It's truly flooding. I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you said that, Chris. It's partly because the infrastructure is not set up to handle rain, and that's obviously a city planning issue that we don't have time to get into here. Once we recall Gasson, that'll all go away. Yeah, but it is biblical rain. I mean, it's a lot. I was happy to escape it because it really does affect my mood. I go into it.

kind of a dark place when i'm forced to sit inside um my comfortable home um drink my expensive water and watch the new tennis show on netflix you know what i mean i don't really i will do that you know but three or four days in a row of that and i'm kind of i'm starting to see stars a little bit yeah it does affect the overall mood you kind of just like you just give up you don't really go outside i mean bro if i can't If I can't do Runyon, what's the point? I know. Well, I mean, Runyon is a hike here in L.A. that is popular amongst influencers. And the trails are too muddy for most hokas. They're too muddy. If you have real hiking boots, you're probably just fine. But if you've got the white hokas like most people in L.A., it's going to be a tough one for you. It's not going to be pretty for you. It's a bloodbath. But one good part about it is once the rains do fall, Then once you're out there on Runyon, oh, it's so green. Bro, it's so lush. It's crazy. Like, we needed it. Honestly, L.A. turns into, like, Jurassic Park after it rains. And we do need it because it is a desert. Hold on. Am I in Greenland or is this L.A.? It's fucking beautiful out here. Greenland. Is it still true that... That Greenland is the cold one and Iceland is the green one? I don't know, actually. I've never heard that before. That sounds like something you would have learned in community college. It's been a while. Oh, no, no, no, no. They don't teach you... stuff like that in schools. This is stuff you have to learn on your own. At Orange County Community College, they only teach you how to board slide. It's a different kind of curriculum. No, no. We also teach you how to make t-shirts. Okay, that's good. That's good. You can take a screen printing class. You can take a board sliding class. I'm sure there's some acting courses, of course, but it leans more toward the unscripted kind of TV stuff. Don't sleep on the hydroponic program as well. A lot of botanists in Costa Mesa. I did graduate with a degree in botany from Orange County Community College, and I've set up shop in Costa Mesa. Let me know if you want to intern. We have a great crop this season. Yeah, dude, because even though it's sunny as hell here, there's a lot of benefits of going indoor. No, I've heard that. I've heard that. Some things just thrive under the lamp.

You know, it's just what it is, man. Yeah. Actually, speaking of indoor and outdoor, I recently I have been smoking weed from just a normal dispensary for years. And even when I go to the dispensary, I still I have to order my weed from the section like it's all separated into sections like here. You know, the in terms of price, like the higher end stuff. has stronger THC in the lower end stuff, lower, costs more money, you know, normal business stuff. But the problem is when you go to the weed store here, since I'm not fucking Chief Keef over here, I have to literally order marijuana from the section that's labeled mid. Damn, bro. Damn, bro. You're telling me that your goofy ass walks into the dispensary and you say, let me get... Well, it's actually a collective. It's a collective with a K. But you literally have to say, let me get an eighth of mid. That's literally what you have to say. Yeah. Well, because if you don't smoke mid, like if you go for the high quality, the exotic section, it's like $90 eights. It's unnecessary for me. You can't go Wiz Khalifa mode. You're not going to start doing Muay Thai while stoned. No, but now the problem is I recently bought other drugs from a regular old drug dealer. Shout out to the regular old drug dealer. And they had marijuana available on their menu. And I was like, I mean, all the other drugs this person has are all excellent. I'm sure the Chronic is also excellent, but I got a couple. I mean, the 8s were literally $20, $20 8s. Okay, well, let's talk about it. Suspiciously low. Suspiciously low, but maybe he's thinking of this as kind of like an impulse buy, like at Sephora, where they have all the small stuff near the register. You know, when you're buying $300 worth of meth, it's nothing to toss in.

Nothing to toss in a little eighth of some ganj. No, no, no. It's fair trade 5-MeO-HTQ-C-4. It's more ethically sourced than the frog venom. I'm sure no one died while harvesting this luscious crop. But the problem is it's more mid than the mid. So you're saying it's not loud enough. It's not loud enough. I filled up the bong and even bae was like, this is kind of swag. Quote, unquote, those were her words. Wow. Two Cali swag legends smoking schwag out of a bong in a house they own is one of the darker things I've heard in a while. But I mean, I guess that there's only one way to find out. You know what I mean? It's like you're going to go to the drug dealer's house and have him like, can we smoke a little first before I buy it? You know what I mean? It's $20. No, no, no. There was no sesh to be had. Literally, I bought the... I bought the drawer. I texted, or I'm sorry, I signaled. It's an encrypted messaging service. Yeah, I'm familiar. I know. You and all your friends at Storm the Capitol are big on Signal. I know that. And they were like, oh, my. You know, my friend is going to be the one who comes out to your car and drops it off. And it was literally just like a chick that my girlfriend goes to hot yoga with, just like, yeah, you know, I'm just cruising. I've got to go to moto after this. Well, I mean, the thing about this relationship, because I'm familiar, we've talked about this a little bit, you and I, but also I feel like we've talked about it on the pod, is that this particular operation, and I think this is becoming more common in the seedy underbelly of drug selling, but the amount of information given, to kind of differentiate the types, strains, and styles of drugs is bordering on NOMA level of obnoxiousness, where it's like, I don't care where this cocaine is from. It's cocaine, right? Okay, I'm going to buy it. We're way past what farm this crop was raised in.

I don't need to know the guy's name who actually smashed these leaves together to make this powder. I just don't know. I like it because it feels very L.A. and it's a smart branding thing to me. I understand why, and it's cute. But I also think that everything is becoming so uncool. It pains me. I want to get into a car where a guy has a fake CD player in his dash, and he pops it open and pulls out. fucking an eight ball and hands it to me and I give him some cash and I leave. I don't want to sell someone from a menu, a PDF menu. They texted me that was designed by pentagram. It's just like a little, it's like a little too far, but I guess the product is, is maybe better. So I guess it's all worth it in the end. Is that how you feel? I mean, or, or it's also just a simple sales tactic. Sure. If, if they're like, Oh, here's, here's my five different types of ketamine. This one is from Germany. You know, not Fresno. So when I see that, I don't know if it's better or worse, but it just feels like they're more chemistry-oriented over in Germany, perhaps, than Bakersfield. Yeah, I mean, look, I don't know about that. Yeah, and we're simply left to trust them. consumer purchase from any direct-to-consumer sales force. I just have never wanted to buy drugs from someone who feels like my peer. I like them to be tangentially in my crew. Like, oh, yeah, this guy knows this guy who knows this guy. But I don't want them to be like a guy who's like, oh, yeah, bro, I'll see you at the bar at 6. Yeah, it's sick. You can bring your dogs, actually. It's outside. I don't want that. I don't know if I want that. Well, it makes you wonder how... how far this will go into other realms of crime, other illicit activities. If, say, I order a hit on somebody, is it going to get to the point, in 10 years, will it be like, all right, this guy killed my family, and I'm going to give you $20,000 to, quote-unquote, take care of him. And I do ask that you are...

Headshots only, humanely, of course. Make sure he has a good last meal. So you get like a hottie murderer, and it's like through a Fiverr-style service. No, it's more like a Raya. Maybe it's like a Raya thing. More like a Raya thing. All right, let's see. All right, he's 6'3", brown hair, blue eyes. I mean, looks like he can surf. Okay, so he shoots photos in his spare time. And then maybe there's a... Once you kind of initiate the chat, then they can start to send you their bona fides. You know, how many times they've done this? Are they a top or a bottom? You know, all the stuff you need to know. All the stuff you need to know before hiring a contract killer to take care of your dad because he was mouthing off to you. If you're going to kill my sworn enemy because they murdered my family. I want that person to be at least six feet tall, hairless if you can. Yeah, yeah. But it's not a deal breaker. I want everybody in my life to be from good stock. Even if they're just a hired gun for one illicit evening of crime, I'm going to need you to be dressed right. Don't show up in the fucking rock star skinnies and the creative wrecks to do a murder. Because at the end of the day, even if you are freelance, you are still representing me. Look, I know. Look, I know you're under contract. I know we're not offering any benefits, but you're still representing how long gone when you commit this murder, and I need you to – I hate to be that guy, but it's just – It's like we got a dress code like you're going to Houston. All right, so no throwbacks. No fitteds. No open toe footwear. Fellas, no open toes. Come on. You already know the rules. You're killing me, bro. You're killing me. Bro, you're killing me. I got three chicks with me, bro. I know, but I just can't. I can't. It's my boss. I have a boss. I can't do the Jordan shorts below the knee, bro. I'm so sorry. I can't let you kill my enemy wearing Jordan shorts. Well, speaking of, Raya, a friend of the show. who I guess will go nameless, but they know who they are, sent me a screenshot from a friend that sent him a Hinge profile from somebody. And on Hinge, you can have a little headline where it'll be like, I get along best with people who blank or blah, blah, blah, whatever.

And there's a person on there, and it says, I get along best with people who listen to How Long Gone. Okay. So now we made it, bro. How tall was this guy? Do we know? This is a girl. Wow. Okay. This is a girl. Attractive girl. Okay. She's drinking an Aperol spritz in her hinge pick. Okay. I'm sure she's listening to this right now and turning. White like a sheet. No, I think this is probably – Or maybe she's stoked on this. Who knows? I like this. I think this is good for us. And I think she unfortunately will be attracting some herbs. Don't say that, Chris. Come on. Well, no, I think if you see that. I think she's trying to bag BJ. Very possible. Yeah, maybe she's trying to bag one of our celeb friends. But I think more, I think what's happening really is it could be a situation that opens her up to kind of some really corny intro lines. You know what I mean? Okay. You know, where it might be a little too either how long gone inside baseball. Or just a joke in the style of something we might do that could fall flat via text. Right. So, fellas, if you find this Aperol Spritz drinking person on Hinge and you're looking for an opening line, run it by us first just to make sure. I have no problem providing a small service. Chris's DMs are always open for $100 per word. I'm happy to kind of – What is this, the Paris Review? No, they pay a lot less than that. For $100 a word, I'll be able to go through any of your opening lines with a fine-tooth comb and give you some advice. Thanks to our friends at Grammarly.com. They're kind of our partners on this new deal. Yeah, so if you want to write any emails, text messages – DMs, whatever it may be. If you would like How Long Gone Services with that, you can contact Jason. We'll bill you direct. It's $100 a word. It will be original content. We will not reuse it, repurpose it, resell it to anybody else. And this is something, I mean, Jason, if this was a writer's room, we'd be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for a show on Netflix that no one would ever see. And also, just to be clear, we will never sell your data. We don't sell data. We don't sell data. In fact, I'd rather not know who you are.

I don't even need a name or a face attached to it. I can help you. We can help you solely based on kind of vibe. And how long ago? We're allergic to data. Dead ass. People are like, can you sit over the numbers? Talk to Jason about that, bro. I don't fucking know anything about that. Don't ask me about any numbers unless it starts with a dollar sign, a pound sign, or a yen sign. I don't know anything about that. Me no speak no data. I don't speak data. I don't speak broke. Those are the two things I don't speak. Okay, so you mentioned that you just arrived into New York. I know that yesterday you were originally supposed to embark on your journey, but your flight was then delayed 11 hours, which seems pesky. No, I've had a tough couple days. My alarm goes off at 4, 10 a.m. to catch the blue eye. and I see the email from Delta, and it's like, all right, it's pushed back from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. I'm like, all right, I'll deal with that. Let me text Vic, our go-to driver, let him know. He's like, yes, Mr. Black, of course, no problem. Don't love the time change, but what are you going to do? What are you going to do? And then I, you know. Ten minutes later, it goes from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. And I was like, that seems – that's a drastic – that's a full day's change. So I text Vic saying, hey, Vic, we're going to start over tomorrow. I really appreciate you. I apologize. And I called the Delta One – diamond medallion member line um so they answer immediately of course i'm wiping the sleep what's that number again i'm wiping the sleep out of my eye and a bright bushy tailed woman answers the phone and rebooks me for the same flight the next day i ask what the problem is i can't tell you i can't access the problem and i'm like well if it's if it's 10 hours literally or 11 hours i'm gonna have to guess mechanical unless the pilot literally died but We made it, and then I had another small issue today, though, on the flight. And it was fine. No, no, I got there fine. Vic dropped me off. I check in. Were they all out of John and Vinny's cookies? No, no, no, no, no. Don't worry. The overnight oats were done. Something more sinister? Well, as I was trying to nap, I did smell some fucking slobs chicken sausage behind me, which did keep me up. But, you know.

Unfortunately for me, if it was up to me, on Chris Airlines, I order all of the entrees based on what you look like. You don't get to order your own entree, and all of them are as scent-free as we can possibly make them. Is this for everyone in the whole plane or just people sitting in your section? Is this first class only? Yeah. New York to L.A. and L.A. to New York, it's only first class gets a meal. Only Delta One gets a meal. Europe obviously is different. So yeah, it's only dealing with a small part of the cabin as a whole. But I think that, again, we get the headshots. We kind of go through the list. I'm like, all right, this guy's going to want the French toast. We cannot give him that. What's a scentless option? What cereals do we have for the guy who wants the sausage? What do we have? Do we have Cheerios and almond milk? Something that's truly... Scent free. Okay. Is the peanut butter puffing too far in the scent, or do we have to go plain, or can you let that one slide? Well, I think this would have to require months of testing, obviously in an air pressure-tight cabin environment to kind of perfectly replicate the Delta 1 experience. I'll hit up Wes and see if we could borrow some of his cabin pressure. In one of his D6s. I'm literally drifting off to sleep, and then this motherfucker gets his breakfast burrito with chicken sausage, which jolts me awake in my lay flat. I don't need coffee anymore. I really don't. I come to. The flight's fine. I read my newspaper. I read my back issues in The New Yorker. I read The Fence, one of my favorite independent publications in the UK. I'm doing fine. And then, you know, we're deplaning, and there's some sort of issue that takes a little while, and, you know, I got my AirPods in, and, you know, I'm walking off, and I ran directly into an overhead bin to the point where oohs and ahs happened behind me because people thought I was injured. Okay. I might have a mark on my forehead. So you already got your bag. My bag is down. You're de-planing down the little walkway. I'm coming from 7D to the front of the plane, and the left side of my face just runs directly into an overhead bin that was open. And in harm's way, and I will take a little blame here. I probably wasn't paying the most attention. I could have been looking at my cell phone.

You're going to take a little blame? I'll take a little blame. So I hit my face. Okay. But I hit my face so hard, and it's obviously painful but also embarrassing, so I kind of try to just keep it moving. You know what I'm saying? I'm just like, I'm good. Of course. I'm good. I'm obviously now realizing I'm slightly – As an alpha male, you have to take this kid on the chin and show no sign of – injury or or strife whatsoever i'm willing to share with you now and the listeners that i probably do have a light concussion but nothing i can't deal with um so i get off the plane and i need really no i'm just kidding i'm fine and i get off the plane i don't know i get off the plane and i realized that my left air pod had fallen out after contact was made all right this episode of how long gone is brought to you by quince Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy, but still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is this is not a joke.

I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a Tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code. how long taskers book up faster, especially for same day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code how long with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned.

They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcast. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Okay, so you were so shooketh by this encounter that your AirPod fell out. You didn't even notice it. Well, because I hadn't started playing music yet. You know what I mean? So I had nothing going on in the AirPods. I smashed my face. The AirPod falls due to embarrassment. I'm speedwalking off the plane. I get halfway off the tarmac, I realize, and I just make an executive decision I can't go back. It's going to be too much. No, no, no. It's going to be too much. They might not let me back. It might be this whole thing. So I have to make a call as soon as I got off the plane, and I did something I've never done before, and it did feel very executive. I went straight to a Hudson News and purchased a new pair of AirPods in the airport. No lag time. Honey. I was without AirPods for a mere 10 minutes. Not even five. Thank God that you were flying into New York City and not, you know. Minneapolis or something where it might be tough to track down some electronics. Truly would have been an issue because I was like, look, this is, you know, I have to go podcast immediately. I have to go, I have my first day of class tomorrow at Equinox. It's a big day for me. You know, my mom's going to take me to the bus. It's going to drop me off. So it's just going to be, it's, there's too much AirPod stuff happening in the next 48 hours for me to have the time to order my custom, you know, Chris Black AirPod. Do you think there are celebrities or rich people or famous people out there who just keep, like, there's just a drawer in each one of their homes that has various AirPods? charger cable, you know, all that shit. Honestly, honestly, that's a cool idea. I'm going to buy three pairs of AirPod originals that say my name on them and just have them on ice. That's a cool idea. One in each home. I was texting the group chat this morning because the rise of the AirPod Max, the over-ear TikTok hot chick headphone, I hadn't flown since after Christmas.

everybody got these for christmas there was there's more on this flight than ever seen in my entire life in one place it's a great gift it's a great gift but they're a little expensive for like that one gift where it's like oh it's a little extra special and you get to think about them every day when you wear them i saw a great video that nolita dirtbag posted like a chick bedazzling them and it was like a whole it was like a whole it's like her sitting down at her craft table bedazzling her airpod max very very cool i'm so glad i wasn't i wasn't born of that era where like i would think that doing something like that meant meant something in the world well i mean i'm sure that has more views than our podcast has listens total after like one hour but i agree i agree with you hopefully she's not able to monetize it the way we are but you never know There is that. While I was on the plane, I saw some stuff about something that we haven't talked about in a while on this podcast, and thank God. But our friends over at the Bored Ape Yacht Club, I saw that those guys are kind of branching out from the failing NFT space into video games. And the game is literally searching through a sewer for monkey poop. That's literally what the game is. That's what the game is, which is truly, I'm starting to think that our friends at the Bored Ape Yacht Club, that is so far, that's such an extreme troll that I'm starting to think maybe they're in on it. No. This feels like a prank. No, no, no. You don't think? I think they genuinely think that it's cool and funny because they're like man children. I guess. Who own these NFTs and they're like, LOL poop. funny monkey poop funny and that's it there's i don't think there's any trolling whatsoever going on i think they're that stupid that's okay i was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt which obviously why would i do that these people never give a bored ape yacht club member any but i just i hadn't thought about bored ape yacht club in so long as the nft and crypto world crashed and we all laughed but this is this is not great this is this is really this feels like grasping for straws

If I do say so myself. Yeah, a friend of the show, Jack Wagner, posted a video of it and he was like, why does this company that's valued at billions of dollars posting this video for a game where you play monkey poop and it has the voiceover of a local used car dealership or a water park radio commercial or something like that. The quality of it is just so low. It's just so terrible. Maybe they're out of money. Maybe they had to hire different developers from Fiverr, and it's just not coming out quite the same. Yeah, we're all waiting. I can't wait for the takedown of Bored Ape Yacht Club to go down and the Netflix rights to be purchased. And in a year and a half, there's going to be a very sick limited series for me to watch about it. you know, rapey dudes going to jail, all this stuff. I can't wait. Hopefully Jesse Eisenberg is available. I feel like he could kind of really slot into one of these, these board roles and really take, take, take it for a ride. No, no, no, no. He's too cool for that, bro. He is not cool. Um, did you, uh, and also these Fleischmans are in a lot of trouble. They are in a lot of trouble. Were you able to, um, were you able to watch? break point on Netflix, the tennis show, because I wrote something about it for the public announcement newsletter for tomorrow, so I've been thinking about it a lot. I watched it a little bit. Bay and I kind of had it on. Honestly, it didn't really do much for me. I think I'm too close to the sport of tennis, and it's made for someone who's a little more entry-level. You know, it's like when I watch an F1 racing documentary, I don't know shit about it, but I'm like, okay, you know, I learned some stuff. I mean, this is all, I don't need to see Nick Kyrgios' Explore Page girlfriend being like, good job, man. The best part about, okay, so first of all, it's produced by the same people that did the Formula One show, and they also have a golf one on deck.

So I guess they're literally, that's their... They have a golf one teed up, Chris. I'll clean it up in post. That's their beat, is to enter sports that seem very popular, but I guess aren't... It's a great beat. It's great. No, it's genius. Great beat. The best part about the first episode, the Nick Kyrgios thing, nothing happens, of course. But that's the whole thing. Nothing happens the whole time. And the people they follow just keep losing. So I don't really know what's going to happen, because there's five more episodes where hopefully they win. But yeah, so the best part about Kyrgios' explore page girlfriend is that... She's with him in every scene of this. I'm not exaggerating. She's at practice. She's watching the guy shower. She's getting him Gatorade. It's unbelievable. She's at the family dinner. They obviously hate her. He's FaceTiming her what color his pee is. I forgot about that. Yeah, when he's getting tested. Usually people pay money for him. This wasn't like... made to be very clear it was kind of said in passing but when they were filming this they'd only been dating for two months yeah so so this chick saw this motherfucker come in he's a mark if you can follow him around for two months straight you ain't got a job because your job is to siphon as much money from Nick Curious as possible. Would you agree with that take? I agree with that 100%, especially as soon as you see the childhood photos of him where he was a little fatty, and you're like, oh yeah, he's a mark right for the plucking. Like any of the three fellas on HBO's White Lotus Season 2, you see him coming from a mile away. But also Nick Curious doesn't give a shit. If I was Nick Curious, if I grew up just some little fatty that's kind of angry all the time, And you got some badass chick that suddenly is like following you around all the time. You're like, yeah, I don't even care. Yeah, no, it's true. I'll buy you. This is pretty dope. I'll trick off at the Louis store. It's really nothing for me. Even though the Australian dollar is not strong, you know, I can still do it. I can still do it to keep her around. But yeah, I mean, overall, though, I do think it's like I understand the purpose of the show and what it's for. But I guess it's I watch all of it and I liked it because it's like fine, you know. But I just none of the I don't know, man, these people. I think this happens a lot with.

The true greats of anything are so focused and have only done one thing for so long that they're just not that interesting as personalities. You know, it's like they're not like I don't like Rafael Nadal is the greatest tennis player to ever live. But I don't I couldn't watch him talk for 15 minutes. He's got nothing to say. All he can do is play tennis. He's a fucking genius at one thing. He's dedicated his entire life to it. He doesn't have to be funny. He doesn't have to be compelling. He doesn't have to be smart. You know, none of that matters. And it's like these people are just kind of like. They show Berentini in the hotel room with his girlfriend who's also a player, and it just looks so – it's the messiest hotel room I've ever seen, and they're watching a movie on their iPad. I'm like, come on. This is all of our lives. This is a nightmare. This is not millionaire activity, guys. No, I don't want to see a hotel room. If I wanted to see a hotel room with two Rimmuels exploded on it, that's my life. I can do that every day. That's not – that's like – that's nothing. I don't understand how that – but it's just like these people aren't – and I don't know about F1. I'm not going to watch people drive cars fast. That doesn't interest me. Maybe those guys are more compelling in some way. But at least tennis, at least these guys are specimens as far as athleticism goes. There's something nice to look at. I mean not even – I mean Barentini is nice to look at, gay icon. Yeah, he is. It reminds me of – something that we've talked about before of like there's there's such a thing like once you get too obsessed with something it becomes detrimental to your overall personality like any level of obsession about anything at a to a certain point becomes dorky and you have to make a decision whether or not it's worth it to keep going and be you know achieve greatness at this thing that you're obsessed with that will then turn you into a person that nobody really is interested in hanging out with and some people are totally fine with that they're just like yeah i don't give a shit like that's how much i love this sport so much or whatever that i'm willing to become so obsessed with it that i become a person where

everyone is just like i'm i'm all set well i mean you're you're only around people that play tennis the coach that you pay the trainer that you pay your parents who are like i've put up with this little shit my whole life and spent thousands of dollars to get them to this place so they better fucking win you know it's not it's not you know i mean who else is gonna hang out with you you know i i don't i it's just a it's a you know you watch like a 30 for 30 about like john daly you know see that's a good example of somebody who is is good enough at tennis golf he's good at golf but he didn't become so obsessed that he stopped being a sick ass bro he's like i'm good i'll stop here like i made enough money yeah everyone knows who i am i'll go down in golf infamy i didn't win a ton of tournaments but everyone's like i want to hang out with that guy i want to drink a beer with that guy he said he did it in the sweet spot he chose bud light over golf and it worked out for him yeah i'm sitting in hooters and Tiger Woods and John Daly walks in. I'm not going to want to kick it with Tiger. Hell no. What's up, Tiger? How's it going? He's like, I'm doing good. I am enjoying hanging out. And John Daly's like, what's up, fucking pussy? And then, like, smashes a beer over your head. And you're like, I think I'm going to like this fella. It's truly, it's truly, it's sad to watch. But, I mean, you know, I'll watch the next five episodes and, like, hopefully somebody wins. I think Tiafoe. But the other thing is that they can't get access to like, even though I think Roth would be boring, the fact that they have no access to him and he just beats everyone and they see him in passing is kind of like a strange, it's just like, we know you couldn't get him, is the vibe. Like you have to show him because he's the most important person in tennis, but you like have no access to him. You don't hear him talk really. And it's just a strange, it's just very strange. Right. And it's the, uh, the elephant in the room that no one's talking about, but he just keeps beating everybody. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, uh, back to the drawing board, Netflix, back to the damn drawing board. Once again, our friends at Netflix, but yeah, I mean, look, I'll keep watching and so will you. Well, let's, um, let's talk about Noma.

Okay, what about it? A lot of people are talking about Noma closing down. Does it have anything to do with the menu, the film coming out about it? It's sort of ushering in the end of this style of fine dining. Can I ask a question? Obviously, I haven't seen the menu, but is it making a mockery of this sort of serious dining? That's what the whole film is about, making a mockery of it. And it does a good job at it. They did their homework. I've heard good things. It's well thought out. All the references to foodie culture are pretty spot on for, you know, a script that was written, whatever, a few years ago, I'm assuming. They do a good job at it. But sort of Noma coming around was that ushered in the end of, like, opulent dining and, you know, white tablecloth, stuffy blah, blah, blah. And now it's this new interesting abstract tasting mini thing. And now that's done. what do you think the future of fine dining is going to be? Do you think it's going to go back to what it was before, or are we going to see something new? I mean, what do you mean when it goes back to something it was before? Before a dorky guy was building bird's nests out of, like, sticks to serve, like, a smoking bowl of cold fish and pickled vegetables? No, that's what's going on right now. Okay, okay. But before that was just, like, you know, white tablecloth. French brigade, just like standard fine dining, you know, stuffy old people. I mean, I feel like it'll have to be, there's not enough people that want to spend that money to have that experience anymore. You know what I mean? Like, I just don't think, I don't think that people are getting rich a lot younger now and want to spend their money, but it ain't on Noma unless they're a nerd, you know, like it's not, it's not fun. Like I'd rather just go to Carbone and have fun. You know, like that's the real, like I can spend as much money at Carbone and it's fun. And the food I leave full, I don't have to stop and get a couple of slices on the way home. Like, but it's not, it's not all about fun. You know, people read books, not because they're fun, but because you're enjoying getting something out of it or whatever. There's a lot of art forms that aren't fun that people still want. Yeah. But I'm saying if you're a, if you're like a, you have to be to appreciate Noma, you either have to just be rich.

and be a person who pays for experiences because you don't have access any other way, or you have to be like a foodie dork who saves up their money and makes a pilgrimage there to have that experience. And those are two, like, I don't know. Those are like pretty small crowds, you know, like overall. That's true, but you can sort of say the same about any level of top luxury. You know, like we know so many friends who... have no money but all are dressed head to toe in expensive clothing. Sure. There's people who have AMG or M5 BMWs who make $40,000 a year. Because you love it so much, you can access that. But those two things are more about presenting and living beyond your means to present something to the world. Whereas going to Noma... is like, yeah, you get to flex with an Instagram post saying you spent $600 on food that's fussy, but then it dies. You know what I mean? If you live in a two-bedroom apartment with a homie and you spend $100,000 on an AMG, you get to pull that up to the valet at Koi every night and have that feeling. If you're wearing expensive clothes, you get a compliment on that every other time you wear it. The benefits are returning. That's true. For every person that's doing it as a wealth signal, I think there's just as many people who do it just because they love it so much. No, that's true. I'm obsessed with AMG, Mercedeses, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to drive one, even if it means eating peanut butter and jellies for the rest of my life. I mean, from people I've talked to that have eaten Noma, it's kind of the same thing. It's like, oh, it's not that it's so delicious. It's like the experience is so crazy, which to me... A White Tablecloth, 11 Madison Park, like those restaurants, the ones that I've been to, the experience is pretty remarkable and the food is fine, but it's the same. Again, you're going there because it's like this feels like a performance. Everybody's at the top of their game. It feels like it's choreographed and it's impressive. I don't know who's going to any of these places for the food except reviewers and nerds.

That's true. So do you think in the future there will be, do you think we're just going to go back to, I mean, because for me, I'm like, I can't do another, or I can, but I'm ready to evolve past whatever, martinis and french fries. Oh, you mean the New York Happy Meal, Jason? Don't do that. We're not done with martinis and fries. I think that we're on the last. We're in the ninth inning of that style where everyone was just like, I'm sick of it. Can we just go back to cheeseburger, fries, martini, whatever it is that you can't fuck up? I mean, I think a lot of that stemmed from everyone wanting to go to these restaurants and hotels, Chateau and Sunset Tower and The Grill and all these places where you go there and you're like, oh, how was it? And you're like, oh, the food's not good, but if you just get a burger and fries and a martini, they can't fuck that up. So just get that. And then everyone ended up just getting that. I think there really needs to be a switch up and a change to where we're not just eating whatever is the lowest common denominator that will please everyone. How can we challenge people in a way that doesn't involve reindeer penis or insects or something? Well, this is the problem. You think people want to be challenged, and most people don't. Most people want to be either impressed. by the performance, or they want to be able to say in a tasteful way, I spent the money, I had the experience, and you didn't. I don't think most people care about the food as much as we think they do, or I don't know if the burger, fry, martini thing would have been as big. That to me, that thing and how big it was and what a talking point it was, was kind of proof that everyone's full of shit and they just want to eat. fucking mcdonald's the rest of their lives because it's it's because now they don't have to pretend that they like yeah but that's that's most people but not everyone and there's obviously enough people who care about this stuff to support you know fine dining or experimental restaurants but i think you can do i think you can do fine dining in a way that's a little more palatable you know like as far as like not just flavors and dishes but just the experience in general you know like if

If, like, even, I don't know, if Noma was in New York, I think it would be, you know what I mean? It'd be a whole different thing. Yeah. I guess comparing it to, like, music, it's the equivalent of, like, do I stop searching for new music and just listen to the Rolling Stones and the Beatles every day because nothing's going to be better than that probably. Like, yeah, you're probably right and true, but also isn't that so sad when you just stop looking? for something new and better that could be your thing? Well, the question is how much further can it be pushed? You know what I mean? Like what is truly left? It's going to not only be impressive from a technical standpoint, but actually taste good. And I think that's the rare. I think those things, unfortunately, don't go together that often. I think if something's really technically impressive. More so rare than other forms of art. You would never say that about music or film or contemporary fine art or whatever. You always want that to keep pushing new boundaries so new things come around. You don't want to just see the same portraits at Art Basel every year. Isn't that boring? Not necessarily, honestly. I think that what we're forgetting is that the real thing that anyone can bring to the table with any of this stuff is point of view. That's the true original. I don't need you to invent. You're talking about POV? Yeah, I'm talking about POV. figurative painting has been around for a hundred years. There's always somebody doing it in a new way that feels good because they're bringing like a perspective to it, you know, which I think is like, that's what happens with anything. I think, I mean, you know, there's, there's only so many chords, you know what I'm saying? But people keep figuring it out. I think they do the same with food to an extent. I just think that the, I think that a majority of people in the world don't feel the need to be pushed, uh, when it comes to food. I think it's like I don't need to try insects. I don't care. I can eat a taco and be happy. I can eat a pizza and be happy, and some are going to be better than others. But do I want to pay $500 for an experience? That's a very certain kind of person. I think that goes beyond food. Yeah, and I think that high dollar ticket price is the big differentiator because I can go on Spotify and listen to the most challenging.

atonal noise music ever made and it will cost me zero dollars but if i want to have the culinary equivalent of that it will take hundreds of dollars you know weeks of planning true plane tickets whatever it may be so the expectation is so high that if it doesn't deliver yeah then you're then you turn into a whiny little bitch not you Me. But also I think that the – like you're saying, it's like listen to all this – listen to what you have to do. Like even going to a regular restaurant, you have to make a reservation. So imagine you're trying to go somewhere that's three Michelin stars and this world-renowned place. It's like six months of planning even if it's in the city you live in. That's just insane. Like who cares? Like what is the – I mean like unless it brings you that – it's like – if you really love the beach, you're probably happy going to the one that's an hour away versus flying 20 hours to Bali. Like you might do it once and be like, that was great, but you don't need to do it all the time, you know? And that's the thing with this stuff. It's like, we went to Che Panisse and that was an amazing experience. I wore what I wanted to wear. We had to call someone to get a reservation, but it wasn't that crazy. That, to me, is like the perfect dining experience of that level. Shout out to a friend of the show, Andy Bargani. If I'm going to have an experience like that, that's where I want to go because it's got the history. The food is amazing. It's cool looking. It was all the things that that should be, and we left, and it was whatever. It's 250. It's not – $10,000. It's a different, I don't know. That to me is what it should be like, but I think that people want to push so far that they kind of get in their own way. Don't forget about the herstory. Let's talk about Golden Globes. Okay. Did you get a chance to watch it? I've watched every hour of it. So this is the first time, thanks to our friends at Peacock, that I have watched an award show in my house live on television.

I can't remember the last time I did that. It's so strange to watch award shows now that we're all working from home and have severe social anxiety and blah, blah, blah. Award shows are not about awards anymore. They're more so just opportunities for famous people to show off their... public speaking abilities or something like that well let's not forget the possibility of memes being created i don't want to kind of forget but the art of the 21st century yeah i mean i think that look if you win any awards you'll probably see a bump at in the in the box office or whatever the streaming for sure so there's still like a benefit in that in that way but yeah i mean it's absolutely insane people feel very uh strongly about gerard carmichael and his performance especially especially the new yorkers hilton owls who went on a crazy rant about it um i i just think it's just like anything else it's just not funny like nothing is edgy and nothing is funny like you can say you can make a joke about whitney houston dying in the hotel that's not edgy to me but it's also not funny it's just something you said yeah i don't know he looked he wore the worst some of the worst clothes i've ever seen in my life the one outfit i sent you is like a dtlr fucking It's crazy what he was wearing. A rare misstep for Gerard. I like that he said that he was getting paid $500,000 and that's why he was doing it. I think that's pretty funny. I didn't like that. Oh, I think that's funny. I think that's funny because he knows he's never going to get asked back. Yeah, that's true. He knows that what he's going to say is going to piss people off. He knows they only hired him as a diversity play because they had to. So fuck it. Let's just burn it down. I wish he was funnier, but he's not funny. No comedian is funny anymore. They just want to make observations on society, which is fine. But at an award show, we kind of need some brevity. Yeah. To me, it felt... kind of like a lazy cop-out to burn it down because, like, you are a professional comedian. You've been paid half a million dollars, more money than most people will ever make in their entire life, to entertain us during, you know, apocalypse that we're living through every day. Give us two and a half hours of laughter while our world burns down and we can look at celebs and have a good time. And he just kind of...

Bored ape style. Took a fucking shit on it. You can do that if you hire somebody else. Jeff Foxworthy would have gone up there and killed it. You know what I mean? But there's a way to do that. There's a way to be an instigating little stinker and make fun of people and make off-color jokes that are going to ruffle feathers and offend people but also get the call the next day from fucking CAA like, yeah, we want to bring you back next year. Like, there's a way to do that. It takes a lot more work. But, like, if you really think it's stupid and, you know, don't want to do it, then just don't do it. Just say no to it. I mean, would you say no to half a million dollars to go up there and not try? Probably not. I mean, I agree with you. No, I would go up there and try. I mean, that's what I do on How Long Gone Every Day. That's a good point. How do you fucking offend people and live to fight another day? Like, that's the whole point of all of this. Yeah, but he just wanted to – he wanted to – I think that's what he wanted to do and wanted to do that from the get-go and only said yes because he knew that's what he was going to do. I just don't think these guys are funny. I don't think anybody's funny, and they don't go out with the intention of being funny. Like, they want to say stuff that feels fucked up and will get, you know, people – I don't know what it – does for him career-wise except like get his rocks off like i'm sure his agent's bummed yeah i'm sure that like i don't know if it's gonna do anything good for his career i agreed i mean i didn't watch his special that apparently was life-changing unbelievable levels of comedy um and i'm sure it's great but like it was really good Less comedy, but more good. These guys don't need to do anything because they have a fan base. It doesn't matter. He can go make more money doing 12 shows in one year than he could doing anything on TV. It's true. It's probably the reality. So it's like they don't give a shit. They're just like, yeah, I can go do this. It'll be funny for me and my friends. I'll get half a million dollars. And it's Trevor Noah. It's like I don't need to do a show every day. I can go do 15 shows a year and make as much money and not have to go in to work. It's crazy.

The juxtaposition between Gerard Carmichael being a gay black comedian who is, you know, intentionally crashing this plane that he's flying. And then you have Abbott Elementary winning, which are a bunch of people who are trying really hard to do a good job. And they're like, now because of this, are they going to be like, we're probably not going to hire a black comedian to do this next year because you see what happened last time. They just, you know, Gerard Carmichael just went in and fucking took a shit on it. Or, like, all the people who are waiting for their chance to be the next Gerard Carmichael just got knocked. He bulldozed the road. I think a lot of people think he's a genius and don't even, like, they decide someone like that's a genius and he's a genius. It's Dave Chappelle. People decide Dave Chappelle's a genius and anything he does is fine if you're a certain kind of person. Because people decide that and they want that to be true so badly that, like, it doesn't matter. Like, I don't think, but I also think that they probably knew. I mean, I think that the Hollywood foreign press, I think they probably knew what they were going to get, but that's still better than hiring Amy Schumer. That's what you want. People talked about it. You want the Ricky Gervais to go in there and just say some fucking scathing shit, but he does it in a certain way, or just like Chappelle. He will say some scathing shit. But he also knows in the back of his mind that I'm a comedian who's been hired to make people laugh, and don't forget to do that. You also have to make people laugh. I think Gerard Carmichael is making himself laugh, and that's all he cared about, which I sort of respect. But I also don't – I didn't even crack a smile. That's my thing. I just think that I don't know if enough people are watching the Golden Globes for that to even be edgy. You know what I mean? Like I don't know if the people that would find that – that would like be offended by those jokes are even tuning in to that award show. It's not the Oscars. No. You know what I mean? They don't even know how to find it on their TV. No. It's literally like, oh, there's – I mean Brad Pitt's there. That's cool. I don't know what else would – it's like they're just drunk. The main thing that I took away from it, me sitting there watching myself watch it, was that like the only thing that I'm watching this for –

It's not because, like, I want justice of, like, oh, Tar really was that good or whatever. It was I want to see how, you know, you want to see famous people get up in front of a microphone with millions of people watching on television and dance without a safety net. You know, go up there and talk. And then I found myself judging every single speech. Being like, oh, this sucks. This is good. That's how you do it. That's how you accept it. I just found myself judging people on their level of public speaking abilities. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing or if that's just because I'm a professional talker, so I'm just so acutely aware of it. Yeah, I don't think it's bad. I mean, these are supposed to be the best in the world at performing. That's just another performance. I mean, that's what public speaking – I mean, also, I think we should take this opportunity to kind of put the idea out there that Dion Cole should host next year. Exactly. Somebody that's truly funny. Dion and Gerard both did – Had amazing specials this last year. Oh, my God. Dion would do such a good job. And he wouldn't be wearing some Bodhi armor. But Dion is actually funny and is up there to be funny. He's not trying to make a statement about the state of the world. Gerard's really funny, too. He's so talented. But his style of comedy does not translate. I've never seen anything. I guess I don't think I've ever seen him. Because he's been in movies and stuff, too, right? I don't know. Maybe. I know the special was big, but that's the only thing I've ever heard of. Well, speaking of movies, as we head out, another thought I was having, I know that Chris Black is anti-cinema, never going to see a film again, but I created a fork in the road in your mind, in my mind. Are you more committed to never watching a movie again, or are you more committed to gay baiting?

Because it would be so cool if the only movie you watch for the rest of your life is Megan with a three instead of a knee. This is tough. I don't know what Megan is about. Are you more committed to gay baiting or protesting cinema? Megan is, from all I've seen, it's literally people being like, straight men should never see this. And it's like a horror movie. Is it a horror movie? Yeah, yeah. It's a horror movie where she invents like, some type of AI machine person. It's like a 10-year-old girl that's like your new best friend or whatever. It's like a Barbie doll that can talk to you. But then, of course, the AI Barbie turns into an evil robot that goes on a killing spree and stuff like that. But the interesting funny part that everyone's talking about is like, why did bros tank at the movie theater and not a single gay person saw it? But then this horror movie about a cartoon girl that kills people has become the Star Wars of gay cinema. I'll tell you why. The Godfather 2 of gay cinema. Billy Eichner ain't involved in Megan. That's why people like it. I think that's how much people hate Billy Eichner. Is Billy Eichner the Eminem of gays? Kinda. Yeah. He's good at what he does, but just no gay wants to hear what he has to say. Well, the problem is Billy Eichner paved the way for these TikTok question askers and that he can't. He can never. That's what it is. I don't know if everybody realizes this yet, but that's definitely what he did. Billy Eichner, man on the street. pave the way for how much money do you make patient zero he's a wuhan wet lab of hey bro can i talk to you for a minute yeah yeah it's it's it's insane but also to be fair straight people took that and ruined it well yeah it was going fine of course when it was only only gay people yeah of course of course i agree with that like most things it's fine because if i'm walking down the sidewalk with my airpod max is on and a gay person walks up and goes like hey can i ask you a question i'll be like

Let's do this! But if it's a fucking 19-year-old sorority chick with her dumb friend holding a phone, I'm like, I don't even take my headphones off. I think if it was sorority chicks, you might. I think if it was frat boys, you maybe wouldn't. Let's get the story straight. Let's get your story straight. If it's the type of sorority chick who's going to be filming people on the street... For fun? No, you're right. I don't think that... Look, first of all, I'm not going to see Megan. I hate horror movies. I hate anything fantastic that couldn't happen. So that's out for me. I'm all good. I hate anything fantastic that couldn't happen either. I'm out. But I almost feel like everyone will say, I don't want to do blank. I don't want to do whatever it is. I don't want to watch this show. I feel like I have to because the world is talking about it. I am an adult who has agency and will not see something just because of societal pressures. But the main difference here is... Says the guy who watched every episode of Emily in Paris minutes after it debuted. Yeah, that's a good show that I wanted to watch. I didn't feel pressure. I felt anticipation. The thing that you're not taking into account and we often forget about on this program is that you are high. You know, you're on drugs. So it makes anything more palatable. You could have dinner with Billy Eichner and you smoke so much weed. You know, it's like that. I mean, that's the thing. I'm sure if I went and had dinner with Billy Eichner, it would have an intelligent, insightful conversation the same way if I had dinner with Eminem. It would be an intelligent and insightful conversation. But if then Billy's like, hey. want to come by largo after this i'm gonna do a i'm trying i'm working out my hour or if eminem's like hey do you want to come down to crypto.com arena i'm gonna come up and do a few songs with remy ma or whatever i'll be like you know what em i'm all set you know what i'm actually i don't know that the chicken kind of made me feel weird i'm gonna have to kind of i'm gonna head back to glendale but bro i'll catch you next time you're in town and i'll holler at you when i'm in detroit bro it's no sweat i'd love to check you out

I think the Japanese sweet potato turned either way. I don't want to risk it. Well, before we head out, we were finally able to make some announcements, Jason. And I think this is – we're very excited. We are officially crossing the pond, heading to beautiful London to do How Long Gone Live with our friends at Matches Fashion on January 26th at [redacted address], their world headquarters. We're going to be doing our show with a very, very special guest, a British legend, honestly. Someone that you're all very familiar with. We're very excited to have her with us. A fashion icon. A stylish British person. A stylish. So stylish that they almost lived inside of a house of style for years. Yes, you're right. But I don't want to say their name because I will jinx it and something bad will happen. Also, I mean, if you live in the East Village, you may have seen her at Cabin. Alexa, guess the podcast guest. We're also doing a show at the Moth Club in Hackney with our friend Issy Wood that we're very excited about on January 29th. Those tickets are for sale. How long gone? Moth Club? Issy Wood? one of the coolest guests that we had all year in the flesh, we were trading. Different memes about nutting just a couple days ago in anticipation of the show. Yeah, no. So if you are... Nobody cooler than Izzy Wood. So excited. There will be an RSVP link floating around for matches. It's going to be pretty tight capacity. Also, after matches, we're keeping the party going at Sweeties at the Standard London with DJ Them Jeans and friend of the show, Louise Chen. on the ones and twos. Hopefully some other special guests will stop by. I mean, this roster of events in London, Gone Week in London, it was so well curated. And thank you to all of our team, which is mostly Chris.

Thank you, everyone at Purple PR for helping out. We need to give a shout-out to Stevie and the whole crew at Purple PR. And just also, if you work at Tattler or the Daily Mail, we'll make sure to get you in to anything you want to come to. Just let us know. You know where to find us. But, yeah, the 26th at Matches and Sweeties at the Standard and then the 29th at the Moth Club. All these links will be up tomorrow or today, Monday, the 16th. Yeah, and Daily Mail, if... If we're not famous enough to get coverage in your fine paper, let us know what we need to do. I will fight a child. I will get a DUI. While we're thinking about the Daily Mail, I need to celebrate Noel Gallagher's divorce because this does mean that once he has to pay out. I saw you tweet this. I would love to know Noel Gallagher getting a divorce after 22 years of marriage. How does that then? affect an oasis reunion because he's going to have to give her half of his money and he's going to want to make that money back and the only way to do that is to do an oasis tour with his brother and i will say liam tweeted a link to the jay-z song 99 problems today Which seems like that also is a little third eye clue that they're reunited because he's saying, this bitch ain't a problem for us. We're Oasis. That's what it feels like to me. So Liam Armey is looking at that with the snake emoji and the magnifying glass emoji, reading between the lines on that one. Yeah, I might be reading too deeply into it, but that's kind of, it's called wishful thinking. And also when Jay-Z and Liam both equally likely to say, I feel bad for you, son, but in two very different ways of saying son. That's true. That's actually a great point. Another New York-London similarity. But yeah, we're very excited to cross the pond, and we'll see you guys in London. If you're taking...

If you're taking the train from Paris, go ahead and book your ticket. If you need to come down from Manchester, just make those arrangements. Yeah, so go to the Moth Club website or follow them on Instagram. You can buy tickets on their website January 29th, and we look forward to seeing all y'all right on. Later. This is